Zoella #5 Biological clock is knocking on door but her boyfriend has the mental age of 4

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emm said:
yeh even so 100,000.is a lot for renovations, anyone know what they are doing?!
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Extensions can cost a lot and if they are getting a new kitchen, flooring etc they'll probably go for high end stuff which would bump up the price. Also if the house is old then there's probably damp or woodworm or something which could be a surprise cost. Also it depends on how much DIY they do
 
Just enough to get "content" , nowhere near enough to do any really significant work or cut costs much (at a guess).
 
jammy said:
In Joe's latest vlog, they go visit their Dad for Fathers Day and she finally get's to open the Xmas presents from him... in fuckin June! 😒
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No way. That is sad. I've never thought it before but now I do... that Alfie has seperated her from her old friends and her family. She never sees her grandparents either anymore. But now that Alfie is away, she is suddenly back home and visiting her family, out running, spending time with her mum, etc. I am sorry but there is something really wrong with that. ZOE, DUMP HIM, PLEASE.
 
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bubbletea123 said:
No way. That is sad. I've never thought it before but now I do... that Alfie has seperated her from her old friends and her family. She never sees her grandparents either anymore. But now that Alfie is away, she is suddenly back home and visiting her family, out running, spending time with her mum, etc. I am sorry but there is something really wrong with that. ZOE, DUMP HIM, PLEASE.
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You can't put that on him though. She's the one who constantly needs to be with others and this time while Alfie's gone, she's attached herself to Joe (and Poppy) - last time it was her mum, and it's been Mark most other times the last couple of years. If she could just learn to exist independently for change, she could go visit her family on her own if Alfie isn't interested - I mean Alfie has no troubles leaving Zoe alone. She's actively choosing not to see her family - with or without Alfie - and that lies on her.

Who she really needs to ditch is that therapist. Clearly her anxiety and codependency issues have not been worked out, and by sticking with the stupid Skype sessions they never will be. She needs someone to challenge her to make strides to venture out of the house on her own - even just to get groceries or pick up lunch (instead of delivery) - and to spend a night alone in the house. She turns into whoever she's with - with Mark the silent laugher, her mom she gardens and runs, Joe she cares about family, and Alfie well... She needs to develop a bleeping independent personality that is hers alone and figure out what she actually likes and dislikes and not just become a carbon copy of whoever she's leeched onto fearing they'll leave her. It's okay to have interests that differ from those around you.
 
sburton said:
You can't put that on him though. She's the one who constantly needs to be with others and this time while Alfie's gone, she's attached herself to Joe (and Poppy) - last time it was her mum, and it's been Mark most other times the last couple of years. If she could just learn to exist independently for change, she could go visit her family on her own if Alfie isn't interested - I mean Alfie has no troubles leaving Zoe alone. She's actively choosing not to see her family - with or without Alfie - and that lies on her.

Who she really needs to ditch is that therapist. Clearly her anxiety and codependency issues have not been worked out, and by sticking with the stupid Skype sessions they never will be. She needs someone to challenge her to make strides to venture out of the house on her own - even just to get groceries or pick up lunch (instead of delivery) - and to spend a night alone in the house. She turns into whoever she's with - with Mark the silent laugher, her mom she gardens and runs, Joe she cares about family, and Alfie well... She needs to develop a bleeping independent personality that is hers alone and figure out what she actually likes and dislikes and not just become a carbon copy of whoever she's leeched onto fearing they'll leave her. It's okay to have interests that differ from those around you.
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Last time Alfie was away and then when he came back, she had a full on panic attack, and honestly, I felt that was really telling.
 
sburton said:
You can't put that on him though. She's the one who constantly needs to be with others and this time while Alfie's gone, she's attached herself to Joe (and Poppy) - last time it was her mum, and it's been Mark most other times the last couple of years. If she could just learn to exist independently for change, she could go visit her family on her own if Alfie isn't interested - I mean Alfie has no troubles leaving Zoe alone. She's actively choosing not to see her family - with or without Alfie - and that lies on her.

Who she really needs to ditch is that therapist. Clearly her anxiety and codependency issues have not been worked out, and by sticking with the stupid Skype sessions they never will be. She needs someone to challenge her to make strides to venture out of the house on her own - even just to get groceries or pick up lunch (instead of delivery) - and to spend a night alone in the house. She turns into whoever she's with - with Mark the silent laugher, her mom she gardens and runs, Joe she cares about family, and Alfie well... She needs to develop a bleeping independent personality that is hers alone and figure out what she actually likes and dislikes and not just become a carbon copy of whoever she's leeched onto fearing they'll leave her. It's okay to have interests that differ from those around you.
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I agree with you, she’s a bleeping adult, she needs to grow up. But I do believe Alfie contributes to her crappy lifestyle, which she is kind of blind to but deep down she really knows he sucks, I think.. that’s why she’s so unhappy. He’s a total prick who manipulates her emotions, and she has allowed him to.

A Skype therapist is a crock of tit, she needs to sit down with a more qualified person in that field, but at the end of the day a therapist can’t wave a magic wand and solve all of someone’s problems, and are actually trained to kind of “agree” or see that persons side of a situation. In the end it’s all up to her and her own choices. I hope by 30 she can make some real improvements and HOPEFULLY ditch Horse Teeth Deyes.
 
Real talk. I am legit shocked at how much she's been changing while Alfie is away. She is doing.....so many things we wish she would on a regular basis.

It almost messes with my head since half the reason I happily talk tit about her on here is that I assumed she was beyond help. I almost feel a bit guilty now that she's acting like a normal late 20s woman 😂
 
The fact that she’s *finally* gone to see her family whilst Elf is gone is SO telling. It almost feels like there’s an element of control that Alfie is exerting over her. Maybe not blatantly saying “I don’t want you to visit your family” but coming up with some other reason or excuse why she can’t or shouldn’t go. And I’m sure if Alfie just said “Oh I can’t go bc I have this thing I need to do and would like you to be there/help me” then that’s all the reason Zoe would need to stay in Brighton. Zoe already struggles with independence, so Alfie can easily control her with his mere presence in her life.

I had a friend who was super independent before she married her asshole (now ex) husband and he somehow controlled her to the point that she stopped seeing friends and family, got so depressed, developed an eating disorder, and just hid in the house all the time. It was extremely toxic and abusive, and I feel like I’m starting to see elements of that in Zoe and Alfie’s relationship. It’s scary, honestly.
 
Tookah said:
Ooooh that makes a lot more sense. I'm guessing reno costs are 100-200k? I haven't seen the house tho:unsure:

I know house prices down south are expensive - I live there! Great for my parents cos their house is worth 5x what they paid - sucks for me 😭😭
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Sorry didn’t realise you meant you just the reno’s Originally
Gigglez said:
I agree with you, she’s a bleeping adult, she needs to grow up. But I do believe Alfie contributes to her crappy lifestyle, which she is kind of blind to but deep down she really knows he sucks, I think.. that’s why she’s so unhappy. He’s a total prick who manipulates her emotions, and she has allowed him to.

A Skype therapist is a crock of tit, she needs to sit down with a more qualified person in that field, but at the end of the day a therapist can’t wave a magic wand and solve all of someone’s problems, and are actually trained to kind of “agree” or see that persons side of a situation. In the end it’s all up to her and her own choices. I hope by 30 she can make some real improvements and HOPEFULLY ditch Horse Teeth Deyes.
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she could see the best therapist in the land with all the money she has
 
Just finished watching Joe's new vlog. He is speaking about Zoe and Nala (aka Alan).
Dianne: 'Who is Alan? Is she cheating on Alfie?'.
She's not been in the family long but already knows Alfie's an idiot 😂

And what a surprise... They arrived back from Wiltshire and she ordered pizza. Does she eat anything besides pizza? 🤦🏼‍♀️
 
Watched Joe’s vlog, wow Wiltshire is gorgeous! They are lucky to have grown up there. Love how Joe said him and Dianne could one day live in the first house he and zoe lived in growing up.
I’m actually glad Zoe spent the day with them, to see how a real relationship is. (I like Joe & Dianne together..) it’s weird though because Zoe still seemed a bit out of place... like even seeing her father, she has removed herself so far from things that would actually be good for her. Joe, Dianne, their father, all seem to have a sense of humor which I know Zoe has as well, you can see the stark contrast when thinking of Alfie, who has none what-so-ever. He doesn’t even know how to handle sarcasm. I bet that could be pretty frustrating for Zoe... he’s not only a crappy boyfriend but a humorless bore.
 
Gigglez said:
Watched Joe’s vlog, wow Wiltshire is gorgeous! They are lucky to have grown up there. Love how Joe said him and Dianne could one day live in the first house he and zoe lived in growing up.
I’m actually glad Zoe spent the day with them, to see how a real relationship is. (I like Joe & Dianne together..) it’s weird though because Zoe still seemed a bit out of place... like even seeing her father, she has removed herself so far from things that would actually be good for her. Joe, Dianne, their father, all seem to have a sense of humor which I know Zoe has as well, you can see the stark contrast when thinking of Alfie, who has none what-so-ever. He doesn’t even know how to handle sarcasm. I bet that could be pretty frustrating for Zoe... he’s not only a crappy boyfriend but a humorless bore.
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I also think there’s a big difference between the effort that dianne makes with joes(and zoes) family compared to alfie.
 
cherry198 said:
I also think there’s a big difference between the effort that dianne makes with joes(and zoes) family compared to alfie.
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Yeah thinking back to when Alfie would visit (thinking wayyy back ) it sort of seemed he was just sitting there politely, on the edge of things. Not rude but not really engaging, like Dianne does. Maybe he made it obvious to Zoe he was bored so she doesn't want him to go again which is pretty twatty and fits the idea of him being controlling we've been debating. Zoe should grow up and go by herself but that's irrelevant really. A partner should try and get along with their spouses family and not act like it's a big chore, it's quite hurtful. Plus hypocritical considering how close Zoe is with his. Of course this is all hypothetitcal. He might not be like that.
 
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