Tiffany Thinks #8

[Doherty557]

I found Tiffany when I was diagnosed with cancer in April. I was diagnosed with stage 4 (initially I was told it was a pre cancerous mass that would be removed via an easy surgery, then was diagnosed stage 3 and then stage 4 within 4 weeks) lung cancer (never smoked).

sometimes she rubs me up the wrong way, usually with the baby voice. But I think it’s unfair to judge her for being in denial. I think she was in denial. As was I at first, but she is grasping it now.

sometimes I think stage 3 is as hard as incurable stage four, because you have the hope of a cure but the anxiety that it’ll spread further and become incurable, atleady at stage 4 I know my fate and everything I do is to prolong life not save it.

there are many people on these threads on their own cancer journey but there are many who aren’t. And what I will say to those who aren’t, isthat you will never know how you will act after a cancer diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions is unbearable. The medication makes it even worse,mine sent me into complete psychosis.

I have (had) a very close friend who was my main support system.He is deeply religious and tried to convince me prayer would save Me. No matter how many times I told him my cancer was incurable hetold me to be positive and ignore facts. He said bad things about my doctor and told me they are there to drag me down and I shouldn’t trust them. He almost convinced me…at a very low point where Ifelt helpless I started to pray and read the bible. I refused to Google my cancer or listen to the doctors.

I have been in treatment non stop and continue to take entrectinib but 4 weeks after finishing chemo and radiation a tumour in my liver has grown 40%. I told my friend I need to go back on active treatment, he asked me am I sure, should I not give my body a chance to heal.

i don’t have time for that. I’ve made the hard decision to remove my absolute best friend from my life and the pain is indescribable.

we never know what people are saying to Tiffany, her friends, family, Matt could all be giving her hope. Throw in religion and it’s a recipe for disaster. I do not blame her for ending up in this position, it’s very sad. I don’t think matt will everunderstand the gravity of cancer and that it cannot be healedvia God.Amma is also in denial as she can’t face losing her daughter. This all rubs off on Tiffany who is clearly a people pleaser. I wonder if she was truly happy to watch and wait or whether it was Matt pushingfor this.

sorry for the long message, I am still coming to terms with my own cancer, watching Tiffany has been difficult but I can’t seem to look away.

I hope everyone on This thread is doing well, I know many face cancer themselves or their loved ones which is how we ended up watching Tiffany in the first place. I think her YT is almost a cry for help, she cannot talk to family about the realities as they’re all in denial. She’s seeking the public instead

sorry for any typos, I am tired!

 

[penny1992]

I was looking for posts on reddit about people's experiences with PE and there are barely any. Normally you can find a lot of info on there about subjects.

 

[Turaj]

Nat is so lovely and diplomatic. People must have been bothering her with messages about Tiffany for her to make a public 'statement' like that. It's on Tiffany whether a conversation between the two will take place. I worry she will not take this opportunity. We know that Vanessa Lopez (colorectal cancer) had reached out to Tiffany a while ago but nothing happened.

Big mistake...both of these women could be great people to have a chat with...maybe even voice facetime type of chat. Tiffany needs to move beyond her protective circle but that will only happen if and when she is ready. very nice that they reached out. That is all you can do.

 

[BCrowl]

I found Tiffany when I was diagnosed with cancer in April. I was diagnosed with stage 4 (initially I was told it was a pre cancerous mass that would be removed via an easy surgery, then was diagnosed stage 3 and then stage 4 within 4 weeks) lung cancer (never smoked).

sometimes she rubs me up the wrong way, usually with the baby voice. But I think it’s unfair to judge her for being in denial. I think she was in denial. As was I at first, but she is grasping it now.

sometimes I think stage 3 is as hard as incurable stage four, because you have the hope of a cure but the anxiety that it’ll spread further and become incurable, atleady at stage 4 I know my fate and everything I do is to prolong life not save it.

there are many people on these threads on their own cancer journey but there are many who aren’t. And what I will say to those who aren’t, isthat you will never know how you will act after a cancer diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions is unbearable. The medication makes it even worse,mine sent me into complete psychosis.

I have (had) a very close friend who was my main support system.He is deeply religious and tried to convince me prayer would save Me. No matter how many times I told him my cancer was incurable hetold me to be positive and ignore facts. He said bad things about my doctor and told me they are there to drag me down and I shouldn’t trust them. He almost convinced me…at a very low point where Ifelt helpless I started to pray and read the bible. I refused to Google my cancer or listen to the doctors.

I have been in treatment non stop and continue to take entrectinib but 4 weeks after finishing chemo and radiation a tumour in my liver has grown 40%. I told my friend I need to go back on active treatment, he asked me am I sure, should I not give my body a chance to heal.

i don’t have time for that. I’ve made the hard decision to remove my absolute best friend from my life and the pain is indescribable.

we never know what people are saying to Tiffany, her friends, family, Matt could all be giving her hope. Throw in religion and it’s a recipe for disaster. I do not blame her for ending up in this position, it’s very sad. I don’t think matt will everunderstand the gravity of cancer and that it cannot be healedvia God.Amma is also in denial as she can’t face losing her daughter. This all rubs off on Tiffany who is clearly a people pleaser. I wonder if she was truly happy to watch and wait or whether it was Matt pushingfor this.

sorry for the long message, I am still coming to terms with my own cancer, watching Tiffany has been difficult but I can’t seem to look away.

I hope everyone on This thread is doing well, I know many face cancer themselves or their loved ones which is how we ended up watching Tiffany in the first place. I think her YT is almost a cry for help, she cannot talk to family about the realities as they’re all in denial. She’s seeking the public instead.

sorry for any typos, I am tired!

I am so sorry you’re going through this, and so sorry about your friend. People can pray and take treatments at the same time. I feel that God gave us doctors to help us and cure disease. I wish you well with your own journey. My beloved Dad had inoperable brain cancer, and he only lived 9 months. When we found out he had it, we burst into tears and I got sick. Cancer is awful for what it does to the patients and to the families and loved ones. Much love and hugs and prayers to you.

 

[Turaj]

I found Tiffany when I was diagnosed with cancer in April. I was diagnosed with stage 4 (initially I was told it was a pre cancerous mass that would be removed via an easy surgery, then was diagnosed stage 3 and then stage 4 within 4 weeks) lung cancer (never smoked).

sometimes she rubs me up the wrong way, usually with the baby voice. But I think it’s unfair to judge her for being in denial. I think she was in denial. As was I at first, but she is grasping it now.

sometimes I think stage 3 is as hard as incurable stage four, because you have the hope of a cure but the anxiety that it’ll spread further and become incurable, atleady at stage 4 I know my fate and everything I do is to prolong life not save it.

there are many people on these threads on their own cancer journey but there are many who aren’t. And what I will say to those who aren’t, isthat you will never know how you will act after a cancer diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions is unbearable. The medication makes it even worse,mine sent me into complete psychosis.

I have (had) a very close friend who was my main support system.He is deeply religious and tried to convince me prayer would save Me. No matter how many times I told him my cancer was incurable hetold me to be positive and ignore facts. He said bad things about my doctor and told me they are there to drag me down and I shouldn’t trust them. He almost convinced me…at a very low point where Ifelt helpless I started to pray and read the bible. I refused to Google my cancer or listen to the doctors.

I have been in treatment non stop and continue to take entrectinib but 4 weeks after finishing chemo and radiation a tumour in my liver has grown 40%. I told my friend I need to go back on active treatment, he asked me am I sure, should I not give my body a chance to heal.

i don’t have time for that. I’ve made the hard decision to remove my absolute best friend from my life and the pain is indescribable.

we never know what people are saying to Tiffany, her friends, family, Matt could all be giving her hope. Throw in religion and it’s a recipe for disaster. I do not blame her for ending up in this position, it’s very sad. I don’t think matt will everunderstand the gravity of cancer and that it cannot be healedvia God.Amma is also in denial as she can’t face losing her daughter. This all rubs off on Tiffany who is clearly a people pleaser. I wonder if she was truly happy to watch and wait or whether it was Matt pushingfor this.

sorry for the long message, I am still coming to terms with my own cancer, watching Tiffany has been difficult but I can’t seem to look away.

I hope everyone on This thread is doing well, I know many face cancer themselves or their loved ones which is how we ended up watching Tiffany in the first place. I think her YT is almost a cry for help, she cannot talk to family about the realities as they’re all in denial. She’s seeking the public instead

sorry for any typos, I am tired!

excellent first hand observations. Best wishes as your cancer journey goes on and hope you feel well.

 

[PW212]

I found Tiffany when I was diagnosed with cancer in April. I was diagnosed with stage 4 (initially I was told it was a pre cancerous mass that would be removed via an easy surgery, then was diagnosed stage 3 and then stage 4 within 4 weeks) lung cancer (never smoked).

sometimes she rubs me up the wrong way, usually with the baby voice. But I think it’s unfair to judge her for being in denial. I think she was in denial. As was I at first, but she is grasping it now.

sometimes I think stage 3 is as hard as incurable stage four, because you have the hope of a cure but the anxiety that it’ll spread further and become incurable, atleady at stage 4 I know my fate and everything I do is to prolong life not save it.

there are many people on these threads on their own cancer journey but there are many who aren’t. And what I will say to those who aren’t, isthat you will never know how you will act after a cancer diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions is unbearable. The medication makes it even worse,mine sent me into complete psychosis.

I have (had) a very close friend who was my main support system.He is deeply religious and tried to convince me prayer would save Me. No matter how many times I told him my cancer was incurable hetold me to be positive and ignore facts. He said bad things about my doctor and told me they are there to drag me down and I shouldn’t trust them. He almost convinced me…at a very low point where Ifelt helpless I started to pray and read the bible. I refused to Google my cancer or listen to the doctors.

I have been in treatment non stop and continue to take entrectinib but 4 weeks after finishing chemo and radiation a tumour in my liver has grown 40%. I told my friend I need to go back on active treatment, he asked me am I sure, should I not give my body a chance to heal.

i don’t have time for that. I’ve made the hard decision to remove my absolute best friend from my life and the pain is indescribable.

we never know what people are saying to Tiffany, her friends, family, Matt could all be giving her hope. Throw in religion and it’s a recipe for disaster. I do not blame her for ending up in this position, it’s very sad. I don’t think matt will everunderstand the gravity of cancer and that it cannot be healedvia God.Amma is also in denial as she can’t face losing her daughter. This all rubs off on Tiffany who is clearly a people pleaser. I wonder if she was truly happy to watch and wait or whether it was Matt pushingfor this.

sorry for the long message, I am still coming to terms with my own cancer, watching Tiffany has been difficult but I can’t seem to look away.

I hope everyone on This thread is doing well, I know many face cancer themselves or their loved ones which is how we ended up watching Tiffany in the first place. I think her YT is almost a cry for help, she cannot talk to family about the realities as they’re all in denial. She’s seeking the public instead

sorry for any typos, I am tired!

Thank you for posting. You are courageous to do so. I wish you some comfort as you battle this.

 

[ginnyw]

I found Tiffany when I was diagnosed with cancer in April. I was diagnosed with stage 4 (initially I was told it was a pre cancerous mass that would be removed via an easy surgery, then was diagnosed stage 3 and then stage 4 within 4 weeks) lung cancer (never smoked).

sometimes she rubs me up the wrong way, usually with the baby voice. But I think it’s unfair to judge her for being in denial. I think she was in denial. As was I at first, but she is grasping it now.

sometimes I think stage 3 is as hard as incurable stage four, because you have the hope of a cure but the anxiety that it’ll spread further and become incurable, atleady at stage 4 I know my fate and everything I do is to prolong life not save it.

there are many people on these threads on their own cancer journey but there are many who aren’t. And what I will say to those who aren’t, isthat you will never know how you will act after a cancer diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions is unbearable. The medication makes it even worse,mine sent me into complete psychosis.

I have (had) a very close friend who was my main support system.He is deeply religious and tried to convince me prayer would save Me. No matter how many times I told him my cancer was incurable hetold me to be positive and ignore facts. He said bad things about my doctor and told me they are there to drag me down and I shouldn’t trust them. He almost convinced me…at a very low point where Ifelt helpless I started to pray and read the bible. I refused to Google my cancer or listen to the doctors.

I have been in treatment non stop and continue to take entrectinib but 4 weeks after finishing chemo and radiation a tumour in my liver has grown 40%. I told my friend I need to go back on active treatment, he asked me am I sure, should I not give my body a chance to heal.

i don’t have time for that. I’ve made the hard decision to remove my absolute best friend from my life and the pain is indescribable.

we never know what people are saying to Tiffany, her friends, family, Matt could all be giving her hope. Throw in religion and it’s a recipe for disaster. I do not blame her for ending up in this position, it’s very sad. I don’t think matt will everunderstand the gravity of cancer and that it cannot be healedvia God.Amma is also in denial as she can’t face losing her daughter. This all rubs off on Tiffany who is clearly a people pleaser. I wonder if she was truly happy to watch and wait or whether it was Matt pushingfor this.

sorry for the long message, I am still coming to terms with my own cancer, watching Tiffany has been difficult but I can’t seem to look away.

I hope everyone on This thread is doing well, I know many face cancer themselves or their loved ones which is how we ended up watching Tiffany in the first place. I think her YT is almost a cry for help, she cannot talk to family about the realities as they’re all in denial. She’s seeking the public instead

sorry for any typos, I am tired!

Can I add my thanks to you for posting this message, which must have been difficult to write? Your friend doesn't sound like a true friend, because true friends support you in your decisions and don't impose their own feelings/beliefs/agendas. But I can see how sad that must have been.

 

[ladyt7087]

The way I understood it was that the biopsy will be on A Friday, and the surgery on A Wednesday following THAT Friday, the week wasn't specified. I guess he does these procedures on specific weekdays.

No. Surgery date isnt settled. She will see surgeon the Wed after her biopsy to discuss. Surgery not til mid Dec per Tiffany.

 

[Saydee]

excellent first hand observations. Best wishes as your cancer journey goes on and hope you feel well.

Turaj, with respect, are you sure you don't need to contact Maggies for some support?
I understand that you care about Tiffany, lets face it, we all do. Or I like to think we all do.
You are bouncing from banging on and on and on about Tiffany must gain some weight < Let me tell you this. Some patients can not gain weight. For some patients it is IMPOSSIBLE.
Tiffany will have surgery whether she gains weight or not. Weight gain is a recommendation only. Prehab is a recommendation for patients facing long surgery.
Now you have moved on to banging on and on and on about Tiffany needing to connect with another patient, maybe even facetime? <Let me tell you this. If I was Tiffany the last thing I would want to do is to connect to another patient in the same position/situation. It would depress me!!!
Why do you continue to ignore posts? Again, tiffany knows about Maggies support centres, she mentioned it in the car after she had chemo. She decided she did not want to go and wanted to go visit her auntie instead.
Tiffany is not a child, she is 30 years old and she is capable of making her own decisions. Help and support is there. Tiffany knows this and has chosen not to take it.
"Tiffany needs to move beyond her protective circle"? Do you actually realise the implications of what you believe?

 

[Turaj]

Turaj, with respect, are you sure you don't need to contact Maggies for some support?
I understand that you care about Tiffany, lets face it, we all do. Or I like to think we all do.
You are bouncing from banging on and on and on about Tiffany must gain some weight < Let me tell you this. Some patients can not gain weight. For some patients it is IMPOSSIBLE.
Tiffany will have surgery whether she gains weight or not. Weight gain is a recommendation only. Prehab is a recommendation for patients facing long surgery.
Now you have moved on to banging on and on and on about Tiffany needing to connect with another patient, maybe even facetime? <Let me tell you this. If I was Tiffany the last thing I would want to do is to connect to another patient in the same position/situation. It would depress me!!!
Why do you continue to ignore posts? Again, tiffany knows about Maggies support centres, she mentioned it in the car after she had chemo. She decided she did not want to go and wanted to go visit her auntie instead.
Tiffany is not a child, she is 30 years old and she is capable of making her own decisions. Help and support is there. Tiffany knows this and has chosen not to take it.
"Tiffany needs to move beyond her protective circle"? Do you actually realise the implications of what you believe?

thank you for following my posts so closely and such valuable advice and concern.

 

[ginnyw]

thank you for following my posts so closely and such valuable advice and concern.

I think your posts have been pretty respectful. Just sayin'

 

[Saydee]

Sometimes I wonder if they ever see something that makes them say clear the calendar we need to go in there now? Most of my personal or family surgery experience is when something needs to be done it is within the week...but again that is US and Mayo Clinic with so many surgeons etc. And in most cases large teams are in place for open heart surgery etc. Tiff's surgery requires so many surgeons to be available on that day etc. It does seem that this requires some planning but I too heard mid Dec. to give about 30 days of prep which seems to be required.

No surgeons have theatre slots. Surgeons don't just look at Tiffanys scans and say they need to take her to theatre NOW! Tiffany is unwell, but she doesnt have condition which puts her at risk NOW.
Emergency theatre slots are for people in car crashes, young children bleeding out etc. Patients in A&E that have life threatening problems.
Again, Tiffanys surgery requires several surgeons to be available at the same time. A bed to be available in ICU. Plans need to be put into place and rightly so.
If an ICU bed isnt available on the planned day, surgery will be cancelled and rearranged.

He can't see cancer cells. He can see len growth there. She should have said just cancer.

What does len growth mean?

 

[SunshineGirly]

No. Surgery date isnt settled. She will see surgeon the Wed after her biopsy to discuss. Surgery not til mid Dec per Tiffany.

That will be nearly three months without treatment. I wish she was advised to make better use of her time during those 8 weeks. A short sunny holiday in nature would have been good for her.

 

[Saydee]

I found Tiffany when I was diagnosed with cancer in April. I was diagnosed with stage 4 (initially I was told it was a pre cancerous mass that would be removed via an easy surgery, then was diagnosed stage 3 and then stage 4 within 4 weeks) lung cancer (never smoked).

sometimes she rubs me up the wrong way, usually with the baby voice. But I think it’s unfair to judge her for being in denial. I think she was in denial. As was I at first, but she is grasping it now.

sometimes I think stage 3 is as hard as incurable stage four, because you have the hope of a cure but the anxiety that it’ll spread further and become incurable, atleady at stage 4 I know my fate and everything I do is to prolong life not save it.

there are many people on these threads on their own cancer journey but there are many who aren’t. And what I will say to those who aren’t, isthat you will never know how you will act after a cancer diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions is unbearable. The medication makes it even worse,mine sent me into complete psychosis.

I have (had) a very close friend who was my main support system.He is deeply religious and tried to convince me prayer would save Me. No matter how many times I told him my cancer was incurable hetold me to be positive and ignore facts. He said bad things about my doctor and told me they are there to drag me down and I shouldn’t trust them. He almost convinced me…at a very low point where Ifelt helpless I started to pray and read the bible. I refused to Google my cancer or listen to the doctors.

I have been in treatment non stop and continue to take entrectinib but 4 weeks after finishing chemo and radiation a tumour in my liver has grown 40%. I told my friend I need to go back on active treatment, he asked me am I sure, should I not give my body a chance to heal.

i don’t have time for that. I’ve made the hard decision to remove my absolute best friend from my life and the pain is indescribable.

we never know what people are saying to Tiffany, her friends, family, Matt could all be giving her hope. Throw in religion and it’s a recipe for disaster. I do not blame her for ending up in this position, it’s very sad. I don’t think matt will everunderstand the gravity of cancer and that it cannot be healedvia God.Amma is also in denial as she can’t face losing her daughter. This all rubs off on Tiffany who is clearly a people pleaser. I wonder if she was truly happy to watch and wait or whether it was Matt pushingfor this.

sorry for the long message, I am still coming to terms with my own cancer, watching Tiffany has been difficult but I can’t seem to look away.

I hope everyone on This thread is doing well, I know many face cancer themselves or their loved ones which is how we ended up watching Tiffany in the first place. I think her YT is almost a cry for help, she cannot talk to family about the realities as they’re all in denial. She’s seeking the public instead

sorry for any typos, I am tired!

Cutting out your best friend must be painful, especially at a point in your life where best friends are needed. I hope with time that your friend can reflect on things, and accept your decisions, even if he doesn't agree with them.

 

[EmyUrban]

I think the biopsy will be Friday (day after tomorrow), not the pelvic exenteration...
for the latter you need the whole team and she was told to put on some weight first.
Somewhere she mentioned surgery is scheduled to take place mid-December if I´m not mistaken

The date of the surgery depends on the biopsy. IF it’s cancerous and the surgeon can see it right away or if the biopsy is impossible the surgery will be earlier. If the thickening is non cancerous maybe mid December or later? It seems that maybe surgery might happen very soon/ urgently if needed ? So maybe it might happen the Wednesday following the biopsy …? It seems that even Elodie Tiffany and Matt don’t know the timeline …

 

[SunshineGirly]

I don’t see Tiffany being in ICU only a few days. Realistically it will probably be at least a week until she’s stable enough for a ward. It’s likely she will develop pressure sores due to the nature of her surgery and her weight. It’s going to be so so hard.

 

[Saydee]

I don’t see Tiffany being in ICU only a few days. Realistically it will probably be at least a week until she’s stable enough for a ward.

Usually its stepped down. ICU, then HDU (high dependancy unit) and then ward level. .

 

[ladyt7087]

The date of the surgery depends on the biopsy. IF it’s cancerous and the surgeon can see it right away or if the biopsy is impossible the surgery will be earlier. If the thickening is non cancerous maybe mid December or later? It seems that maybe surgery might happen very soon/ urgently if needed ? So maybe it might happen the Wednesday following the biopsy …? It seems that even Elodie Tiffany and Matt don’t know the timeline …

Wrong

 

[Sheba]

I don’t see Tiffany being in ICU only a few days. Realistically it will probably be at least a week until she’s stable enough for a ward. It’s likely she will develop pressure sores due to the nature of her surgery and her weight. It’s going to be so so hard.

well, she cannot lay on her backside for 6 weeks, those skin flaps need constant blood supply. So it will be one side, then the other. I think they will do their utmost to avoid pressure sores.

 

[Leofeldhas]

my gut feeling tells me that (maybe) the doctors hold up T. Not sure if the MDT (multi disciplinary team) have really already decided to do the surgery. What the three in the car have said about the appointment was a bit "hectic"...somehow it seems to me that T didn´t get it right...prove me wrong...we will see...