This Mama Life #32

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Shinythings said:
As I've said before a lot of the way Sarah works is about punishing people if they don't give her what she wants. On some level she is punishing Rob for going away and the same to her Mum.
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I think that is right - even if it's subconscious, it's a driver. She finds it very difficult to take responsibility for her actions and is actually quite passive aggressive with poor emotional regulation. A lot of her behaviours are motivated by "look what you made me do" coupled with a struggle to see a baby as it's own little person and not an extension or reflection of herself
 
I think her biggest fear is silent reflux and still is… (as she’s thick as bleeping mince) I honestly think that’s what the chiropractor appt was for as well. You can tell she’s BURSTING to tell her birth story and make it all about her. If she was a mum off a council estate SS would’ve been involved by now. Sickens me idiots like her keep having kids and get away with being tit mum’s because they’ve got money or a social media presence.
 
Honestly my youngest was in special care and the main point driven home is about feeding, they will not let to home until they are reaching certain volumes, how did they let her home with a clearly unwell baby, if he gets any worse he'll look like a Simpson , marge will be looking for her baby back. But it's mot a laughing matter there is a precious little baby being harmed here
 
Sorry guys you will have to wait for the full version of my birth story (which sounds like most 3rd time births,including my own and really who cares?) as I’m a bit busy this week having the inconvenience of hospital appointments for my jaundiced newborn. Perhaps prioritising a private tongue tie appointment over the newborn photo shoot may have been useful.

She spent so much time waffling and working herself up about the birth but little on re-educating herself for preparing to breastfeed and let’s hope she doesn’t also have silent reflux to deal with as well.

If she must be posting on social media she could be using her platform to actually discuss what’s going on, advice she’s following with the feeding plan etc rather than passive aggressive posts about hospital appointments andvstealth boasting about how wonderful she is at giving birth.
 
Oh dear. Mastitis from inefficient feeding and lack of pumping. What a surprise. Who could possibly have thought that going out to a dance competition for hours and wasting time on a new born photo shoot could have caused such issues. She's going to bleeping hate having to sit and listen to all the advice from the frenulotomy practitioner - which will be diametrically opposite to how Sarah wants to live HER life, thank you very much

And yes, dear - it may have escaped you but all parts of the health service are stretched. That's why it's supremely annoying to have people with preventable conditions who won't follow advice causing even MORE work.
 
So she’s got mastitis. I wonder if she knows the best way to clear it? She honestly really really needs to give up trying to breastfeed. When I had mastitis I was so ill. Shivering, shakes, sore, blurry vision… the last thing I wanted was to be gallivanting here there and everywhere with a (poorly) newborn. I’ve been so close to messaging her but I know she’d just block and I actually think she’s very vulnerable so don’t want to speak out of turn.
 
lexi5436 said:
So she’s got mastitis. I wonder if she knows the best way to clear it? She honestly really really needs to give up trying to breastfeed. When I had mastitis I was so ill. Shivering, shakes, sore, blurry vision… the last thing I wanted was to be gallivanting here there and everywhere with a (poorly) newborn. I’ve been so close to messaging her but I know she’d just block and I actually think she’s very vulnerable so don’t want to speak out of turn.
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I would not give her advice meant to help, because if current behaviours are a predictor, she’s likely to do the opposite so as to prolong the situation for attention and martyrdom.
 
I don't have experience with needing to express. Luckily we managed to BF directly and I only expressed small amounts as a backup.

But my understanding was BF first, express second. Shouldn't she be doing that for him to get the bulk then top up afterwards with expressed milk?

Maybe I'll be corrected based on his current state but to me it seems like she's not even trying to encourage correct transfer of milk by expressing then feeding.

She needs to spend a good few days just in bed, doing skin to skin and feeding, with expressing and top ups second, no?
 
Justreading said:
I don't have experience with needing to express. Luckily we managed to BF directly and I only expressed small amounts as a backup.

But my understanding was BF first, express second. Shouldn't she be doing that for him to get the bulk then top up afterwards with expressed milk?

Maybe I'll be corrected based on his current state but to me it seems like she's not even trying to encourage correct transfer of milk by expressing then feeding.

She needs to spend a good few days just in bed, doing skin to skin and feeding, with expressing and top ups second, no?
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No. He can't breast feed properly. Is not transferring milk efficiently or at all, is seriously jaundiced, possible tongue tie and will have low blood sugar and be dehydrated. Failed breast feeding has caused this.

This is not a case where there just needs to be some adjustments to positioning and attachment. It's like telling a paralysed person just to practice using a fork more and wondering why they're starving to death. More of the same failed feeding method is not what is necessary.

Supplemental feeding of expressed breast milk and/or formula is absolutely necessary and the hospital have apparently given a feeding plan. Breastfeeding (so much as it is) can take oskce around this. However Sarah now has mastitis and probably shredded her nipples. Her nipples will need time to heal and she needs to be expressing to clear the breast to sort out the mastitis and to feed the expressed milk to the baby. Hence expressing is needed for that and to ensure she keeps her supply and continues to establish it.
 
Justreading said:
I don't have experience with needing to express. Luckily we managed to BF directly and I only expressed small amounts as a backup.

But my understanding was BF first, express second. Shouldn't she be doing that for him to get the bulk then top up afterwards with expressed milk?

Maybe I'll be corrected based on his current state but to me it seems like she's not even trying to encourage correct transfer of milk by expressing then feeding.

She needs to spend a good few days just in bed, doing skin to skin and feeding, with expressing and top ups second, no?
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By the sounds of it he’s tongue tied so she’s better off expressing and bottle feeding him the milk
 
willowtree2 said:
By the sounds of it he’s tongue tied so she’s better off expressing and bottle feeding him the milk
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Correct in that bottle feeding requires less effort and technique from the baby. There can still be issues with bottle feeding and a tongue tie restriction but they are less pronounced and it will be easier for a tired/dehydrated baby to take a bottle feed. There can be issues about re-eatablishing breastfeeding at the breast but the baby's condition csnt be compromised by that. In addition, Sarah is to blame for that by prioritising a newborn photo shoot etc over a private frenulotomy appointment. The baby shouldn't suffer for those poor decisions
 
Unbelievable she’s now at karate with L. I am praying someone, ANYONE in a health care setting to step in. Why, WHY is she not at home??? Not only does she have a very poorly baby but she’s on antibiotics now. Actually cannot get my head around her constant need to be out ALL THE TIME!!
 
lexi5436 said:
Unbelievable she’s now at karate with L. I am praying someone, ANYONE in a health care setting to step in. Why, WHY is she not at home??? Not only does she have a very poorly baby but she’s on antibiotics now. Actually cannot get my head around her constant need to be out ALL THE TIME!!
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Honestly have no idea how she's gonna cope when Rob leaves. She needs to get C on a feeding routine ect before he goes.
 
Lilyofthevalley80 said:
Why is she at karate? Where is Rob?!

I can only think that subconsciously or consciously she wants either herself or the baby to end up seriously ill so Rob can't deploy. She's the kind of person who would have "I Told You So!" on her head stone.

I know the GP will have given advice today and it won't be to go to karate with or without a newborn

God help them all.
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So many questions.

why does she act like Rob isn’t here even when he is. I’m getting pretty annoyed with her. She needs to realise she cannot do everything alone whilst she has a tiny baby.

did she really not see this coming a mile off? 🤯🤯🤯
 
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