The Ingham Family #341 In Dubai, really? You should’ve said

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Gymgirl said:
Those hideous glasses she looks like an Owl
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Definitely giving Deirdre Barlow vibes !

Maybe she was out with a 37 /38 year old bloke who is married with three kids , I mean if that was acceptable to Sarah and Chris when he was trying to get a 16 year old to sneak out of her family holiday accommodation , should be ok for Izzy too !

Also if Dubai is the safest place in the world , why do you even lock your doors at night ??
 
StrangeAsAngels said:
The year is 2044, the time is 3:22am. Chris is up late, dying his eyebrows. He hears a noise from the front door of the two bedroom flat they've all been squatting in for the last fifteen years (minus Aurora and Mila, who took off as soon as they hit 18 and never looked back). Upon investigation he discovers Isabelle, almost 39, sneaking in after a night out on the town. Reeking of noodles and haribo, she stumbles into the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of Caesar dressing from the fridge, chugging it empty. Mumbling something about all of the things she'll manage to accomplish before she hits 40, she opens the broom cupboard and slides in to get a few hours of sleep before she starts her psychology studies. Chris throws a gang sign and goes back to his eyebrows. Somewhere in the flat, Jace knocks Sarah's block off.

End scene.
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I am intrigued now by what all the others are doing , what cars they are driving , can Jace read yet ?

I may be a pessimist but I don’t think Sarah or Chris will be alive then , Nannar will be as she will be preserved by fags and tea and biscuits , thats what most old ladies I know , that live to a very old age, survive on !!
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Miss Judgemental said:
When did Izzy meet these people she went out with? And how did she meet them?
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La la land ! The fumes from the kitchen have made her see imaginary people !
 
Abbvay said:
It isn't really "sneaking" if she doesn't have a key and had to ask to be let in. Sneaking in is where you try so hard to be quiet, dropping keys outside the door several times, whilst continuously saying "shhhhh" to yourself and falling up the stairs.
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Is it even sneaking in if you don't suddenly start singing on your way up the stairs, or you get tangled up in your bra as you try to get somewhat undressed?
 
I'm new to this vile lot.
Watched a few videos and thought... "hmmm, this isn't really good parenting, is it?" and so I came here!

Thoughts from a newbie;
Chrish - Eeek. I wouldn't want him near my teenage daughters. He looks like he stinks. For a supposedly wealthy man, he is giving big 'poor man energy'. I don't believe his earnings claims for a second, and if I'm wrong then he has some serious hangups that make him live (and make his family live) like they're hand-to-mouth. A vulgar money-fetishist.
Fat Saz - A very odd, moonfaced enabler. She seems desperately unhappy, but is playing along with her hideous husband's plans either because she doesn't want to lose him, and has negligible self-worth, or because she is ridiculously bovine and just goes along with everything he says. Equally culpable.
Isabelle - She could be a vibrant, engaging young woman, with a full, exciting life ahead of herself. But she lives in a cupboard, and has seemingly signed over her future to her Mum and Dad. If she escapes, she has a world of potential.
Esme - Deeply dislikable. I'm a mum of teenage daughters, and can't say what I want to say because she's a teenage girl... but I don't envision wonderful things in her future.
Isla - A clever, inquisitive little spark. She has a joy for life, but appears to be sidelined for her more lucrative siblings. Of them all, I hope that Isla is able to find a life free from the confines and oppression of her family.
Jace - I can't allow myself to say what I really think of this spawn of satan child.
Mila - A happy little soul, whose spirit is being squashed by the weight of her foul family. I hope whoever escapes first takes her and Aurora with them.
Aurora - a baby. Not fair that she's been born into this life.
 
Colin The Caterpillar said:
I'm new to this vile lot.
Watched a few videos and thought... "hmmm, this isn't really good parenting, is it?" and so I came here!

Thoughts from a newbie;
Chrish - Eeek. I wouldn't want him near my teenage daughters. He looks like he stinks. For a supposedly wealthy man, he is giving big 'poor man energy'. I don't believe his earnings claims for a second, and if I'm wrong then he has some serious hangups that make him live (and make his family live) like they're hand-to-mouth. A vulgar money-fetishist.
Fat Saz - A very odd, moonfaced enabler. She seems desperately unhappy, but is playing along with her hideous husband's plans either because she doesn't want to lose him, and has negligible self-worth, or because she is ridiculously bovine and just goes along with everything he says. Equally culpable.
Isabelle - She could be a vibrant, engaging young woman, with a full, exciting life ahead of herself. But she lives in a cupboard, and has seemingly signed over her future to her Mum and Dad. If she escapes, she has a world of potential.
Esme - Deeply dislikable. I'm a mum of teenage daughters, and can't say what I want to say because she's a teenage girl... but I don't envision wonderful things in her future.
Isla - A clever, inquisitive little spark. She has a joy for life, but appears to be sidelined for her more lucrative siblings. Of them all, I hope that Isla is able to find a life free from the confines and oppression of her family.
Jace - I can't allow myself to say what I really think of this spawn of satan child.
Mila - A happy little soul, whose spirit is being squashed by the weight of her foul family. I hope whoever escapes first takes her and Aurora with them.
Aurora - a baby. Not fair that she's been born into this life.
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im laughing so much at your description of jace

hes a bloody horrible child

i feel so sorry for Isla

Esmé is one annoying - almost unbearable to watch

there’s been an awful lot of references to having another baby or hints dropped regarding babies

I could put mone on it big saz is gonna spit another kid out because it’s all they’ve got for content now - imagine having to have sex with chris Ingham 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

😳😳😳😳
 
Colin The Caterpillar said:
I'm new to this vile lot.
Watched a few videos and thought... "hmmm, this isn't really good parenting, is it?" and so I came here!

Thoughts from a newbie;
Chrish - Eeek. I wouldn't want him near my teenage daughters. He looks like he stinks. For a supposedly wealthy man, he is giving big 'poor man energy'. I don't believe his earnings claims for a second, and if I'm wrong then he has some serious hangups that make him live (and make his family live) like they're hand-to-mouth. A vulgar money-fetishist.
Fat Saz - A very odd, moonfaced enabler. She seems desperately unhappy, but is playing along with her hideous husband's plans either because she doesn't want to lose him, and has negligible self-worth, or because she is ridiculously bovine and just goes along with everything he says. Equally culpable.
Isabelle - She could be a vibrant, engaging young woman, with a full, exciting life ahead of herself. But she lives in a cupboard, and has seemingly signed over her future to her Mum and Dad. If she escapes, she has a world of potential.
Esme - Deeply dislikable. I'm a mum of teenage daughters, and can't say what I want to say because she's a teenage girl... but I don't envision wonderful things in her future.
Isla - A clever, inquisitive little spark. She has a joy for life, but appears to be sidelined for her more lucrative siblings. Of them all, I hope that Isla is able to find a life free from the confines and oppression of her family.
Jace - I can't allow myself to say what I really think of this spawn of satan child.
Mila - A happy little soul, whose spirit is being squashed by the weight of her foul family. I hope whoever escapes first takes her and Aurora with them.
Aurora - a baby. Not fair that she's been born into this life.
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the first one to escape will probably be Jaceus, and I don't know if that would be much better.
 
Rosie Tatler said:
I am intrigued now by what all the others are doing , what cars they are driving , can Jace read yet ?
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Isla: reached 25, and decided to get away. Still visits, but very sparingly. Works in Boots. Has a little flat filled with pets, and makes faceless slime videos as a hobby, a trend that recently came back. Prefers to scooter everywhere.

Esme: still lipsyncs to songs. Never got to see Taylor Swift, even though she is still touring. Mostly spends her free time snorting retinol and practicing grimaces in front of the mirror. Is her mother's full time caregiver. Getting her teeth fixed soon. Has a car but you are not allowed to see it. Not because it doesn't exist. Shut up. You don't know nuthin.

Sarah: after her appearance on My 600lb Life, she managed to get down to 450lbs but gained it all back after Chris threatened to leave her for Dr. Nowzaradan. She only leaves the house on Nannar's payday (you are correct, Nannar is alive and kicking, preserved by cigs and the new anti aging formaldehyde/collagen cream Esme shop lifted while visiting Isla at work) and her latest passion is her amazing hun home business, selling the hot new craze sweeping the nation, BLACK DOT toenail tattoos.

Jace: in and out of prison. Mostly for stealing cars and stalking, and once for knocking his father's block off (nobody noticed). Hasn't been able to recover from the jailhouse haircut he got when he got sent to juvie, and now keeps his hair long at all times. Wears a vintage primark beanie from his father's collection to cover up his bald crown. Getting his eyes fixed soon. Isn't allowed within 1000ft of cars (or schools).
 
StrangeAsAngels said:
The year is 2044, the time is 3:22am. Chris is up late, dying his eyebrows. He hears a noise from the front door of the two bedroom flat they've all been squatting in for the last fifteen years (minus Aurora and Mila, who took off as soon as they hit 18 and never looked back). Upon investigation he discovers Isabelle, almost 39, sneaking in after a night out on the town. Reeking of noodles and haribo, she stumbles into the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of Caesar dressing from the fridge, chugging it empty. Mumbling something about all of the things she'll manage to accomplish before she hits 40, she opens the broom cupboard and slides in to get a few hours of sleep before she starts her psychology studies. Chris throws a gang sign and goes back to his eyebrows. Somewhere in the flat, Jace knocks Sarah's block off.

End scene.
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Nannar's coffin is propped in the corner. Sarah films a TikTok about keeping flies off with Caesar Dressing, and shouts at 25yr old Jace to stop using 21yr old Aurora as a spoon to eat it off with. Chris texts Andrew Tate to ask again if he's had any luck tracking down Isla (who escaped 10 years ago using a 'trip to Dubai Mall' as a ruse, hiding in a Starbucks until everyone had left for the night), but Andrew Tate doesn't reply.
Chris can't understand why his fellow Top G doesn't want to help.
Esmee screams "TEEEEEEEEA" from upstairs. Everyone* dashes to make her a cup of tea, because the £10 she earns a month on TikTok is what keeps the family going, and nobody wants to annoy her.
*Except Jace, who is busy tearing apart the dog while Sarah giggles about 'how cute' he is.
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Shell777 said:
there’s been an awful lot of references to having another baby or hints dropped regarding babies

I could put mone on it big saz is gonna spit another kid out because it’s all they’ve got for content now - imagine having to have sex with chris Ingham 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

😳😳😳😳
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I don't know if she does this a lot, with no baby appearing, but I totally agree.
All this baby talk!
I wonder if they think they'll get their views back with a new baby, and all the scans/tests/emergencies etc that will no doubt be involved.
"PREGNANCY IN DANGER - Sarah knocks her elbow"
 
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One more comment regarding her slop, now my husband has spoken. And what I mean by that is he has only ever cooked for me THREE times in our 17 years together. And each time I had to call in sick to work the next day. So he is no one to comment on anyones cooking.

But I handed him my phone with her Tik Tok about to play and asked him to watch and tell me if he would eat the monstrosity that was about to unfold before his eyes. Started off with a 'veg, yeah course I would', then 'scissors? To cut chicken'?, then a gasp as she threw in the 15 bulbs of chopped garlic. At that point it was a 'no I would not with all that garlic'. But told him to continue watching. Then watched his shocked face as he gasped 'what the duck' when she threw in the dressing, followed by him handing my phone back saying 'that is just VILE' as she poured on the barbecue sauce.

So there you have it Fat Saz. This is from a man who had beans with a chicken curry when I left him to cook for himself one night. And Spag bol with fish fingers and ketchup on another. Your poor kids insides must be crying for some nutrition
 
StrangeAsAngels said:
Isla: reached 25, and decided to get away. Still visits, but very sparingly. Works in Boots. Has a little flat filled with pets, and makes faceless slime videos as a hobby, a trend that recently came back. Prefers to scooter everywhere.

Esme: still lipsyncs to songs. Never got to see Taylor Swift, even though she is still touring. Mostly spends her free time snorting retinol and practicing grimaces in front of the mirror. Is her mother's full time caregiver. Getting her teeth fixed soon. Has a car but you are not allowed to see it. Not because it doesn't exist. Shut up. You don't know nuthin.

Sarah: after her appearance on My 600lb Life, she managed to get down to 450lbs but gained it all back after Chris threatened to leave her for Dr. Nowzaradan. She only leaves the house on Nannar's payday (you are correct, Nannar is alive and kicking, preserved by cigs and the new anti aging formaldehyde/collagen cream Esme shop lifted while visiting Isla at work) and her latest passion is her amazing hun home business, selling the hot new craze sweeping the nation, BLACK DOT toenail tattoos.

Jace: in and out of prison. Mostly for stealing cars and stalking, and once for knocking his father's block off (nobody noticed). Hasn't been able to recover from the jailhouse haircut he got when he got sent to juvie, and now keeps his hair long at all times. Wears a vintage primark beanie from his father's collection to cover up his bald crown. Getting his eyes fixed soon. Isn't allowed within 1000ft of cars (or schools).
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Brilliant thank you , much more entertaining than the actual Ingrams !!

I think Isla would be happy with that life !!

I was snorting at “ snorting retinol “ 😂

Tomorrow can we have Izzy , Jane and Katrina pleeeeease !! Thanks a vey lot x
 
Yes we all believe social butterfly Isabelle was out until 3am. If she was at a friend's after golf, why not just sleep there rather than getting a taxi at 3am and having to message your creepy stepdad to let you in. Isabelle seemed awfully chipper for someone who'd been out till 3am.

Lazy said she didn't take Jace and Mila to the shops because it was too hot, so why did poor Aurora have to go?
Oh dear we had the joy of seeing Chrish in his vest again. 🤢🤑
 
Colin The Caterpillar said:
Lazy mare can't even chop an onion or garlic!
Buying prechopped onion or garlic (unless it's frozen) is a waste of money, as you don't know when it was chopped - and it probably honks to high heaven (boring science bit - when you chop onions you release enzymes which, after time, react with the amino acids in the onion, creating that horrible 'old onion' smell. It doesn't taste good either.)

Interestingly, this is how I imagine Chrish smells.
Old onion, moob sweat, and unwashed hair.
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I had hotdogs tonight as I was too hot to cook and first time I used frozen chopped onion. Says cook from frozen but was absolutely rank 🤢
 
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