LEAVING ON A CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY! 
Lazy screeches about vlogmas. They’re off away for the weekend. She’s been having an in depth conversation with Aurora about how this is her second trip away from the house at only six weeks old. Creepstopher is looking at
Tinder his phone and ignoring her. Lazy clears her throat and then blames Mila for giving her and Aurora colds by sneezing in their faces. She doesn’t know if Aurora can have paracetamol as she isn’t sure if she’s over 4 kilos. She’s becoming so cute and alert. She’s the smiliest girl in the whole world and has started cooing. Aurora looks at Lazy with confusion as she tells her to say “cheese”. They’re not giving her anything. No one has fevers, just runny noses. Esmé hasn’t been downstairs today. The health visitor is coming next week. Aurora is still in newborn and up to one month but a few first sizes too.
Lazy needs to clean Mila’s face. She’s playing with a roll of wrapping paper. Lazy asks her if she’s going to pick it up. She doesn’t. King JaceBrat boasts that he can pick it up with one hand. Lazy says he’s so strong. Mila tries to jump and get the wrapping paper but he holds it out of her reach. He doesn't want to be called Jace River. He pushes Mila away. Finally she gets her hands on the wrapping paper.
Driving to rap music. The Inghams arrive in Birmingham “birming-hum”. They’re at a cute little house. The kids are excited to show Lazy the bedrooms they’ve chosen. First though she shows us the cute little kitchen. Creepstopher unlocks the door to the conservatory and Jace says he’ll test it first. He jumps onto the sofa. Cute little living room. Creepstopher has hold of baby Sack of Potatoes.
The way he holds her makes me think she’s too heavy for his weak little tyrannosaurus arms. They’re like the diet water; utterly useless.
Isla breathlessly takes Lazy into her bedroom. Jacey has been jumping on her bed. Jace and Mila are sharing a room. She chooses her bed. Bathroom. Jace is washing his hands. The final bedroom is Esmé and Isla’s. They’re off to the Christmas market but have missed the train ride. After telling Mila she doesn’t need to wash her hands, Lazy helps her wash them. Her chuldren are obsessed with washing their hands.
Jace had to bring the entire contents of his toy box in his suitcase. After having a nap with Aurora, the Inghams are heading off to the Christmas market. They’re there for a couple of nights. They’re 20 minutes from the town centre.
The Inghams have bagged a prime spot up the hill to the left. It was drizzling when they left but now it’s really raining. Lazy and Aurora are feeling rough so they’re not dragging anyone outside to the Christmas market. Lazy has her tits out in the car. They’re driving around to food places for dinner. They’ve got a boss day tomorrow at the Bullring and then they’re off to the market. They’ll be window shopping because Creepstopher will tell them they can’t buy anything. He did a deal with Lazy on the way down. They’ll firm it tonight. She’s trying to squeeze another ton out of him. Lazy pipes up that they know their banter. Everyone will be asking if she has to do a deal to get money off her own husband from a shared bank account. Creepstopher has a smirk on his face that I want to slap off with a mouldy tuna fish. He says she’d have an overdraft and constantly be in the red. They’re going to another city for another Christmas market after this. It’s a mini travel series.
Shots of the kids. Christmas lights. They end up in Five Guys. They’ve had their Vlogmas intro delivered and there’s only one edit that needs to be made; the music.
Free weight loss surgery courtesy of photoshop. Sarah 38lean. Shots of Five Guys food. Mila dances. Milkshakes. Lazy has her tits out again.
The Inghams are back at the Air BnB. They went to Spar on the way home. Lazy found Hot Mama gerkins on the way out at the till. Hot wife tries the Hot Mama. It tastes like a rubber boot. Her throat is seizing up and she cannot swallow.
Is that what happens when she tries to eat a salad?
Creepstopher tries the pickle. He begins to sweat. Hot Mama tastes rancid. He gags and says he needs a drink. Lazy loves the conservatory, one of her favourite rooms in the house. This is one of the best Air BnBs they’ve ever stayed in. She can imagine the windows being open in the summer. It’s cosy and nice, absolutely lovely.
Time to watch I’m a Celeb. Lazy has been really enjoying it.
Doing her homework for when tenkaday goes tits up. They have a really fun day planned for tomorrow. Lazy does a few facial expressions for Creepstopher’s thumbnails. She admits she looks like a dick. Cackling. She wonders what the
duck she’s doing. Bleeped out naughty words.
I think she’s drunk. Creepstopher is doing laps of the living room whilst filming himself.
End of vlog
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