The Chateau Diaries #339 Forget Elf on the Shelf we have Twat in a Hat

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Lochness Monster said:
Does it say Diesel in the petrol cap? Even worse…

Snorts is so pleased with his squirrel..

Mummy in the background despairing.
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Yep, let's hope it's sucked all the shite from the bottom of the tank up.

Last nights effort was a real two fingers up to the blind faithful.

It was a, 'here's your decorating Lalande vlog, we've had your money now duck off!'
 
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MARIE Caroline Laurent...
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"eyes wide shut"
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MARIE Wiik...
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FRK and BJJ May 22 (2).jpg


MARIA Sidorova...
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Pyke said:
Fanny had to buy new Christmas Trees as last year's are lost, or half the branches are missing, no one at the dump would put them away carefully labelled OR they are right at the back of the storage containers and cannot be reached without emptying junk in front.
Click to expand...
Took the very words out of my mouth….plus who leaves the yellow label concerning fire risk etc hanging from the Branches. ALL NEW NEW NEW!! I use her posts to get my adrenaline flowing . The Lies are just beyond…….!
 
Ìs Sultana one of the Patreon donors. That makes extremely large donations every month to the dump.?
2 hours ago
That's a $,2,000 plus Petrossian hamper ! wow ! so generous !

Examples of mix and match items for baskets. I think 5 star Fanny did receive up to $2,000 in products from this company. caviar spoons included. No wonder the “presents” were made a centerpiece of a CD video.

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@cyngibson950
14 minutes ago
Giving dear Galahad treats with medicine is a bad idea. Please don’t. His dog food should do.

CecileBergeron
31 minutes ago
Isn't the heating system working yet?
---
Here is one of the $500+ trees Stephanie purchased for her Château DIY filming. i’m not sure if the trees were on sale in early November, 2024. The three trees purchased by Stephanie would total around $1500+ if not on sale and on sale around $1200+. One of the trees was a spruce tree? None of them were very pretty. What happened to the 5 to 6 Christmas tree she purchased last year? Too lazy to get into the attic and bring them back down? The Amanda and Lincoln Christmas video was spot on With a person similar to fill up with a dog under its arm, unable to lift a Christmas tree. They must be clairvoyant.

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IMG_2546.png
 
Last edited:
graciemckitten said:
Ìs Sultana one of the Patreon donors. That makes extremely large donations every month to the dump.?
2 hours ago
That's a $,2,000 plus Petrossian hamper ! wow ! so generous !

Examples of mix and match items for baskets. I think 5 star Fanny did receive up to $2,000 in products from this company. caviar spoons included. No wonder the “presents” were made a centerpiece of a CD video.

View attachment 3310124 qView attachment 3310125 q


@cyngibson950
14 minutes ago
Giving dear Galahad treats with medicine is a bad idea. Please don’t. His dog food should do.

CecileBergeron
31 minutes ago
Isn't the heating system working yet?
Click to expand...

I wonder how much of that stuff will be wasted, as you know not one bit of it is actually appreciated.

It's taken for granted that the gifts keep on rolling in from these daft high tier patreons.
 
annieterminetschuppon7232
3 hours ago
If you want true caviar, petrosian is the only place to go. My favourite is sevruga but you need to be used of extreme sea smell (although, not bad). Considering the price, that caviar should only be served to connoisseurs. Petrosian is as well having true wilde salmon which is not orangy like bad / chemical/ dangerous salmon

greenspot2820
2 hours ago
I hope no more Pedigree dog food.

WTF?
@juliehardy7510
3 hours ago
I wonder if Prague ratters have sensitive stomachs because of eating poisoned food over generations or if they were used to detect small amounts of poison?


@CAROLECOOK-v3m
3 hours ago
Does the Peacock poo affect the paint work of the car and why no heating


@ronaldodasilva9402
3 hours ago
I know this is random but in the near future Stephanie, would you mind doing a video of you going through all the projects that you have going on in and around the chateau (heating, grand salon, lake, terrac etc.) and give us a run down of where they are at and why some are possibly on the back burner for the moment. Would highly appreciate it, love from South Africa


@christinemilligan9158
4 hours ago
I hope Galihads treats aren't making him sick.We have a chiwawa her tummy is so sensitive to different foods.

KG-ui7ji
5 hours ago
It will be those xmas biscuits that are upsetting Galahads stomach guys!
emoji_u1f928.png



@lindsayblundall8140
5 hours ago
Our dog occasionally gets an upset tummy, I buy pro kaolin from Amazon or Pets at Home now rather than expensive vets visit. But a bit of live yoghurt would be good as well.

quidditchmum
5 hours ago
Just a tip. I also have a dog with a sensitive stomach. In addition to special food, you really should consider the treats you give him


@LizelleGrobler
6 hours ago
Sultana has a heart of gold. Wish she gets the opportunity to visit Lalande soon. 🪻
emoji_u1f490.png
🪻 🇿🇦


@AnnEC-fw7lo
6 hours ago
Why hasn't Amaury finished the floor in the workshop?

jennywillow9850
6 hours ago
I'm imagining Gerry and Brian in the same room telling jokes. Heaven or hell depending on your tastes!!
emoji_u1f600.png



@presley_yt
7 hours ago
Does Sir Galahad only get an upset tummy when you have been away? There are some flower essences (completely natural) that could help him along with the probiotics



@christine2023
7 hours ago
What a fun vlog! I hope Galahad will be okay. My cat gets stressed and sick when I go away, I wondered if it could be stress for the little pup too.

PamelaNewton-Walker
6 hours ago
Interesting vlog, based in the chateau and the folk residing there. Enjoyed it a lot. Not keen on the travel ones at all, just my choice. I’ve also wondered about the heating ‘issue’ seems a LONG time ago it was started, even for France red tape seems overly long. Patrons aren’t the only ones who watch, how about keeping everyone aware of how things are progressing ?


@carolinehops
7 hours ago
Do they really eat all that array of foods?
 
@Jackolantern83
9 hours ago
It’s a shame the heating is still not working! Poor Nattie looked almost blue. Maybe you should stop shopping at Fortune and Masons and going on endless holidays and start prioritising the chateau and the people who live and work in it.


🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 is the red tape actually an investigation of the death of the dump? orange fencing still up. More lies from pathological liar Stephanfraudie

@TheChateauDiaries

2 hours ago
That would make no difference to the state of our heating, which is 90% paid for already, so luckily all futures funds can go to the grand salon and terrace. We’re just stuck in red tape
---
SandraPaiz-t1d
9 hours ago
WHY was a laugh when harold said that CHRISTMAS is about JESUS ? that was very RUDE and INRESPECTFUL liked or NOT CHRISTMAS is about JESUS CRIST

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮😂🤮🤮
@TheChateauDiaries

2 hours ago
Gerry is very religious and attend mass every week, but he was joking that he’d forgotten about Jesus and only mentioned presents. That’s why everyone was laughing. It was a joke
---
Hope-sf3dk
9 hours ago
no biscuits for puppy; no kibble, no cans....boiled chicken, eggs, raw chicken necks and fresh offal.. and a dollop of yoghurt as a treat every day. make small batches and fridge or freeze portions.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮loser Philip dump account. Dog abuser/ dog killer replies
@carolinehops
8 hours ago
I would not recommend raw meats,it can be full of bacteria and can affect dogs as much as it would humans..



@stillkicking2445
11 hours ago (edited)
a rose bud in November? It’s the middle of December….what is the time lag of the videos….


🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
@TheChateauDiaries

2 hours ago
I’ve only got a two day lag on the videos, but my brain appears to operating on a month long lag
emoji_u1f92f.png
 
Last edited:
graciemckitten said:
annieterminetschuppon7232
3 hours ago
If you want true caviar, petrosian is the only place to go. My favourite is sevruga but you need to be used of extreme sea smell (although, not bad). Considering the price, that caviar should only be served to connoisseurs. Petrosian is as well having true wilde salmon which is not orangy like bad / chemical/ dangerous salmon

greenspot2820
2 hours ago
I hope no more Pedigree dog food.

WTF?
@juliehardy7510
3 hours ago
I wonder if Prague ratters have sensitive stomachs because of eating poisoned food over generations or if they were used to detect small amounts of poison?


@CAROLECOOK-v3m
3 hours ago
Does the Peacock poo affect the paint work of the car and why no heating


@ronaldodasilva9402
3 hours ago
I know this is random but in the near future Stephanie, would you mind doing a video of you going through all the projects that you have going on in and around the chateau (heating, grand salon, lake, terrac etc.) and give us a run down of where they are at and why some are possibly on the back burner for the moment. Would highly appreciate it, love from South Africa


@christinemilligan9158
4 hours ago
I hope Galihads treats aren't making him sick.We have a chiwawa her tummy is so sensitive to different foods.

KG-ui7ji
5 hours ago
It will be those xmas biscuits that are upsetting Galahads stomach guys! View attachment 3310139 q


@lindsayblundall8140
5 hours ago
Our dog occasionally gets an upset tummy, I buy pro kaolin from Amazon or Pets at Home now rather than expensive vets visit. But a bit of live yoghurt would be good as well.

quidditchmum
5 hours ago
Just a tip. I also have a dog with a sensitive stomach. In addition to special food, you really should consider the treats you give him


@LizelleGrobler
6 hours ago
Sultana has a heart of gold. Wish she gets the opportunity to visit Lalande soon. 🪻View attachment 3310140 q🪻 🇿🇦


@AnnEC-fw7lo
6 hours ago
Why hasn't Amaury finished the floor in the workshop?

jennywillow9850
6 hours ago
I'm imagining Gerry and Brian in the same room telling jokes. Heaven or hell depending on your tastes!!View attachment 3310141 q


@presley_yt
7 hours ago
Does Sir Galahad only get an upset tummy when you have been away? There are some flower essences (completely natural) that could help him along with the probiotics



@christine2023
7 hours ago
What a fun vlog! I hope Galahad will be okay. My cat gets stressed and sick when I go away, I wondered if it could be stress for the little pup too.

PamelaNewton-Walker
6 hours ago
Interesting vlog, based in the chateau and the folk residing there. Enjoyed it a lot. Not keen on the travel ones at all, just my choice. I’ve also wondered about the heating ‘issue’ seems a LONG time ago it was started, even for France red tape seems overly long. Patrons aren’t the only ones who watch, how about keeping everyone aware of how things are progressing ?


@carolinehops
7 hours ago
Do they really eat all that array of foods?
Click to expand...

Dogs need to be fed the correct food and have a routine, I have with all the dogs I've ever had. I've a friend who's own words were 'I'm not having my life governed by the dogs' and who's dogs are neurotic and have digestive problems?

She/they never took notice of all the warnings about Lancelot, why will they be any different this time. I have zero faith in them continuing with the special food as it's more than likely going to be a lifelong thing. We all know that spending cash on anything other than themselves is a no go. Sadly, like Lancelot, I believe we have another half price puppy which has been bought with existing health issues.

........and as for this stupid question

@ronaldodasilva9402
3 hours ago
I know this is random but in the near future Stephanie, would you mind doing a video of you going through all the projects that you have going on in and around the chateau (heating, grand salon, lake, terrac etc.) and give us a run down of where they are at and why some are possibly on the back burner for the moment. Would highly appreciate it, love from South Africa


Ronald, have you got about an hour or so to spare, as I don't even think she knows how many half arsed attempts have been started and never completed. Also more to the point, she doesn't give a toss either!

In fact Ron she'll probably be over your way soon on another one of her (such a drag, I've been on soooo many) Safaris, so track her down and ask her face to face.
 
ComtesseRose said:
Congratulations @Freesia54 for naming the thread, and @Lady Avonlea for naming it. I hope twit is not to strong a swear word to be included in the thread title.

Most Liked Posts from the previous thread




Jules100
VIP Member
Friday at 5:22 PM

Florida Tartlet Dayz 2024 was wonderful. It was so much fun and almost surreal to meet the other ladies in real life. @mrsp67, @Balmoral and @T Rex, thank you for including me. A special shout out to Stephanie Jarvis for making it all possible, it’s the best thing she’s ever done. @mrsp67 was an amazing host and her sammich shop has really good food. I had the best Italian salad ever, chef’s kiss.

When we all first met, we of course signed a no kidnap / no murder contract as one does in these types of situations. Lots of good food, gossip and gifts. If I would have known about it a little sooner, I would have had my Zazzle store produce bespoke coasters for the ladies with their TL profile avatars. Next time.

Here are a few pics from our meet up. I’ll probably put them in my next CD TL newsletter, so be on the lookout.
A709AF95-C8CB-4B2E-843E-DFA5BBAB8F9F.jpeg


@mrsp67 used to be such a CD superfan, at one point, she actually planted a lovely traditional jardin anglais in the back of her restaurant with her own two hands. Eat your heart out Stephanie. Her peacocks, Marie Antoinette and Selmar are so beautiful, but they did poop all over my car. Her pet hedgehog, Lil’ Philip Janssen, is quite the snuggle bear if you can catch him.
11F818BB-9806-44C4-93A7-5685D6A1C397.jpeg


I can’t wait until Florida Tartlet Dayz 2025.❤

Reactions:You, StephaniesSupportConsort, Ginginger and 57 others



Iolair
VIP Member
Dec 2, 2024
I've just had a quick glance through Vinted's Advent Calendars, and I don't believe for one moment that she found a Wedgwood Calendar on there. Apart from a few exceptions, such as Clarins and Mac, it's mostly junk, with most prices hovering around the £5.95 mark. Selfidges have the same Wedgwood one for £850.00. Judging by the type of calendars for sale on Vinted, it's utterly ludicrous to think that's where it came from. She's lying. Of course she's lying, it so obvious. I shouldn't have expected anything else from her. Lying is her stock in trade.

Reactions:You, MojoDublin, Ginginger and 40 others


graciemckitten
VIP Member
Saturday at 5:23 PM
The first 3 minutes of the Amanda and Lincoln video are are truly a masterpiece in shade. Awesome!


  • Lincoln holding a small brown stuffed dog ( named Chardonnay) in a sweater like loser Philip. Amanda as Stephanie stiffly petting the dog on top of its head.
  • Amanda guzzling from a bottle of wine / champagne
  • Amanda has extremely long fake black fingernails while using a mallet
  • Amanda wearing lots of huge diamond rings while using a mallet and unable to hammer a nail.
  • IMG_2521.png
  • All of our animals are special. Fluffy the cat walking on the piano is a concert pianist ( like Snorts, a pianist). (Special animals like a Prague ratter …….. what kind of dog do you have? A Prague rattler )
  • IMG_2522.png
  • Amanda and Lincoln frantically waving from on the front of the chateau ( Stephanie crazily waving goodbye to people, leaving the Dump).
  • After stating that they are very, very, very, down to earth, hands on DIYers , Lincoln with the dog under his arm, tries pick up a small tree and then complains it’s too heavy and puts it down
  • Talked about scouring the world for pieces of art like the priceless piece below. ( bearing a striking resemblance to the gruesome twosome.)
  • IMG_2516.png
  • even though we are multi-millionaires many times over, we've decided to fund our Chateau Renovations ( showing a plane in the video )
    by selling these rare beautiful leaves from our Chateau Park you donate a minimum of 8,000 and we'll write your
    name on a leaf throw them into the air connecting you to this special piece of
    the French Countryside forever.
  • IMG_2523.png

    IMG_2517.png
  • Amanda holding the stuffed dog and a glass of wine, showing the camera, the donkeys : these are our horses but we don't know their names because they haven't told us . are we supposed to feed them ? I don't know, but they'd probably like some wine and pie the donkeys a glass of wine.
  • Amanda walking while waving her hands, “ we employ a staff of 157 people although I don't know where they are right now.
    fris Jean Luke . oh I don't know they've all disappeared and it doesn't matter.”
    they're all hideous creatures anyway and we make them wear sacks over their heads ( tee hee Baghead).
  • we also employ a garden design team of 37 and A2 and they've been painstakingly
    recreating what the orchard looked like after the big storm of 1637 and it took
    them years to get these trees to grow sideways like this. ( see below next to fallen tree).
  • IMG_2518.png
  • Simply beautiful. The harvest in the basket below.
  • IMG_2519.png
  • People often ask us how we deal with a language barrier. it's very simple. we refuse to speak French. it's
    completely beneath us. the French need to learn how to speak American I mean everyone should speak American right so
    we just point and Grunt and wave our hands until someone gets get so annoyed with us they have to wait on
  • this is a sculpture of my husband had commissioned by the famous artist me ah hi mecah hiney ho . Sculpture of husband below
    it was only 666,000 and it obviously Bears a striking resemblance to him. It represents his deep connection to the
    dead branches and the earth and the weeds and whatever. (Fantastic Stephanie bullshit out of her ass explanation).

    IMG_2520.png



  • @suzyq555
    16 hours ago
    OMG,!!!!! Freaking hilariousssssssssssss

  • @VintageLPs
    8 hours ago
    Those awful nails were the perfect touch!

  • @ginny736
    3 hours ago
    The nails and the 10 carat ring
  • ch-ZqgLZPIkor9aIZ0ZkFMjg=s88-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj.jpg

    @gjsgjs7537
    16 hours ago
    All those staff, I knew you couldn't be doing it all yourself

  • @beciaaus2811
    16 hours ago
    The leaves with names? Priceless
  • 0OlXb_jd51UELbUD0ffN3J3e=s88-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj.jpg

    @faeryvixenetc
    7 hours ago
    reminds me of another chatelaine that will remain nameless... something something stars...

  • @annbrosnan8586
    1 hour ago
    @faeryvixenetc my thoughts exactly! It was brilliant satire if you ask me!
  • MAC-op5fc
    15 hours ago
    You both are nuts - in the best possible way! Architectural Digest's loss. I hope the horses tell you their names soon

Last edited: Saturday at 5:41 PM
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Madame de Pompanddoodoo
VIP Member
Dec 1, 2024
Oh how bloody convenient that AnneMarie has to demolish the bedroom walls before the beam can be replaced and then just as he was about to start his FIRST piece of work this year he has an unfortunate accident. What a total load of bullshit comes out of her mouth every time she opens it. The only positive to this is that it must take her a lot of time plotting the next moves to keep ahead of total exposure which would show her as the lying defrauder she is. One can live in hope that this continual ducking and diving to cover up her trail of lies causes her unbearable stress, it hasn’t happened yet but surely it can’t be too far off.

How long can the Chapel remain unfinished, the heating remain unfinished, the big room remain unfinished, the back passage remain unfinished, the kitchen remain untouched, the boot room remain untouched, the bread oven room remain untouched, mummy dear and the walking shroud‘s room remain unfinished, the Jardin Anglaise remain unfinished, the fountain remain unfinished, the facade remain untouched, the terrace and steps remain untouched, the boiler room remain unfinished, AnneMarie’s workshop remain unfinished, her bedroom and adjacent office remain unfinished, the attic bedrooms remain unfinished, the attic bathrooms remain unfinished, the attic itself remain unfinished, the chicken house remains unfinished, the lake remain untouched. I’m sure there must be other endeavours that have been started but never finished that I have missed along the way. Maybe the weight of carrying on with all these lies will wear Fanny down but then again why should it when the money keeps on pouring in allowing her to indulge her passion for buying pretty things be it clothes, jewellery or objects for the shittoo.

Reactions:You, MojoDublin, Lucy borgia and 40 others

As always. Thank you all for contributing
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#FreeGalahad
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China pantry?
 
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