The Chateau Diaries #317 Patreon Day - Same ol' crap, same sad people, same dull tour

[brassy]

Someone commented that Fanny couldn't have done Patron days without Marie and Julie's catering work. "Sparrowdean" or whatever the name of that incarnation of Fanny is, reacted angrily saying it was a stupid thing to say as previous patron days had been catered well by other people. Fanny clearly thinks praise of Marie, etc is suggesting that she is incapable of doing it herself. I don't think the original commenter was implying that at all, s/he was just trying to praise Marie. Fanny dislikes anyone praising other people. She has to be the star of the show herself and is very jealous of others receiving adulation. She has reacted in a similar way to other recent comments about Marie working hard, and said that Marie is a paid employee. What a really nasty piece of work she is and she's showing her real character hiding behind another fictional name. Don't trust that woman, Marie; she is not your friend.

Listening to Amaury's spiel, he still seems to be suffering from breathing problems. If I were Chantal or Natti, I'd be very concerned about him. It's time he stopped smoking. He seemed to suffer from a lot of chesty problems in the past but he still clearly has some problems. Let's hope he didn't catch anything from Percy.

Yup thats how Fanny rolls.. to the point if there are no comments about her.. she will log in to her fake accounts and self praise. all by her little bed ridden self... padded cell pending..

 

[Beachgirl]

I can imagine having to say "these are my boundaries" to Scotman...
And it would include "don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't breathe in my general direction, don't be in the same room as me, house as me, on the same street as me," right up to (and including) "don't be on the same planet as me." I can imagine Stuart having the same conversation with Shrek, and sometimes imagination can lead down some truly uncomfortable paths.

If that were me I’d go straight for a Glasgow kiss.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I'm still not convinced Amuay is staying. If he's stupid enough to stay and waste the next few years of his life then he needs to have his balls cut off and we can start calling him Eunuch.

Too late!!! Natzi needed a new coin purse!!!

 

[Beachgirl]

Good advice from T Rex, try not to overwhelm yourself too much.

If you want a laugh, you need to take a look on some French estate agency sites and see some of the absolute horrors. Laundry rooms with clothes on the floor, unmade beds, kitchens with washing up in the sink and just general untidyness.

Sounds like my house when my son is around
---

Well, we have improved today up to ...a giant 16C..and then it will go back down to 11C once more ...
Even my MIL in Trondheim has more sun and warmth then we had in the UK
---

Or, maybe he does ...

I really think you should move a little further south. While it is overcast and yes we’ve had lots of rain it is still tee shirt weather and most days around 21/22 degrees.
---

When I sold my previous home, the realtor would bake chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies about 30 minutes before an open house. It sold during the second open house. Admittedly it was a fabulous craftsman in almost original condition.

We had just finished doing up our previous house and not thinking of moving when during a dog walk one day I saw one of the houses in the road I wanted to live up for sale. I don’t know how I got my then husband agree to just see it but we did and loved it. It was a Sunday and the estate agent followed us back to our then house, around 5 minute walk away where we decided to sell. By 1130am the next day our house had sold and by 2pm our offer was accepted on this current house. Now it’s my turn to sell and downsize.

 

[Miss Trunchbull]

IDoNotBelieveMarieCookedThePatreonDazeBuffet
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Note the only platter with flowers on is the salmon teriyaki….

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Sounds like my house when my son is around
---

I really think you should move a little further south. While it is overcast and yes we’ve had lots of rain it is still tee shirt weather and most days around 21/22 degrees.
---

We had just finished doing up our previous house and not thinking of moving when during a dog walk one day I saw one of the houses in the road I wanted to live up for sale. I don’t know how I got my then husband agree to just see it but we did and loved it. It was a Sunday and the estate agent followed us back to our then house, around 5 minute walk away where we decided to sell. By 1130am the next day our house had sold and by 2pm our offer was accepted on this current house. Now it’s my turn to sell and downsize.

Amazing how as we mature, having less to take care of becomes very appealing. In preparing your current home to show, bear in mind Desmond Tutu’s advice for any seemingly overwhelming task. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

[Kickintheass]

Regarding selling houses. If you haven't yet decided on an agent and they are definitely not all the same, have a look at their websites and the quality of photos they put up. My pet hate is the open toilet seat/lid. Also what they promise to do, selling price the expect, and how much they charge, fixed price or percentage. A decade ago when we were selling and I offered the agent a teaser, I would pay a slightly increased percentage of the price over an agreed ceiling so the better price achieved made it more interesting. Viewers will have already seen your online photos so they are already interested if they come to view.

In Ireland asking prices are really an offers over (Scotland may be similar) I think UK is more who can pay nearest to asking and chains are more of an issue.

You are trying to sell the dream, so clean, bright (even in daylight agents turn in side lights) and uncluttered. If it means living without some furniture for a while (borrow someone's garage). If the seller hadn't enough storage space for their belongings then the buyer thinks they won't also.

 

[Imperious Me]

"This Foreo feels furry and smells like corn chips!" This weeks sponsor, Foreo, was brought to you by Lancelot de LaLande... and conjunctivitis!

I'd love to see the factory this new Foreo gadget was made in, bet she put it straight on her face out of the box
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This. Why do they feel the need to feed an entire meal to these people? If it's not a proper sit down meal, then just pass drinks and nibbles and interact with them. This rando buffet of strangers is awkward.

It's a time killer... If Fanny had to mingle and nibble with all those strangers, she'd take to her bed... just having them there bought out conjunctivitis!
---

These last two videos have bothered me a bit. Maybe it's because I work in fundraising at a non-profit cultural institution... I couldn't stand just how boring each activity seemed and all of the blank faces looking on as the staff talked and talked. Isn't this supposed to be their one big donor event of the year? If anything, it should push people to keep wanting to return each year and keep donating. Why aren't they cultivating relationships with their donors? I don't mean go out and be their friend but find out their interests, and talk to them about their thoughts and ideas. Instead, they're just repeating everything they've mentioned in their videos. Why should I attend patron days next year or the year after? We can all go to literally any city and get a tour of a random building. What makes lalande different? I think many viewers have always been more interested in seeing the parties they would throw and they'd likely appreciate a well-thought event that includes the aspects they're interested in. They could have very easily set up multiple round tables, decorated each of them, take the time to print out people's names on tent cards (super easy to do but makes it more personal), have the lalande main characters sit down at each table and get to know each person (cultivate the relationship), and then had some entertainment. For a bunch of people who always talk about the arts, they rarely seem to include it. Bring in local performers or something. At least it would come off as more personal and planned out. The best part is they can make it as casual or as formal as they'd like though it seemed like the guests were expecting more. I just can't imagine inviting some of the donors in my portfolio to an event and seeing them so underwhelmed. The other thing I couldn't stand was Stephanie turning each "activity" back to herself with the interruptions and jokes. I get she's the main character but there are other ways... Especially when your donors are being so quiet. Also, I am completely unimpressed about the food and wine situation.


Edit to add: Your patrons are on vacation. Make them feel like it. Make them see the worth of flying from wherever they are to visit you.

Yeah, no Maria playing the piano.. the kiddie art & craft table was embarrassing, 45 minutes Andie??? Holy smokes! And to listen to the affected Snorts drone on and on and on and on and.... "We, my, our, I, mine.." ... Amaury seems to have PSD this year... anxiety riddled mess poor guy... seemed to use his turn as a therapy session! Last year he was enthusiastic, engaged, informative of the future plans... poor guy, I felt badly for him. Wonder when the inquiry starts..

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Regarding selling houses. If you haven't yet decided on an agent and they are definitely not all the same, have a look at their websites and the quality of photos they put up. My pet hate is the open toilet seat/lid. Also what they promise to do, selling price the expect, and how much they charge, fixed price or percentage. A decade ago when we were selling and I offered the agent a teaser, I would pay a slightly increased percentage of the price over an agreed ceiling so the better price achieved made it more interesting. Viewers will have already seen your online photos so they are already interested if they come to view.

In Ireland asking prices are really an offers over (Scotland may be similar) I think UK is more who can pay nearest to asking and chains are more of an issue.

You are trying to sell the dream, so clean, bright (even in daylight agents turn in side lights) and uncluttered. If it means living without some furniture for a while (borrow someone's garage). If the seller hadn't enough storage space for their belongings then the buyer thinks they won't also.

It is also an excellent opportunity to see how downsizing works in a new home. I was truly surprised at what I could live without.

 

[Imperious Me]

I'm still not convinced Amuay is staying. If he's stupid enough to stay and waste the next few years of his life then he needs to have his balls cut off and we can start calling him Eunuch.

I think he needs to stay till the inquiry is finished, whether she knows it or not.. he talks of how he enjoys it, but his body language says different.. I think he's biding his time, and he seems to have free will to come and go as he sees fit since the 'accident'.

 

[Fromthenorth]

Sounds like my house when my son is around
---

I really think you should move a little further south. While it is overcast and yes we’ve had lots of rain it is still tee shirt weather and most days around 21/22 degrees.
---

We had just finished doing up our previous house and not thinking of moving when during a dog walk one day I saw one of the houses in the road I wanted to live up for sale. I don’t know how I got my then husband agree to just see it but we did and loved it. It was a Sunday and the estate agent followed us back to our then house, around 5 minute walk away where we decided to sell. By 1130am the next day our house had sold and by 2pm our offer was accepted on this current house. Now it’s my turn to sell and downsize.

I'm in the East of England, and yes we will be moving south when we sell the house in 4 years time, to Spain, we have had enough of the weather. We would stay here if it was not for the weather tbh.

 

[Bleu Lala]

These last two videos have bothered me a bit. Maybe it's because I work in fundraising at a non-profit cultural institution... I couldn't stand just how boring each activity seemed and all of the blank faces looking on as the staff talked and talked. Isn't this supposed to be their one big donor event of the year? If anything, it should push people to keep wanting to return each year and keep donating. Why aren't they cultivating relationships with their donors? I don't mean go out and be their friend but find out their interests, and talk to them about their thoughts and ideas. Instead, they're just repeating everything they've mentioned in their videos. Why should I attend patron days next year or the year after? We can all go to literally any city and get a tour of a random building. What makes lalande different? I think many viewers have always been more interested in seeing the parties they would throw and they'd likely appreciate a well-thought event that includes the aspects they're interested in. They could have very easily set up multiple round tables, decorated each of them, take the time to print out people's names on tent cards (super easy to do but makes it more personal), have the lalande main characters sit down at each table and get to know each person (cultivate the relationship), and then had some entertainment. For a bunch of people who always talk about the arts, they rarely seem to include it. Bring in local performers or something. At least it would come off as more personal and planned out. The best part is they can make it as casual or as formal as they'd like though it seemed like the guests were expecting more. I just can't imagine inviting some of the donors in my portfolio to an event and seeing them so underwhelmed. The other thing I couldn't stand was Stephanie turning each "activity" back to herself with the interruptions and jokes. I get she's the main character but there are other ways... Especially when your donors are being so quiet. Also, I am completely unimpressed about the food and wine situation.


Edit to add: Your patrons are on vacation. Make them feel like it. Make them see the worth of flying from wherever they are to visit you.

It’s obvious you are a professional.

I would like to add some of these people flew from another continent to be there and they do deserve more than a tour, a coloring book, jar of honey and a lunch. They didn’t drive across town.
These are the people that afford you your lifestyle it’s the least you could do.

also want to add and now she gets out of the clean up and tear down because she has pink eye!

 

[Imperious Me]

Note the only platter with flowers on is the salmon teriyaki….

I can only imagine Julie was chopping like a fiend as Marie went about slowly decorating... those massive hunks of pickled onion on the eggs looked a mess... Marie must have had a hand in the tomato arranging too...Why the hell does she think you need flowers all over a colourful tomato plate?

 

[Beachgirl]

Regarding selling houses. If you haven't yet decided on an agent and they are definitely not all the same, have a look at their websites and the quality of photos they put up. My pet hate is the open toilet seat/lid. Also what they promise to do, selling price the expect, and how much they charge, fixed price or percentage. A decade ago when we were selling and I offered the agent a teaser, I would pay a slightly increased percentage of the price over an agreed ceiling so the better price achieved made it more interesting. Viewers will have already seen your online photos so they are already interested if they come to view.

In Ireland asking prices are really an offers over (Scotland may be similar) I think UK is more who can pay nearest to asking and chains are more of an issue.

You are trying to sell the dream, so clean, bright (even in daylight agents turn in side lights) and uncluttered. If it means living without some furniture for a while (borrow someone's garage). If the seller hadn't enough storage space for their belongings then the buyer thinks they won't also.

Great points @kickingheass thank you. I dread getting into a chain which is stressful. My ex husband has suggested that I sell then rent a small flat so I will be a cash buyer and won’t have the stress of 2 chains collapsing.
---

It is also an excellent opportunity to see how downsizing works in a new home. I was truly surprised at what I could live without.

Are you talking about my 4 floor lamps and 19 table lamps. Or the framed rugby signed rugby shirts in the dining room. Not my idea they belong to my son and my ex put them there. I have a lovely mirror to put up instead.

 

[ploppityplop2]

I half wondered if there would be a sandwitch in those brown bags! Imagine Fanny thinking it's cute to give everyone a picnic lunch!

Slice of cheese with a whole white onion mmm

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

So Dan and Cat „powered by Lalande“ didn’t show up on any day?

Annelise also wasnt there. In the SOF with the boys?

 

[billybudd]

A friend of mine used to do this- it was so frigging clever and cute! I have tried, but the results were epic failures.

But you did get me thinking, as I started buying cute tartan tote bags from J Crew during the holidays to use as gift bags (they are sturdy, reusable, and cut down on paper waste)- Fanny has wardrobes full of beautiful fabric up in Narnia that will never see the light of day again and a very expensive fancy sewing machine. She could have literally (TM courtesy of Julie Montague ) set the machine up to embroider the CLL logo on the front panels for each bag whilst she edited vlogs, and sewed tote bags (which are pretty easy to do) as something inexpensive and thoughtful for her guests. But, that would have required Fanny or Snorts to actually DO something, and someone would eventually have to service the machine (as neither Fanny nor Sir Pranceypants can be arsed to do the basic witch maintenance of cleaning and oiling a sewing machine.)

The doing of nothing (clearing the attic of one bag of donatables?) while the octogenarians mow the lawn, no one weeds or waters the Jardin Anglais that the Patreons subsidized.....is the grift, man. Humiliating her family and patrons on camera is the grift.
As my narc said, when his partner and I arrived at his home to find a bird dead on the living room floor, where it had been for days (thank you, kitty!), I. Do. Not. Clean.
How Jarvis got pink eye, btw. Our dear departed @Jikki2's curse came true: She spontaneously combusted entering the chapel.

 

[brassy]

It’s obvious you are a professional.

I would like to add some of these people flew from another continent to be there and they do deserve more than a tour, a coloring book, jar of honey and a lunch. They didn’t drive across town.
These are the people that afford you your lifestyle it’s the least you could do.

also want to add and now she gets out of the clean up and tear down because she has pink eye!

The lack of elegance was astounding…. All that expensive porcelain and glassware and they sat under an old army style filthy canopy in rows like a School picnic… zero effort and all last minute as per usual!! Enjoy ur pink eye Fanny! The Gods have spoken!!!!

 

[C'est moi]

I feel terrible for Amaury. He is purposely made to look lazy by his cousin, when in fact she stalls all the construction/restoration projects and spends the allocated $$ on herself and her lazy Gayance. I am certain Amaury is capable of getting to work in a timely meaningful way- Steph stalls it and allows a DitchDropOut to boss him around on top of it. I really hope he quits and takes his bride to be with him. They are being treated like the former caretakers and absolutely disrespected. Time to move on.
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*DutchDropOut

I think DitchDropOut sounds so much better.

He looks exactly like something that dropped out of the ditch.
---

Um - bathroom water comes from the same pipes as kitchen water.

Yup. Here in France too. There are no loft holding tanks, it's all mains.

 

[brassy]

Um - bathroom water comes from the same pipes as kitchen water.

Yeh but u ain’t shitting in the kitchen…