Sober Curious tattlers support thread (Dry January and beyond!)

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I love booze. Unfortunately it no longer loves me. Drank the best part of a bottle of wine last night and I feel shocking. I also seem to have lost any ability to drink in moderation, especially at home. If the bottle is open then that is it.
I don’t think I’ll ever go completely dry - a glass of wine with dinner out, or a nice cold cider on a sunny day are life’s simple pleasures, but it’s time to bash the weekend bingeing on the head once and for all.
this is it....
 
I stopped drinking on 2nd of Jan and since then have only drank on a handful of occasions. I sleep better, look after myself better, feel less anxious, calmer. My idea is to stay a very occasional drinker rather than become teetotal. I’ve been worried I will slip back into old habits if I drank again but actually my tolerance has gone right down and I tend to stop after couple of glasses of wine.

Have really enjoyed the threads here and found them extremely supportive. Hope you are all doing ok!
 
Whatspopping said:
I haven't drank since late 2016. I've found that my social life has dwindled a bit, given a lot of invites were at local pubs or boozy house parties. I have certainly saved money and feel sharper but I often question whether I made the right decision to go sober.
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Oh that's really sad. Did you turn down invites because you didn't drink? Maybe your friends have assumed you won't want to go without booze? I have made it clear to people I still want to go to everything.

My husband went out last night, got home at some god awful time. He is still in bed and will no doubt be rough all day.

I'll admit I had a glass of wine last night but got a really early night and woke up so clear headed and happy. I have done some yoga and had a lovely brew and I am off to walk to the shops to get Mr Hungover some bacon to wake him up 🤣

I finished 'The unexpected joy of being sober' this week and I can highly recommend this book.
 
I am still going strong can't believe it but I have no desire to drink. Don't get me wrong the thought of a nice glass of red with Sunday lunch is lovely. I didn't drink all the time but was a binge drinker, once I had one I could carry on all night. Here is what I don't miss - Waking up in the middle of the night with a tongue dry as a flip flop thirsty as hell and numerous trips for a pee which resulted in a crap nights sleep. Worrying about what I had said and if I have upset anybody, a friend calls it beer fear. The hangover the day after that seemed to last for days the older I got. The brain fog and fatigue. The face and belly bloat. General health issues that you never put down to drinking. I was having heart palpitations that have since stopped. The promises you make to yourself that you never keep like I will never do that again. Worrying about driving the next day but still having one for the road. The list goes on and on........
Even if you don't give up and just moderate it will do you the world of good. There are great free Apps for your phone so you can track your drinks.
Good luck it's hard but if I can do it I am sure you can x
 
I went to a family bbq yesterday and i didn’t even get asked did I want a drink. Before I would of been ahhhh go on have oneeee, but think it’s been accepted now I’m on the tea train and I’m not getting off 🤣
Got up and was at the gym for 10am. The 29th is my SIL birthday so last year I can clearly recall feeling like a tit sandwich this day last year 🤣
 
This is such a great thread! I have three young children and so embarrassed to say I’ve fallen into the “mummy loves wine” cliche (although they are too young to say this, I’ve seen some cringe tictocs). I’ve stopped drinking during the week but honestly I am finding it hard. At what point are you actually classed as an alcoholic?
 
For me, I know I drank too much and that’s the reason I decided to cut down. It affected my sleep, energy levels, mood, anxiety, self-esteem, the list goes on.. was I an alcoholic? I rather believe anyone who drinks has some levels of alcohol dependency because alcohol is very addictive, in fact more addictive than nicotine for example. Having tried to moderate unsuccessfully on many occasions, it was actually much easier to take a long break of not drinking at all to start re-setting my brain. At the start I found it helpful to read a lot of quitting alcohol books. I’m now drinking very occasionally again but being watchful to not slip back into old habits. I’m open to the possibility of becoming teetotal if I’m not able to manage my drinking this way. Hope this helps :)
 
Shopgal said:
This is such a great thread! I have three young children and so embarrassed to say I’ve fallen into the “mummy loves wine” cliche (although they are too young to say this, I’ve seen some cringe tictocs). I’ve stopped drinking during the week but honestly I am finding it hard. At what point are you actually classed as an alcoholic?
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I think it's to do with needing a drink. I have never drunk in the morning, or ever really got into any serious trouble or danger due to being drunk but I did feel as though I couldn't do an evening without a drink. It had got to the point where if I had half a bottle of wine in then I would buy a second bottle to make sure I had a full bottle for the evening. I would plan to have a night off and then crack and go out for a bottle some time in the afternoon. So I don't think it was obvious that I was a problem drinker but I think I am an alcoholic.

I do think so much of it is cracking the habit, it was hard! So hard to get past that mindset but then it's just slowly faded and I've got used to the routine of not having a drink. For me the most amazing and important thing is that I used to long for the evening and having a drink, couldn't wait to get my son to bed and get the wine. Now I really love the mornings, I pop awake better rested (one day I will say well rested, can't wait for that day of my son sleeping perfectly.) I so look forward to my cup of tea, watching a bit of cbeebies. Occasionally I wake up first and manage to get stuff done, I'd made soup before 7 am the other day!! I feel like superwoman (and I'm definitely not) just because I'm not drinking! And it saves so much money!
 
Good on you! So good to hear! I’m in the can’t wait to get everyone to bed so I can have a drink stage. I’ve always liked a drink but it’s not even social now. Think it’s become a problem because if I have a night off I go way too hard and have missed out on a enjoying the day with my family before because I’ve been hungover. Need to start on the tea instead 😂
 
Like @HeeeeyDuggee, I never drank in the morning etc but couldn’t wait until wine o’clock 6pm to pour myself a glass. The funny thing is that when my daughter was little I made sure I never drank before she went to bed, but this became harder to achieve when her bedtime moved later. If I’m honest one of my main concerns with my drinking was that she was witnessing her mum with a glass most evenings and although I was never blind drunk/problem drinker, was worried she’d grow up thinking this is normal grown up behaviour. Since drastically cutting back, I feel I am a better person and a mum to be around, more patient and present. I found it useful to do something else at my ‘trigger’ times to start with, like exercise, take a bath, anything to get my mind off thinking of drinking. Also I love the act of having something to drink in the evenings so substituted the wine with cups of herbal tea which satisfies the feeling in the same way, but without the bad effects.
 
I need to get my head back in the game. I did really well jan-March then April I had a few days of drinking but then this month has been awful. I’ve been made redundant and used drink to chill out on an evening. I need to get back to that good feeling in jan when I felt great not drinking.
Might check out the books mentioned 👍🏻
 
I've just come back from a weeks holiday with my mother who is quite a toxic influence on me and usually doesn't take no for an answer when I refuse a drink. Her and her husband are big drinkers and drank every day of the holiday from 12 in the afternoon onwards. Some days they really were plastered. Watching it was quite triggering reminded me of being a child on holiday with my parents who were more often than not paralytic and did some very embarrassing things in front of us children.

I'm happy to say I put it out there day one I don't want a drink don't even bother asking me, and no one did!!!! I was shocked but very happy as I was worried about it the whole lead up as I really didn't want to start up again as I have found when I do start small it escalates quickly.
 
Littleelf said:
I've just come back from a weeks holiday with my mother who is quite a toxic influence on me and usually doesn't take no for an answer when I refuse a drink. Her and her husband are big drinkers and drank every day of the holiday from 12 in the afternoon onwards. Some days they really were plastered. Watching it was quite triggering reminded me of being a child on holiday with my parents who were more often than not paralytic and did some very embarrassing things in front of us children.

I'm happy to say I put it out there day one I don't want a drink don't even bother asking me, and no one did!!!! I was shocked but very happy as I was worried about it the whole lead up as I really didn't want to start up again as I have found when I do start small it escalates quickly.
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Well done, that is such an achievement. I have a similar situation with some of my family and I have not quite got to the point when I can say no completely but I have cut down to maybe one or two glasses and that's it.

You deserve to feel so proud of yourself and I am sorry it was so triggering xxx
 
Boredofthegram said:
I need to get my head back in the game. I did really well jan-March then April I had a few days of drinking but then this month has been awful. I’ve been made redundant and used drink to chill out on an evening. I need to get back to that good feeling in jan when I felt great not drinking.
Might check out the books mentioned 👍🏻
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Hey I'm sorry you have been made redundant. Must be stressful, and not surprising you are reaching for the bottle to help you relax. Hope you manage to get to your January vibe back 😊 It's tough to begin with. Taking a shower/ bath, brushing my teeth, lighting a candle, going to bed early, or staying up and having alcohol free beers all helped me. Hope you find new ways to relax and take your mind off things.
 
Prgirl_cesca said:
Well done, that is such an achievement. I have a similar situation with some of my family and I have not quite got to the point when I can say no completely but I have cut down to maybe one or two glasses and that's it.

You deserve to feel so proud of yourself and I am sorry it was so triggering xxx
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Thank you ❤
 
Didnt know where to post this so said I would put it here...does anyone follow this sober girl(Katie McNichol)?
Shes a sober influencer now at 10k so can have her own thread..
Anyway she in Bali, did anyone watch her stories yesterday, she said she ordered what she thought was a non alcoholic cocktail but it was marked on the receipt as a mojita...anyway long story short the bar staff ended up telling her they gave her the wrong receipt...

Thought it was funny as when she started the story I thought she sounded drunk.
 
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