Single by Choice

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Fledgling Psycho said:
@Chocolategoggler What's the name of the Irish lady with drill? I'd like to watch her videos. 😊
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Dainty Diaries. She's making less of them now. Has been talking about anxiety last year and going for therapy.
You could start by watching a get to know me video so you have her backstory in your mind i.e. how she got the house and furnished it. Otherwise you might just dismiss her as "a sweet little girl".

It would be best to watch from the beginning to see how she evolved to now - what a journey! Then you won't miss how the garden started, the gorgeous Blondie who was really her "supervisor", the travel vlogs and the "makes" videos - I defy you not to make at least one of these.
Then you might understand how she's ended up writing a book and being on Irish TV.
 
GiftedNotFree said:
Absolutely loved this article:

www.huffpost.com

I'm 70 And I've Lived Alone My Entire Adult Life. Here's What Everyone Gets Wrong About Single People.

"For people like me who are single at heart, the risk is not what we'll miss if we do not organize our lives around a romantic partner, but what we'll miss if we do."
www.huffpost.com

It resonated so much with my own thoughts on single hood.
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Thank you SO much for sharing!

"Single at Heart". What a great way to describe my life - even down to my obsession with Succession. I'm sharing this!
 
I can’t bring myself to use online dating. I just can’t. Sure, I think about it. I think about the kind of man I’d accept (see my posts on the dating thread). But if I’m honest with myself, I know that I am not prepared to “work for it” and that’s what online dating feels like to me. Putting myself into the frame of mind, that I “need to work hard to get love” is not good for the psyche on a subconscious level. I don’t need to work hard, because I am the love. I spent my entire twenties doing online dating, and quite frankly, ended up in a much worse state. I’d of been better off single. My mental health would have been in tact, and I would have gone much further in life, much sooner. I value my peace, and relationships have never provided me that.
 
I spent a lot of my 20s looking for a partner because I thought I had to and I also wanted to be a mum. At the age of 47 I have just managed to extricate myself from a 17 year extremely toxic relationship in which the only good thing I got out of is my daughter. Now I am in the position of using that awful clichéd phrase of trying to "find myself" my girl being of an age where she doesn't need me as much and I have time for me. I am not sure what to do with myself but I know with a deep certainty that I will never be in another relationship, I am so much happier with the freedom I have to live exactly how I want to. No compromise, no criticism, no pandering to others needs. I am excited about the future for the first time in forever!
 
Kezzle1 said:
I spent a lot of my 20s looking for a partner because I thought I had to and I also wanted to be a mum. At the age of 47 I have just managed to extricate myself from a 17 year extremely toxic relationship in which the only good thing I got out of is my daughter. Now I am in the position of using that awful clichéd phrase of trying to "find myself" my girl being of an age where she doesn't need me as much and I have time for me. I am not sure what to do with myself but I know with a deep certainty that I will never be in another relationship, I am so much happier with the freedom I have to live exactly how I want to. No compromise, no criticism, no pandering to others needs. I am excited about the future for the first time in forever!
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I am excited for you ❤️
 
GiftedNotFree said:
Absolutely loved this article:

www.huffpost.com

I'm 70 And I've Lived Alone My Entire Adult Life. Here's What Everyone Gets Wrong About Single People.

"For people like me who are single at heart, the risk is not what we'll miss if we do not organize our lives around a romantic partner, but what we'll miss if we do."
www.huffpost.com

It resonated so much with my own thoughts on single hood.
Click to expand...


Being single at heart means that we do not do what some people who become coupled do — demote our friends in order to prioritize a romantic partner....
We who are single at heart also have an expansive and inclusive approach toward intimacy and love.....We know that love is a great, big emotion that encompasses far more than just romantic love.

I think about this often! How much I love people in my life and want to spend time with them - and single people often aren't lonely because they have no partner, but because romantic relationships are always put on a pedestal and other relationships are demoted, which is sad. I do think the friends who seem happiest are the ones who still prioritise time with friends and time alone outside of their partners.

As time goes on, I keep changing what I'd want from a partner and now I don't think I'd want to live with a man again 😂 and my routines and hobbies and social life are important to me so they'd have to fit with that and not take priority lol

Olgivy said:
But if I’m honest with myself, I know that I am not prepared to “work for it”
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This is exactly how I feel! Friends expect you to want to actively date but I'm really not arsed enough about having a man to go through all the hassle, disruption of peace, and god-awful prospects for little return! If something happens organically, great, but otherwise I don't care enough to put in any more work and waste my precious time! This really baffles people for some reason 😂
 
Kezzle1 said:
I spent a lot of my 20s looking for a partner because I thought I had to and I also wanted to be a mum. At the age of 47 I have just managed to extricate myself from a 17 year extremely toxic relationship in which the only good thing I got out of is my daughter. Now I am in the position of using that awful clichéd phrase of trying to "find myself" my girl being of an age where she doesn't need me as much and I have time for me. I am not sure what to do with myself but I know with a deep certainty that I will never be in another relationship, I am so much happier with the freedom I have to live exactly how I want to. No compromise, no criticism, no pandering to others needs. I am excited about the future for the first time in forever!
Click to expand...

It's SO exciting! I've recently started a lot of self exploration. Lots of things that people might consider 'woo' but that are bringing such great things to my life. I love myself (but am not vain of full of myself, that's not the same thing at all). I go to sound baths, I'm learning to meditate. I go to a lot of women only events where women talk about things that are important to them. I'm becoming more reflective and I practise gratitude every day. I'm feeling a lot of peace and contentment. I don't watch the news and I cut anyone or anything toxic from my life. I know my worth in friendship circles and at work and give as much back. It takes practice but you can make every day a thing to look forward to.
 
soph30 said:
If you think about it, what do you do with a romantic partner that you can’t do with a good friend apart from sex? And you have to make that one person the most important thing all the time instead of experiencing wider life.
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I live in a big city and quite a few friends and acquaintances have got into polyamory/ENM. I'm not against it and they seem happy, but part of me wonders what they're seeking from these extra partners, other than sex, that they can't get from nurturing their existing friendships? They never have time for friends anymore because they have a whole polycule on rotation. It also just seems a faff with all the extra logistics, communication, boundaries, jealousy etc esp the ones with 'primary partners' or spouses. I just wouldn't have the energy and patience!
 
AshMay said:
I live in a big city and quite a few friends and acquaintances have got into polyamory/ENM. I'm not against it and they seem happy, but part of me wonders what they're seeking from these extra partners, other than sex, that they can't get from nurturing their existing friendships? They never have time for friends anymore because they have a whole polycule on rotation. It also just seems a faff with all the extra logistics, communication, boundaries, jealousy etc esp the ones with 'primary partners' or spouses. I just wouldn't have the energy and patience!
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I’ve noticed this has become more of what the people on the apps have said they’re looking for or that they’re open to exploring. I don’t understand
 
unidentified said:
I’ve noticed this has become more of what the people on the apps have said they’re looking for or that they’re open to exploring. I don’t understand
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I love being single but the world is getting so sad and lonely with no commitment or responsibilities expected or needed :(

Note I don’t correlate that to a family or a partner, just human relationships in general
 
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