Simon Harris #6 Even the Duke of Marlborough only charges £4.99 for a tea towel

[MickeyMouseClubhouse]

From the Celebrity Gossip Thread:

Ian Hislop appears to have been targetted in a shooting (unscathed)!
This reads like the daily mail are implying Paul Merton had motive
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I know Simon would have been annoyed being in Private Eye, but this to far

(In all seriousness, I'm glad IH is ok)

 

[Blue bunny]

Ones an irritating fanny and the others a yeast infection

This is definitely the next thread title.

 

[lilykestrel]

this feels like angling to get into another Reach PLC write-up

 

[nothanksbabes]

I saw a picture of some flooding with a caption about someone overdoing it with the gravy. I bet Simon's gutted he's been regurgitating that Sports Direct mug joke when he could have been mixing it up with other brown liquids.

 

[Pkershaw]

Simons beloved crush Martin Lewis has been talking about his new favourite grift, Octopus Energy

If you listen carefully while reading this overwritten, unfunny tripe, you can just about hear him sniffling and wiping the tears away because a nasty wight-wing bigot news outlet has loosely implied that Martin wasn’t overly complimentary.

Aww poor Simon. It’s like listening to Mummy and Daddy fighting, isn’t it?

P.s. Falklands/Norfolk border? I know you’re upset, but… what the duck are you droning on about, Simon?

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Talk about make a song and dance about nothing. Only this absolute bleep could turn an affiliate link into such a drama. Pathetic.

 

[lilykestrel]

 

[ahkrin]

Naturally wouldn't dweam of sharing his affiliate link... how about just don't even mention it then you miserable specimen?

 

[lilykestrel]

It's all gone quiet on the food bank appeal front. Last shop/update was for one in Basildon, on 30th September. Total distributed is £2532.31.

Total donated is £3196, by 172 people. GoFundMe take a cut of 2.9% (£92.68), as well as 25p per transaction (£43) totalling £135.68.

So net donations are £3060.32. There's £528.01 currently unaccounted for.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

It's all gone quiet on the food bank appeal front. Last shop/update was for one in Basildon, on 30th September. Total distributed is £2532.31.

Total donated is £3196, by 172 people. GoFundMe take a cut of 2.9% (£92.68), as well as 25p per transaction (£43) totalling £135.68.

So net donations are £3060.32. There's £528.01 currently unaccounted for.

If the money was going to the charities directly they'd have it now and could spend it on what they want. Instead he's made himself the bleep in the middle holding things up.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

If the money was going to the charities directly they'd have it now and could spend it on what they want. Instead he's made himself the bleep in the middle holding things up.

and claimed a further 25% from taxpayers. Simon is all about making Simon the hero

 

[lilykestrel]

Reach PLC didn't call then
---
oh my god

 

[anniemouse]

I’ll not post a referral but instead I’ll post a link to an article nobody even cares about on my website with a big duck off referral link on it

 

[lilykestrel]

I’ll not post a referral but instead I’ll post a link to an article nobody even cares about on my website with a big duck off referral link on it

the bleeping nerve of having a go at Brighton Live's ad output

 

[nothanksbabes]

What a bleeping head he is.

He's the kind of man I would crawl through broken glass and puddles of piss to get away from if he started prattling on in the pub, laughing at his own jokes. He can't have friends.

 

[ahkrin]

I think he created his personality from 90s sitcoms and sketch shows and hasn't updated it since.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Simons beloved crush Martin Lewis has been talking about his new favourite grift, Octopus Energy

If you listen carefully while reading this overwritten, unfunny tripe, you can just about hear him sniffling and wiping the tears away because a nasty wight-wing bigot news outlet has loosely implied that Martin wasn’t overly complimentary.

Aww poor Simon. It’s like listening to Mummy and Daddy fighting, isn’t it?

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P.s. Falklands/Norfolk border? I know you’re upset, but… what the duck are you droning on about, Simon?

Someone’s been spending a lot of time awone.
I feel like he says that he doesn’t buy people birthday cards, because it’s just a con by big business to make money. And thinks he's so smart and insightful. Twagic.

 

[Blue bunny]

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Reach PLC didn't call then
---
oh my god

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I've said it before, I'll say it again - if you're that desperate for £50, just get a real job Simon and accept your dreams of Internet stardom aren't cutting it.

 

[Pkershaw]

He really is missing the glory days, isn’t he

 

[mchops]

This is the sort of tit I pulled him on when he first started. This isn't satire .