Rebeccaloves_ #47 Grabby goes on holiday, packs the whole house, even takes the car mouse!

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This is a tricky one. Firstly to lose a baby is heartbreaking. I can relate and have suffered ectopic loss (twice). But because of that her post didn't sit right with me. The headline of baby loss and health anxiety - is baby loss not enough? Also the phrase 'one thing after another' - again the first two (infections) surely pale into insignificance for the purposes of online sharing anyway with losing a baby.

Why the need to include 'which could cause cancer' - I cannot imagine ANY doctor saying that and it screams of her catastrophising everything and trying to get maximum sympathy. To throw in cancer for that reason is horrendously crass and offensive. Interestingly she amended chemo drugs to ectopic drugs. Thats a BIG thing to get wrong which makes me wonder of the exact truth of everything else in the post.

Also if doctors suspect ectopic pregnancy, they move like lightning. She was warned it could be life threatening (which ectopic pregnancies can be) but again doctors were baffled. Why? So was it ectopic or not? A scan would have instantly revealed that and the doctors would then have taken action. Was this a truly unique case that stumped all medical professionals in the hospital and they simply sent her home. In which case its medical neglect (which I do not believe for one second was the case).

Odd as well she didn't use the word miscarriage but did use the word ectopic. It feels like she has thrown the whole kitchen sink into the mix and has been deliberately vague. And she didn't see friends when ill with infections but felt she had to go out and see people having just lost a baby (when she has a husband around 24/7 and hands on grandparents on both sides). None of it makes ANY sense.

This 10000%. In my previous post I said about things not quite ringing true, I didn't mean I thought she'd lied about a miscarriage because quite frankly who does that? But just the general vagueness of it all.

I don't think she had an ectopic pregnancy, maybe just some general symptoms of it which she then googled like crazy and Dr Benpecked probably diagnosed her with it. Then she had a miscarriage which I am very sorry for.

She's said 'drs were a bit baffled' quite a few times both in that post but also in the past- I think she uses that term whenever the Dr diagnoses or suggests something that contradicts what her/Ben/her frantic googling says. And I just know she probably gets her 'facts' from those crunchy alt health websites that preach about 'big pharma' and fluoride in toothpaste being toxic 🙄🙄🙄

Also if I were to hazard a guess about her unsatisfactory bloods, I'd say they probably show evidence of multiple deficiencies, characteristic of an eating disorder. But she'll refuse to believe that so once again the Drs will be 'a bit baffled'.
 
For someone so controlling, especially of her body and the way it looks and functions, having her body “fail her” repeatedly in a short space of time must have been a big shock. Maybe that’s why she’s making such a big emphasis about the extreme scenarios, she can’t believe that these things do happen.
 
Reading the comment she made it sounds like it wasn't an ectopic, she didn't have to take the "chemo" type drug, it was the fear of it all that was too much for her. That makes the whole post even more bizarre and damn inappropriate.
 

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Grabby miscarries 10x better than you, lady! 🤦🏼‍♀️

As others have said, I wouldn’t wish miscarriage on anyone, and I do feel for her in the basic sense that she’s lost a baby, but her post is deranged. Chemo drugs, ectopic, drs being baffled, “a lot going on” written on her notes… it screams of a humble brag. She can’t just miscarry, it has to be the most dramatic, scary, potentially cancer causing miscarriage there ever was. 🙈🙄 I know I’ll probably sound like a cow but it just made me eye roll when I read it. As others have said, a simple post stating “I’m deeply saddened to let you all know that I recently suffered a miscarriage. Whilst it wasn’t planned, it has been a really difficult time for us. Please understand if I don’t reply to messages or DMs at the moment” would have been sufficient. It clearly wasn’t an ectopic, she didn’t have cancer, and quite frankly making out like you were at deaths door whilst traipsing to Norfolk, kids birthday parties, Blenheim palace etc is an insult to people who genuinely have suffered an ectopic pregnancy and had to recover from surgery and have their fertility massively impacted as a result. She’s 100% written that (hugely exaggerated and dramatised) post just for content and engagement which I think is revolting.

@Carnations & Corner Baths I’m so very sorry to hear of your losses. My comment above was meant as a dig to Rebecca but I’ve just realised it sounds hugely insensitive. Of course I don’t think she is better than you, rather that she has to ham up everything to sound better than everyone else. ❤
Thank you and not at all, it made me chuckle because it’s so true. Nothing she does is just ordinary, it has to better and bigger and FAR more dramatic and life threatening. Her post made me feel so angry. Well most of her posts do but this one especially. Happily I went on and had two wonderful children after my losses too 💕
 
Reading the comment she made it sounds like it wasn't an ectopic, she didn't have to take the "chemo" type drug, it was the fear of it all that was too much for her. That makes the whole post even more bizarre and damn inappropriate.
She felt ‘weirdly’ grateful.. I don’t think there’s anything weird about feeling grateful you don’t need to take meds with horrid side effects or go through surgery. She has such an odd way with words.

Also agree with others here, I wouldn’t wish miscarriage on anyone having suffered several before eventually having my first baby, but I definitely rolled my eyes reading her post.
 
She felt ‘weirdly’ grateful.. I don’t think there’s anything weird about feeling grateful you don’t need to take meds with horrid side effects or go through surgery. She has such an odd way with words.

Also agree with others here, I wouldn’t wish miscarriage on anyone having suffered several before eventually having my first baby, but I definitely rolled my eyes reading her post.
Sounds like quite a few of us have experienced baby loss. But I bet we dealt with it in a less dramatic fashion. I was distraught but I certainly didn’t post on social media! I didn’t even tell many people
 
I've not experienced an ectopic pregnancy and I'm not minimising them at all, but looking on the NHS website a lot of the symptoms are fairly generic and could be anything eg tummy pains, vaginal bleeding etc which can be normal in pregnancy anyway.

It's akin to as if she's googled a cold, seen that a sore throat is a symptom, googled that particular symptom and then diagnosed herself with throat cancer.

Any why oh why would you catastrophise a bacterial infection so much to the point of declaring it could be cancerous. A lot of things can slowly become cancerous if left untreated but it's usually very rare. She's really, really unhinged and clearly a massive hypochondriac.
 
For someone so controlling, especially of her body and the way it looks and functions, having her body “fail her” repeatedly in a short space of time must have been a big shock. Maybe that’s why she’s making such a big emphasis about the extreme scenarios, she can’t believe that these things do happen.

I got a weird sense that the thing that panicked and freaked her out the most were her own health problems (infections, fear of surgery and taking ectopic/chemo drugs).

I did find it an odd choice of words that she said she was pregnant and then she wasn't. Most women would say that they found out they were actually pregnant and then miscarried.
It was strange to say "and then I wasn't"

I totally agree. It is so odd and vague as to feel almost misleading but surely no one would make up a miscarriage.
 
She's a prick. I literally don't care Becky, go away.

Also, yes yes, great that people talk more openly about pregnancy complications, miscarriages, stillbirth, loss, these days. But I can honestly say that as someone who has had three missed miscarriages and a pregnancy ending in tfmr, I have rarely felt any sense of comfort or reassurance at reading some influencer's experience on Instagram. In Rebecca's case she is clearly very naive and has lived a very sheltered life if nothing particularly bad has ever happened to her before. The unnecessary drama llama-ing and sympathy fishing in this case leaves a nasty taste and is actually quite triggering if you've been through pregnancy loss.

My losses were so deeply personal to me. Knowing that other women had had miscarriages or tfmrs and then gone on to have successful pregnancies was of duck all use to me in the moment and, unfortunately for me, my family will always feel incomplete. Some people just don't get their happy ending. Still, I count my blessings and save my real sorrow for my lovely friends who lost their youngest child to a particularly vicious cancer, or to my friends whose twins were stillborn at term and who have never had any other children because it was just to painful to even go there again.

I am also old enough and wise enough to know that early miscarriages are very common, and it's really only due to home pregnancy tests and people testing even before their period is due, that most women are even aware of very early losses - in my mum's day you didn't go to the GP until you'd missed three periods (not saying this was a good thing btw)! There were no early reassurance scans, no sex reveal parties, no baby showers, no #2under2. Society has got to point where fertility, pregnancy and babies are treated with a weird reverence, not to mention monetised, it's mad and fucked up.

The human race procreates to ensure it's survival, we are animals, it's a biological urge. It doesn't make you special, someone needs to send Becky (and bleeping Courtney Adamo and all the mormons who live in Hawaii) that memo.

Aaaah, I feel a lot better for that.
 
I work in a healthcare adjacent role and I’ve seen a little bit of coded language to be used in notes and letters. Sometimes it’s just a reflex from dictating hundreds of letters over a lifetime, but ‘pleasant’ and by contrast ‘straightforward’ appear a lot.

I would take a punt on ‘a lot going on’ is an allusion to Grabby’s controlling tendencies, eating issues and Benpecked’s insistence that he knows better than the clinicians.
 
I work in a healthcare adjacent role and I’ve seen a little bit of coded language to be used in notes and letters. Sometimes it’s just a reflex from dictating hundreds of letters over a lifetime, but ‘pleasant’ and by contrast ‘straightforward’ appear a lot.

I would take a punt on ‘a lot going on’ is an allusion to Grabby’s controlling tendencies, eating issues and Benpecked’s insistence that he knows better than the clinicians.
I can just imagine her saying ‘But my husband said…..!’ 🙄
 
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