Pregnancy Off Topic #5 “Are men ok??”

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Elle Woods said:
sorry to bring the mood down guys, but I’m just wondering if anyone on here has ever suffered with PND? I’ve been feeling really down for a few weeks now, and kinda just disregarding it as being tired but I’m really struggling the last few days. It doesn’t help the baby has been super fussy/clingy so that’s probably making my feelings worse. I just feel really down, I cry every single day without fail. I’m exhausted. I’m not getting any enjoyment out of things I used to like baking, walking the dog etc. then I feel guilty for feeling this way like I’m a bad mum. I longed for a baby so much, I went through such a traumatic experience to have him and now I’ve got him I feel horrendous i don’t know what’s wrong with me, I feel ungrateful and guilty. I love my baby so so much, of course I enjoy being with him but it’s so much harder than I ever expected and I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to hide how I feel and not tell anyone but I can’t go on like this. I’m reluctant to go on any medication, I’ve been on it before having the baby and I’m not keen on going on again. Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Is there anyone I can talk to? I tried to get a GP app this morning but the earliest they can see me is the end of the month 😢
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Totally understandable. My midwife has spoke to me about an MNPI service we get in Scotland for traumatic births etc. Not sure if there is an equivalent in England, I imagine there would be. Can you speak to your health visitor or GP to refer you to someone?
 
@Elle Woods You’re one of the strongest people I’ve got the pleasure of knowing! I had PND with my first, and I’m certain I’ve got it now. With my first I think I had it cos of covid because I had a baby then we went right into lockdown and I live far from my family so we had 0 help, couldn’t go anywhere etc. This time round I’ve just had a lot going on alongside the baby being born and I think it’s just carried on cos I had it the first time round. These are just normal instances of PND, you have been through SO much, literally one of the most traumatic things a new Mum could go through - that’s bound to have an effect on you. I’d be surprised if it didn’t! There are many things in place to help you, MIND is a good charity, and speaking to your HV or GP. I spoke to mine and she got me in touch with the perinatal midwives, I seen them whilst i was pregnant but they give help to new Mums too. Their fab. If you ever need anyone to talk to, the threads always open and we’re all new Mums/Mums to be in the same boat - I can guarantee even if it’s the middle of the night someone will be awake ! You’re never alone ever. And it will pass. You’ve done the hardest thing which is admitting there’s a problem! You’re so, so strong what you and your little boy have been through xxxxx

Just to add I never went on anti depressants the first time I had counselling which did help. I’ve been prescribed anti depressants this time round but I’ve not gone to get them yet 😂 There’s things that will help x
 
Thank you so much everyone , you’re all so kind 🩷 I’ve spent some time with my closest family member this afternoon talking to her and I’ve managed to speak to one of my sons nurses who is arranging some help for me. I’m so grateful for all your kind words and support, love to you all 🩷 xxxxxxx
 
watermelon sugar said:
Having kids is funny. You just adapt to the stupid things they say. My 4 yo calls ear wax ‘ear bogeys’ my fella has just come in from work and went to me ‘my ear is killing, I’ve got a massive ear bogey i think’ but he said it so off the cuff like totally serious. 🤣
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Whilst driving I often find myself shouting oh look a train!!! Then realise the toddler isn’t in the car.
 
watermelon sugar said:
Having kids is funny. You just adapt to the stupid things they say. My 4 yo calls ear wax ‘ear bogeys’ my fella has just come in from work and went to me ‘my ear is killing, I’ve got a massive ear bogey i think’ but he said it so off the cuff like totally serious. 🤣
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I can't say yoghurt any more thanks to my eldest. It's nogurt or nothing 😂
 
I think it’s just cus they move them about so much and touch EVERYTHING so it sort of collects? Especially when they start putting their hands in their mouth so constantly have wet hands too 🤢 I pick it out when he’s sleeping so more relaxed or swipe between his fingers and toes with a folded wetwipe.

Nubs has started grabbing and holding his dummy now so it collects on there too so I’m forever cleaning it 😩
 
raspberryjuice said:
I think it’s just cus they move them about so much and touch EVERYTHING so it sort of collects? Especially when they start putting their hands in their mouth so constantly have wet hands too 🤢 I pick it out when he’s sleeping so more relaxed or swipe between his fingers and toes with a folded wetwipe.

Nubs has started grabbing and holding his dummy now so it collects on there too so I’m forever cleaning it 😩
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I used the wet wipe trick earlier, he was fuming 😂
 
Elle Woods said:
I went to bed at 8pm and my bf had the baby for the first half of the night so that I could get a few hours solid sleep. I woke up at midnight to him burping the baby singing “we will we will burp you” 🎵
I’ve had 7 hours sleep according to my watch!
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I always find a decent sleep helps my mood enormously (not to detract from wider feelings), just that when I am feeling low, really prioritising sleep helps 🙏🏻
 
I’ve been having proper lie ins with the kids now the baby sleeps through, but I’m super paranoid I’m gonna be late when me eldest goes in at 8:40 from tomorrow so I’ve said to myself I’ll set an alarm for 5am to sort ourselves out 🤣 I’m probs being a bit dramatic with the 5am alarm but when he was in nursery last year and started at 9 we were always the last ones in at like 9:05 🤣 We literally live across the road as well hahahaha
 
Brewtime87 said:
I think you all stole my sleep, I've only had an hour or two 🥱 Every time I drifted off I'd immediately wake myself up snoring 😆 then no matter what I couldn't get comfy. Went into the spare room but was wide awake by then. At least I can be tired today without a kid to look after....yet 😬
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You might jinx yourself and go into labour and end up with a baby at the end of the day 😆
 
watermelon sugar said:
You might jinx yourself and go into labour and end up with a baby at the end of the day 😆
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I wouldn't even mind that you know, I'm bored of mat leave now, not even a full week in 🤣 I've told Mr B that I'm having a quick labour and don't intend to stay overnight so being back home with a baby by the end of today seems entirely feasible. That's how birth plans work right?! 🤣
 
I say she sleeps through but I put her down about 7ish then my fella dream feeds her about 11 before he goes to sleep. Then she sleeps from then till anywhere from 6-8am! My fella keeps saying we should drop the dream feed but I don’t want to risk it! Only cos he’d be fast asleep and it’d be me fumbling around livid in the middle of the night 🤣
 
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