One Day of Winter #3 Queen Raven still ruling the roost.... even the Pea has reproduced.

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I’ve got 3 children and none have EVER hit me, they get frustrated obviously and have tantrums like every other child but they’re never physically violent. I like the ideas of gentle parenting but in all honesty I just haven’t got the patience or temperament for it - seems odd to me how Ray has ‘learnt’ to hit when she doesn’t get her way in such a wishy washy household. I’m sure Pea blames it on nursery 🙄🙄🙄
 
Yep, my 2 have never hit either, we have a fairly gentle parenting style but with clear boundaries and routine, and they have never once hit an adult or eachother.... a huge part of gentle parenting is the teaching of emotional intelligence, clearly nicola has skipped this part if at 4 years old ray cannot effectively communicate how she is feeling other than using violence.
 
My 3 year old bit and hit me and his sister when she was born (I did closely monitor and supervise, moved baby and kept her as safe as I could) this passed after a while. I am fairly gentle and made it very clear hitting and biting is wrong, stopped him physically, said no and have clear boundaries around behaviour (i think!) None of this stopped him as he was working through his feelings and frustrations about the changes. I do think hitting and biting are normal for SOME children and doesn't mean you are a terrible parent if you kid does this.
 
Rir said:
My 3 year old bit and hit me and his sister when she was born (I did closely monitor and supervise, moved baby and kept her as safe as I could) this passed after a while. I am fairly gentle and made it very clear hitting and biting is wrong, stopped him physically, said no and have clear boundaries around behaviour (i think!) None of this stopped him as he was working through his feelings and frustrations about the changes. I do think hitting and biting are normal for SOME children and doesn't mean you are a terrible parent if you kid does this.
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Of course your not a terrible parent if you do this... sorry in my post I was more aiming at the fact nicola completely dismisses the hitting as is very blase saying it is normal etc, which leads me to think she just allows it as it's part of Ray's development rather than disciplining gently and explaining the feeling behind those behaviours
 
Rir said:
My 3 year old bit and hit me and his sister when she was born (I did closely monitor and supervise, moved baby and kept her as safe as I could) this passed after a while. I am fairly gentle and made it very clear hitting and biting is wrong, stopped him physically, said no and have clear boundaries around behaviour (i think!) None of this stopped him as he was working through his feelings and frustrations about the changes. I do think hitting and biting are normal for SOME children and doesn't mean you are a terrible parent if you kid does this.
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No it doesn't at all but then most responsible parents would deal with it wouldn't they? Even when Raven bit and hit at nursery, she found an excuse as to why she did it and then grumbled that the nursery didn't deal with it gently enough as Raven was upset at being told she shouldn't do it and I'm sure she was either going to complain or was questioning whether it was the right nursery as they won't follow her method for dealing with Raven.

Let's face it, her method is an absolute tit show, imagine picking your child up from nursery who has been bit by another and the child hasn't been dealt with because we can't tell the child no?!

I did feel sorry for her at one point, but she's so selfish and self absorbed and no one who knows her seems to speak well of her.

She takes every opportunity to Lord it over others and even turns baby loss into a competition (not really a competition as no ones loss will be as bad as hers)

She posts at the breaking point type stories on insta and over on her tit parenting page and literally turns down every single piece of advice and responds with a sneery "maybe"

She cant see the damage she is doing and never will
 
Another thing that winds me up is how she’s so ‘we’ve got this’ crap on insta so she thinks all mums will be like wow! And then clearly a completely different story on her fb?? Why lie to everyone. I can’t stand ppl who fake their lives for insta, nothing is ever as perfect as people make out.
 
EmilyChambers said:
No it doesn't at all but then most responsible parents would deal with it wouldn't they? Even when Raven bit and hit at nursery, she found an excuse as to why she did it and then grumbled that the nursery didn't deal with it gently enough as Raven was upset at being told she shouldn't do it and I'm sure she was either going to complain or was questioning whether it was the right nursery as they won't follow her method for dealing with Raven.

Let's face it, her method is an absolute tit show, imagine picking your child up from nursery who has been bit by another and the child hasn't been dealt with because we can't tell the child no?!

I did feel sorry for her at one point, but she's so selfish and self absorbed and no one who knows her seems to speak well of her.

She takes every opportunity to Lord it over others and even turns baby loss into a competition (not really a competition as no ones loss will be as bad as hers)

She posts at the breaking point type stories on insta and over on her tit parenting page and literally turns down every single piece of advice and responds with a sneery "maybe"

She cant see the damage she is doing and never will
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I feel exactly the same. So well put ✨
 
Just think, if Raven didn't start self-weaning til she was 3.5 and then picked it up again out of jealousy... Will she match Ember feed for feed until Ember self-weans? Breastfeeding Raven til she's 7 because she doesn't want to 'break her heart'. I still maintain she'll pull the plug on breastfeeding fairly early with Ember and say she refused it or something, as a way of weaning Raven and not upsetting her.

Let's all say it together now, TELL RAVEN NO.

It doesn't need to be aggressive or anything, she can do it in her sickly sweet voice with her 'i want to wear your skin' smile (amazing, whoever said this first btw!) but the time has come where she absolutely MUST set some boundaries for her own sanity and the safety of her newborn because if hitting is 'normal', what else is normal? Nipping Ember? Biting her? I'm not saying the hitting was directed at Ember, I'm guessing more likely Pea, but still. Where do you draw the line when you've never successfully drawn a line before?
 
TheLastLolo said:
Just think, if Raven didn't start self-weaning til she was 3.5 and then picked it up again out of jealousy... Will she match Ember feed for feed until Ember self-weans? Breastfeeding Raven til she's 7 because she doesn't want to 'break her heart'. I still maintain she'll pull the plug on breastfeeding fairly early with Ember and say she refused it or something, as a way of weaning Raven and not upsetting her.

Let's all say it together now, TELL RAVEN NO.

It doesn't need to be aggressive or anything, she can do it in her sickly sweet voice with her 'i want to wear your skin' smile (amazing, whoever said this first btw!) but the time has come where she absolutely MUST set some boundaries for her own sanity and the safety of her newborn because if hitting is 'normal', what else is normal? Nipping Ember? Biting her? I'm not saying the hitting was directed at Ember, I'm guessing more likely Pea, but still. Where do you draw the line when you've never successfully drawn a line before?
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More likely to switch Ember to a bottle and says she's refused it so Raven can continue with free access to two boobs.
 
EmilyChambers said:
More likely to switch Ember to a bottle and says she's refused it so Raven can continue with free access to two boobs.
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This would be absolutely obscene. But sadly, totally possible. It's as if Raven is Pea's, Ember is Dean's. A new baby to further divide the household and keep Dean from ever having a relationship with Raven. But since Dean appears to have vanished... Who knows?
 
missmarmighty said:
I hate the whole ‘we’ve got this mama’ drives me nuts 🤮
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It totally disregards the seriousness of things like PND for me. It suggests it's something you can just overcome if you put enough effort in. Nicola bends herself over daily and doesn't seem to 'overcome'. No disrespect to her in that regard, she needs help. But she's too stubborn and too wrapped up in this bleeping 'Must. Be. Gentle.' parenting. If this carries on, Nicola will have a breakdown, Raven will be the most selfish child ever and Ember will dislike her family because she's basically ignored from birth/treated as inconvenient.
 
TheLastLolo said:
It totally disregards the seriousness of things like PND for me. It suggests it's something you can just overcome if you put enough effort in. Nicola bends herself over daily and doesn't seem to 'overcome'. No disrespect to her in that regard, she needs help. But she's too stubborn and too wrapped up in this bleeping 'Must. Be. Gentle.' parenting. If this carries on, Nicola will have a breakdown, Raven will be the most selfish child ever and Ember will dislike her family because she's basically ignored from birth/treated as inconvenient.
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Totally agree that it disregards a more serious issue. I think she’s worried about altering her parenting style because of what others and certain groups might think. I don’t know about everyone else but my parenting style has its basics and then constantly evolves with the growth of my children. I think Raven is still very much treated like a baby and it’s easy to utilise the ‘parenting’ style that Pea wants to when your baby can’t be independent in anyway but now that Raven has her own mind the parenting style needs to change in order for Raven to flourish in the world
 
So much arse kissing 🙄
 

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RLdeletedme said:
I absolutely hate people who use food for play. It's disgusting. There are children going hungry and you're using bags of rice for Venom to chuck everywhere. It makes me so mad.

Children don't need food for play. They don't.
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I agree. We only ever do this if in the garden in summer if I’ve got a bag of flour or rice that’s gone out of date and in 4 years it’s happened once. There’s no need to be wasteful at all. I’d rather pop stuff in a food bank if it’s in date rather than let my children chuck it everywhere. Promoting waste with that following baffles me.
 
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