Niomi Smart #88 Bye bye cock retreats and naughty Halloween orgies … hello museums and Dior parties

[Callan]

He shares a lot in these UOL podcasts "I started this year. I was having a real low point. I was really out of sorts and I remember every morning I started like kind of building my, my, my structure and my strategy for kicking myself out of those circumstances. I did everything. I got up and I made my bed first because I wanted to have a sense of accomplishment and that prepped for the evening. I go downstairs and I challenge myself with a cold shower and again give myself that sense of I'm in control here and I fight my fears. But I actually remember I would hug myself and say exactly that I love and appreciate myself, I love and accept myself, I love and approve of myself. And I also added a fourth one, which is I love and acknowledge the hero that I am and I…I sat in those cold showers hugging myself and saying those lines and like I love and appreciate myself, like I sat with that as in, I appreciate who I am, how I am, how I'm showing up in the world, I approve. I say I love and approve of myself. I approve of who I am, how I, how I'm showing up in the world, and I'd love them to accept that. I'd love them to accept myself. The more I did that honestly, the more I did that honestly, the more I actually I remember certain points, sitting there hugging myself, going through that process and crying with like a feeling of jamie, you've come back to yourself, this is a big accomplishment, it's huge, it's huge and it's again. It's so easily lost right. And I did that. I said those lines mirror for a little while and I kind of rhymed and wrapped them in a couple of bit of form, but it wasn't until a very low point where I really grabbed them and I learned what it meant to actually say them, to feel them and to enjoy the benefit of that "

This is wild, so him being a life coach, coaching others is just him self medicating or something? All he's doing is really to help himself.. yet he still does things on the daily that make you take a 360 turn from feeling sorry for him after reading that. It's like a patient playing doctor. He's actually worse than I imagine, her spending her days with him must have been a weird type of hell, either she faked most of it or she actually bonded with those parts of him. Crazzyyyy.

 

[cbracelet]

They weren’t together at the start of the year so sounds like this was his coping mechanism at home in Ireland. He posted it on October 31st. Just before they split again

 

[slamvs27]

What a leech.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

She again looks manic in the latest post.

 

[Nitfey]

I know people are going through different things but reading his weird monologue and knowing the creep he is, I identify it as yet another form of gaslighting
I don't trust his words by no means. His words are NEVER aligned with his actions.

 

[Coldfeet]

He shares a lot in these UOL podcasts "I started this year. I was having a real low point. I was really out of sorts and I remember every morning I started like kind of building my, my, my structure and my strategy for kicking myself out of those circumstances. I did everything. I got up and I made my bed first because I wanted to have a sense of accomplishment and that prepped for the evening. I go downstairs and I challenge myself with a cold shower and again give myself that sense of I'm in control here and I fight my fears. But I actually remember I would hug myself and say exactly that I love and appreciate myself, I love and accept myself, I love and approve of myself. And I also added a fourth one, which is I love and acknowledge the hero that I am and I…I sat in those cold showers hugging myself and saying those lines and like I love and appreciate myself, like I sat with that as in, I appreciate who I am, how I am, how I'm showing up in the world, I approve. I say I love and approve of myself. I approve of who I am, how I, how I'm showing up in the world, and I'd love them to accept that. I'd love them to accept myself. The more I did that honestly, the more I did that honestly, the more I actually I remember certain points, sitting there hugging myself, going through that process and crying with like a feeling of jamie, you've come back to yourself, this is a big accomplishment, it's huge, it's huge and it's again. It's so easily lost right. And I did that. I said those lines mirror for a little while and I kind of rhymed and wrapped them in a couple of bit of form, but it wasn't until a very low point where I really grabbed them and I learned what it meant to actually say them, to feel them and to enjoy the benefit of that "

And people in 'ruined' countries would give their eye teeth to have a cold, fresh shower and an air bnb to run back to. Vomit

 

[cbracelet]

Jamie’s first experience of doing Psychedelics : “I was blessed I had this group of entrepreneurial friends who were all very inspired from hearing rumours of this taking place with some of the top CEOs in San Fran. I remember we were like, what are they doing? We were all into biohacking at the time and this was like the edgy step forward for us. It was like you know, they're all doing all these bio hacks, but they're also talking about this. So we talked about it for months because we were nervous and we were anxious, but we were like we'll all do it together, four of us, all kind of in business for ourselves, and we found this beautiful space. We, we, actually we all, we all were so conscious of how to create the space. We were like let's make it really colour neutral, let's take down any..any like any artwork that might be distractive. So it's a really beautiful neutral environment. Let's light candles. We curated a playlist, we got eye masks and and …we did exactly this as well. We didn't micro dose, we took quite a big dose. The idea was that it was. We were just curious. So let's see what happened, and for me it was the most. It was such a..in reflection, it was probably one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, to be like there with four friends, adventuring, um, but like one of us, one of us led us through a little breath work exercise to kind of calm us all together.Another kind of talked about intentions and like opened the, opened the forum for us to discuss fears and and also kind of like ideas of what it might be, when none of us really knew what it was going to be. But it was so nice anyway. Then at a certain point we, we, one of my friends was almost like a bloody chemist. He whipped, he had grown mushrooms and then made them into these beautiful chocolate truffles and so so anyway, we took them, put our eye masks on and and laid down and for me, what just blew my mind was it was like my you know, when you close your eyes and you don't really see much. But it was like it was like kind of almost tuning in a TV that suddenly that space that is normally, normally just looks like static, started to almost tune in. And I like I suddenly I was remembering my dreams and I was like this is amazing.That was the dream I had the night before, and that was the night, the dream I had before, and I could see my dreams really clearly and I was like, oh, there's a message here. How have I not understood that? And then suddenly I could remember memories, but not just like you know how we kind of have a blurry memory. It was like I was literally taking a videotape in and putting it and I could rewind it. I could bring myself right into the room, I could look around in that room. I could remember like the smell in the air, the touch, if perhaps I was touching somebody or something like that. It was so precise and that shook me. I was like, wow, I have access to my dreams. I have access to my memory at a capacity I just didn't know was there. I just didn't know was there. And then ..then the strangest thing happened. I like it's like I was on a swivel chair and I swivelled around and I was at a board table with, like all these people which for now I would see as my guides, oh, wow, yes, are my ancestors, and they were like there's a wanted me to put on the Jamie voice. But no, it was like Jamie, you are way too distracted with your outside world and you have no idea the power and capacity that you have in here in your internal world. Can we encourage you to stop getting so, stop being so concerned of what the outside world thinks and wants of you and to journey deeper into yourself, because we promise you that if you go deeper into yourself and start honouring yourself, you're going to live on a whole different level. And you talked about a mission and it kind of inspired this thought. It was like so we want you to do this, this, this and this. And it wasn't like that was a third party. It genuinely felt like it was an internal part of me saying this is what we need to do, right, so you have been doing what you think you need to do based on what everybody else is saying out there. Here's what we should be doing from a really deep internal place, right. And I left and at that moment it was like you've got your message. Now just enjoy the joy of your imagination and the pleasure that your body can it can experience. And it was amazing.


I was taking on this like this unbelievable imaginative, like a symphony of just like oh my God, this is so creative. This is so beautiful, this is so entertaining, let's say, whilst at the same time, my body was experiencing what I would could only describe as full body orgasms. I was like this is amazing. And when I came out of it I was like I have the capacity to remember my dreams, go back through my memories like a vault tune into a part of myself that is like filter, free and uninfluenced by external perspective. It's like my truest voice. I can experience pleasure at a level I just never knew. And, oh my God, my imagination is better than any movie, any TV show. And it shook me. It shook me for weeks actually, because I was like I didn't know any of this was in there. This is amazing. And so began my mission.”

 

[Coldfeet]

Jamie’s first experience of doing Psychedelics : “I was blessed I had this group of entrepreneurial friends who were all very inspired from hearing rumours of this taking place with some of the top CEOs in San Fran. I remember we were like, what are they doing? We were all into biohacking at the time and this was like the edgy step forward for us. It was like you know, they're all doing all these bio hacks, but they're also talking about this. So we talked about it for months because we were nervous and we were anxious, but we were like we'll all do it together, four of us, all kind of in business for ourselves, and we found this beautiful space. We, we, actually we all, we all were so conscious of how to create the space. We were like let's make it really colour neutral, let's take down any..any like any artwork that might be distractive. So it's a really beautiful neutral environment. Let's light candles. We curated a playlist, we got eye masks and and …we did exactly this as well. We didn't micro dose, we took quite a big dose. The idea was that it was. We were just curious. So let's see what happened, and for me it was the most. It was such a..in reflection, it was probably one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, to be like there with four friends, adventuring, um, but like one of us, one of us led us through a little breath work exercise to kind of calm us all together.Another kind of talked about intentions and like opened the, opened the forum for us to discuss fears and and also kind of like ideas of what it might be, when none of us really knew what it was going to be. But it was so nice anyway. Then at a certain point we, we, one of my friends was almost like a bloody chemist. He whipped, he had grown mushrooms and then made them into these beautiful chocolate truffles and so so anyway, we took them, put our eye masks on and and laid down and for me, what just blew my mind was it was like my you know, when you close your eyes and you don't really see much. But it was like it was like kind of almost tuning in a TV that suddenly that space that is normally, normally just looks like static, started to almost tune in. And I like I suddenly I was remembering my dreams and I was like this is amazing.That was the dream I had the night before, and that was the night, the dream I had before, and I could see my dreams really clearly and I was like, oh, there's a message here. How have I not understood that? And then suddenly I could remember memories, but not just like you know how we kind of have a blurry memory. It was like I was literally taking a videotape in and putting it and I could rewind it. I could bring myself right into the room, I could look around in that room. I could remember like the smell in the air, the touch, if perhaps I was touching somebody or something like that. It was so precise and that shook me. I was like, wow, I have access to my dreams. I have access to my memory at a capacity I just didn't know was there. I just didn't know was there. And then ..then the strangest thing happened. I like it's like I was on a swivel chair and I swivelled around and I was at a board table with, like all these people which for now I would see as my guides, oh, wow, yes, are my ancestors, and they were like there's a wanted me to put on the Jamie voice. But no, it was like Jamie, you are way too distracted with your outside world and you have no idea the power and capacity that you have in here in your internal world. Can we encourage you to stop getting so, stop being so concerned of what the outside world thinks and wants of you and to journey deeper into yourself, because we promise you that if you go deeper into yourself and start honouring yourself, you're going to live on a whole different level. And you talked about a mission and it kind of inspired this thought. It was like so we want you to do this, this, this and this. And it wasn't like that was a third party. It genuinely felt like it was an internal part of me saying this is what we need to do, right, so you have been doing what you think you need to do based on what everybody else is saying out there. Here's what we should be doing from a really deep internal place, right. And I left and at that moment it was like you've got your message. Now just enjoy the joy of your imagination and the pleasure that your body can it can experience. And it was amazing.


I was taking on this like this unbelievable imaginative, like a symphony of just like oh my God, this is so creative. This is so beautiful, this is so entertaining, let's say, whilst at the same time, my body was experiencing what I would could only describe as full body orgasms. I was like this is amazing. And when I came out of it I was like I have the capacity to remember my dreams, go back through my memories like a vault tune into a part of myself that is like filter, free and uninfluenced by external perspective. It's like my truest voice. I can experience pleasure at a level I just never knew. And, oh my God, my imagination is better than any movie, any TV show. And it shook me. It shook me for weeks actually, because I was like I didn't know any of this was in there. This is amazing. And so began my mission.”

OMG. Stop the world I want to get off

 

[cbracelet]

More oversharing on UOL, these really came out of nowhere. I guess he’s trying to get his guests to open up more by sharing his experiences..

“I remember back when I was around, when I was around 14 or 15, with somebody. I um was with a girl and I prematurely ejaculated, yeah, and I was so embarrassed, so ashamed yeah and um. In another kind of occasion a little while later, the same happened again

Some time later..

“I remember I, um, I fancied a photographer and I was like could you take some photos of me? Yeah, it's kind of like my way of let's hang and let's hang out anyway, she ended up taking these photos of me and it was like me in the water or me with the wet top on, and I remember when she sent them to me I didn't know what to think. I got so overwhelmed, I like. I looked at them in me and, let's say, provocatively or in a sexy way, I was like, oh my God. One of my friends grabbed my phone. He was like Jay, what's this? Oh, wow, you look great in these photos. I was like, are you sure? I feel a little bit nervous seeing myself like that. And he was like no, you look amazing. You should, you should totally share those photos. Yeah, which I did. And I remember this was kind of, let's say, a journey of, of integrating a level of sexiness”


Ok I’m absolutely DONE now- I can’t listen to him ever again. I’ll wash but I’ll never be clean

 

[Nitfey]

The horror...
---
Ps: apart from being genuinely repulsive, he is equally extremely DUMB

 

[LolitaBlah]

More oversharing on UOL, these really came out of nowhere. I guess he’s trying to get his guests to open up more by sharing his experiences..

“I remember back when I was around, when I was around 14 or 15, with somebody. I um was with a girl and I prematurely ejaculated, yeah, and I was so embarrassed, so ashamed yeah and um. In another kind of occasion a little while later, the same happened again

Some time later..

“I remember I, um, I fancied a photographer and I was like could you take some photos of me? Yeah, it's kind of like my way of let's hang and let's hang out anyway, she ended up taking these photos of me and it was like me in the water or me with the wet top on, and I remember when she sent them to me I didn't know what to think. I got so overwhelmed, I like. I looked at them in me and, let's say, provocatively or in a sexy way, I was like, oh my God. One of my friends grabbed my phone. He was like Jay, what's this? Oh, wow, you look great in these photos. I was like, are you sure? I feel a little bit nervous seeing myself like that. And he was like no, you look amazing. You should, you should totally share those photos. Yeah, which I did. And I remember this was kind of, let's say, a journey of, of integrating a level of sexiness”


Ok I’m absolutely DONE now- I can’t listen to him ever again. I’ll wash but I’ll never be clean

Hi. Thank you for this beaudiful message. Can you please post all your transcripts in his tattle thread too? Much appreciated.
Now I'm going to vomit. Bye.

 

[WinterSolstice]

He shares a lot in these UOL podcasts "I started this year. I was having a real low point. I was really out of sorts and I remember every morning I started like kind of building my, my, my structure and my strategy for kicking myself out of those circumstances. I did everything. I got up and I made my bed first because I wanted to have a sense of accomplishment and that prepped for the evening. I go downstairs and I challenge myself with a cold shower and again give myself that sense of I'm in control here and I fight my fears. But I actually remember I would hug myself and say exactly that I love and appreciate myself, I love and accept myself, I love and approve of myself. And I also added a fourth one, which is I love and acknowledge the hero that I am and I…I sat in those cold showers hugging myself and saying those lines and like I love and appreciate myself, like I sat with that as in, I appreciate who I am, how I am, how I'm showing up in the world, I approve. I say I love and approve of myself. I approve of who I am, how I, how I'm showing up in the world, and I'd love them to accept that. I'd love them to accept myself. The more I did that honestly, the more I did that honestly, the more I actually I remember certain points, sitting there hugging myself, going through that process and crying with like a feeling of jamie, you've come back to yourself, this is a big accomplishment, it's huge, it's huge and it's again. It's so easily lost right. And I did that. I said those lines mirror for a little while and I kind of rhymed and wrapped them in a couple of bit of form, but it wasn't until a very low point where I really grabbed them and I learned what it meant to actually say them, to feel them and to enjoy the benefit of that "

That’s nice dear.

Now, have you thought about getting a, you know, job?

 

[blurstoftimes]

Jamie’s first experience of doing Psychedelics : “I was blessed I had this group of entrepreneurial friends who were all very inspired from hearing rumours of this taking place with some of the top CEOs in San Fran. I remember we were like, what are they doing? We were all into biohacking at the time and this was like the edgy step forward for us. It was like you know, they're all doing all these bio hacks, but they're also talking about this. So we talked about it for months because we were nervous and we were anxious, but we were like we'll all do it together, four of us, all kind of in business for ourselves, and we found this beautiful space. We, we, actually we all, we all were so conscious of how to create the space. We were like let's make it really colour neutral, let's take down any..any like any artwork that might be distractive. So it's a really beautiful neutral environment. Let's light candles. We curated a playlist, we got eye masks and and …we did exactly this as well. We didn't micro dose, we took quite a big dose. The idea was that it was. We were just curious. So let's see what happened, and for me it was the most. It was such a..in reflection, it was probably one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, to be like there with four friends, adventuring, um, but like one of us, one of us led us through a little breath work exercise to kind of calm us all together.Another kind of talked about intentions and like opened the, opened the forum for us to discuss fears and and also kind of like ideas of what it might be, when none of us really knew what it was going to be. But it was so nice anyway. Then at a certain point we, we, one of my friends was almost like a bloody chemist. He whipped, he had grown mushrooms and then made them into these beautiful chocolate truffles and so so anyway, we took them, put our eye masks on and and laid down and for me, what just blew my mind was it was like my you know, when you close your eyes and you don't really see much. But it was like it was like kind of almost tuning in a TV that suddenly that space that is normally, normally just looks like static, started to almost tune in. And I like I suddenly I was remembering my dreams and I was like this is amazing.That was the dream I had the night before, and that was the night, the dream I had before, and I could see my dreams really clearly and I was like, oh, there's a message here. How have I not understood that? And then suddenly I could remember memories, but not just like you know how we kind of have a blurry memory. It was like I was literally taking a videotape in and putting it and I could rewind it. I could bring myself right into the room, I could look around in that room. I could remember like the smell in the air, the touch, if perhaps I was touching somebody or something like that. It was so precise and that shook me. I was like, wow, I have access to my dreams. I have access to my memory at a capacity I just didn't know was there. I just didn't know was there. And then ..then the strangest thing happened. I like it's like I was on a swivel chair and I swivelled around and I was at a board table with, like all these people which for now I would see as my guides, oh, wow, yes, are my ancestors, and they were like there's a wanted me to put on the Jamie voice. But no, it was like Jamie, you are way too distracted with your outside world and you have no idea the power and capacity that you have in here in your internal world. Can we encourage you to stop getting so, stop being so concerned of what the outside world thinks and wants of you and to journey deeper into yourself, because we promise you that if you go deeper into yourself and start honouring yourself, you're going to live on a whole different level. And you talked about a mission and it kind of inspired this thought. It was like so we want you to do this, this, this and this. And it wasn't like that was a third party. It genuinely felt like it was an internal part of me saying this is what we need to do, right, so you have been doing what you think you need to do based on what everybody else is saying out there. Here's what we should be doing from a really deep internal place, right. And I left and at that moment it was like you've got your message. Now just enjoy the joy of your imagination and the pleasure that your body can it can experience. And it was amazing.


I was taking on this like this unbelievable imaginative, like a symphony of just like oh my God, this is so creative. This is so beautiful, this is so entertaining, let's say, whilst at the same time, my body was experiencing what I would could only describe as full body orgasms. I was like this is amazing. And when I came out of it I was like I have the capacity to remember my dreams, go back through my memories like a vault tune into a part of myself that is like filter, free and uninfluenced by external perspective. It's like my truest voice. I can experience pleasure at a level I just never knew. And, oh my God, my imagination is better than any movie, any TV show. And it shook me. It shook me for weeks actually, because I was like I didn't know any of this was in there. This is amazing. And so began my mission.”

the last time i did mushrooms with my friends we watched the music video for Out of Your Mind by Victoria Beckham ft Dane Bowers on repeat for hours while nearly peeing our pants laughing. clearly i'm doing it wrong compared to the san fran CEOs

 

[Juststopit]

More oversharing on UOL, these really came out of nowhere. I guess he’s trying to get his guests to open up more by sharing his experiences..

“I remember back when I was around, when I was around 14 or 15, with somebody. I um was with a girl and I prematurely ejaculated, yeah, and I was so embarrassed, so ashamed yeah and um. In another kind of occasion a little while later, the same happened again

Some time later..

“I remember I, um, I fancied a photographer and I was like could you take some photos of me? Yeah, it's kind of like my way of let's hang and let's hang out anyway, she ended up taking these photos of me and it was like me in the water or me with the wet top on, and I remember when she sent them to me I didn't know what to think. I got so overwhelmed, I like. I looked at them in me and, let's say, provocatively or in a sexy way, I was like, oh my God. One of my friends grabbed my phone. He was like Jay, what's this? Oh, wow, you look great in these photos. I was like, are you sure? I feel a little bit nervous seeing myself like that. And he was like no, you look amazing. You should, you should totally share those photos. Yeah, which I did. And I remember this was kind of, let's say, a journey of, of integrating a level of sexiness”


Ok I’m absolutely DONE now- I can’t listen to him ever again. I’ll wash but I’ll never be clean

Integrating a new level of sexiness is such hilarious way to mix corporate wanky speech with just...wanky speech. I'm going to use it as often as possible. Excuse me whilst I go get dressed up for dinner out, gonna curl my hair to integrate a new level of sexiness.

 

[Shutterbug99]

More oversharing on UOL, these really came out of nowhere. I guess he’s trying to get his guests to open up more by sharing his experiences..

“I remember back when I was around, when I was around 14 or 15, with somebody. I um was with a girl and I prematurely ejaculated, yeah, and I was so embarrassed, so ashamed yeah and um. In another kind of occasion a little while later, the same happened again

Some time later..

“I remember I, um, I fancied a photographer and I was like could you take some photos of me? Yeah, it's kind of like my way of let's hang and let's hang out anyway, she ended up taking these photos of me and it was like me in the water or me with the wet top on, and I remember when she sent them to me I didn't know what to think. I got so overwhelmed, I like. I looked at them in me and, let's say, provocatively or in a sexy way, I was like, oh my God. One of my friends grabbed my phone. He was like Jay, what's this? Oh, wow, you look great in these photos. I was like, are you sure? I feel a little bit nervous seeing myself like that. And he was like no, you look amazing. You should, you should totally share those photos. Yeah, which I did. And I remember this was kind of, let's say, a journey of, of integrating a level of sexiness”


Ok I’m absolutely DONE now- I can’t listen to him ever again. I’ll wash but I’ll never be clean

He might be talking about this set of photos. The photographer is the same woman he recently purchased the 'nude diving' print from. So he has been interested in her for a while....he basically paid her to hang out with him and take photos a few tears back and initiated contact again by buying a print/tagging her on Instagram right after Nims dumped him.

 

[earlgrey]

She got engaged to him. Twice.

 

[MargaritaMay]

He shares a lot in these UOL podcasts "I started this year. I was having a real low point. I was really out of sorts and I remember every morning I started like kind of building my, my, my structure and my strategy for kicking myself out of those circumstances. I did everything. I got up and I made my bed first because I wanted to have a sense of accomplishment and that prepped for the evening. I go downstairs and I challenge myself with a cold shower and again give myself that sense of I'm in control here and I fight my fears. But I actually remember I would hug myself and say exactly that I love and appreciate myself, I love and accept myself, I love and approve of myself. And I also added a fourth one, which is I love and acknowledge the hero that I am and I…I sat in those cold showers hugging myself and saying those lines and like I love and appreciate myself, like I sat with that as in, I appreciate who I am, how I am, how I'm showing up in the world, I approve. I say I love and approve of myself. I approve of who I am, how I, how I'm showing up in the world, and I'd love them to accept that. I'd love them to accept myself. The more I did that honestly, the more I did that honestly, the more I actually I remember certain points, sitting there hugging myself, going through that process and crying with like a feeling of jamie, you've come back to yourself, this is a big accomplishment, it's huge, it's huge and it's again. It's so easily lost right. And I did that. I said those lines mirror for a little while and I kind of rhymed and wrapped them in a couple of bit of form, but it wasn't until a very low point where I really grabbed them and I learned what it meant to actually say them, to feel them and to enjoy the benefit of that "

Oversharing and complaining in his podcasts no one was asking for ... Could he BE anymore of a total opposite of Joe?!

 

[randomuser070186]

He might be talking about this set of photos. The photographer is the same woman he recently purchased the 'nude diving' print from. So he has been interested in her for a while....he basically paid her to hang out with him and take photos a few tears back and initiated contact again by buying a print/tagging her on Instagram right after Nims dumped him.

She photographed his profile a lot- the only think he has going for him. It's actually really not that bad. But then he turns his head and word vomit comes out and it's all gone

 

[MargaritaMay]

He shares a lot in these UOL podcasts "I started this year. I was having a real low point. I was really out of sorts and I remember every morning I started like kind of building my, my, my structure and my strategy for kicking myself out of those circumstances. I did everything. I got up and I made my bed first because I wanted to have a sense of accomplishment and that prepped for the evening. I go downstairs and I challenge myself with a cold shower and again give myself that sense of I'm in control here and I fight my fears. But I actually remember I would hug myself and say exactly that I love and appreciate myself, I love and accept myself, I love and approve of myself. And I also added a fourth one, which is I love and acknowledge the hero that I am and I…I sat in those cold showers hugging myself and saying those lines and like I love and appreciate myself, like I sat with that as in, I appreciate who I am, how I am, how I'm showing up in the world, I approve. I say I love and approve of myself. I approve of who I am, how I, how I'm showing up in the world, and I'd love them to accept that. I'd love them to accept myself. The more I did that honestly, the more I did that honestly, the more I actually I remember certain points, sitting there hugging myself, going through that process and crying with like a feeling of jamie, you've come back to yourself, this is a big accomplishment, it's huge, it's huge and it's again. It's so easily lost right. And I did that. I said those lines mirror for a little while and I kind of rhymed and wrapped them in a couple of bit of form, but it wasn't until a very low point where I really grabbed them and I learned what it meant to actually say them, to feel them and to enjoy the benefit of that "

So he KNOWS he's a looser and a weirdo and hasn't achieved anything in his life and maybe he's been crtisied a lot (rightfully, but he thinks it's not loving when you get critisized) and couldn't cope being a functioning working adult in Ireland, so he has to repeat all these stupid mantras to himself to believe it. Jeez it's like, when a bully called you ugly or stupid at school and you had to work through the hurt and remind yourself "I'm pretty, I'm beautiful, I'm smart" I mean, it's fine and helpful for kids and teenagers... but umm, at 37?

 

[Callan]

Jamie’s first experience of doing Psychedelics : “I was blessed I had this group of entrepreneurial friends who were all very inspired from hearing rumours of this taking place with some of the top CEOs in San Fran. I remember we were like, what are they doing? We were all into biohacking at the time and this was like the edgy step forward for us. It was like you know, they're all doing all these bio hacks, but they're also talking about this. So we talked about it for months because we were nervous and we were anxious, but we were like we'll all do it together, four of us, all kind of in business for ourselves, and we found this beautiful space. We, we, actually we all, we all were so conscious of how to create the space. We were like let's make it really colour neutral, let's take down any..any like any artwork that might be distractive. So it's a really beautiful neutral environment. Let's light candles. We curated a playlist, we got eye masks and and …we did exactly this as well. We didn't micro dose, we took quite a big dose. The idea was that it was. We were just curious. So let's see what happened, and for me it was the most. It was such a..in reflection, it was probably one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, to be like there with four friends, adventuring, um, but like one of us, one of us led us through a little breath work exercise to kind of calm us all together.Another kind of talked about intentions and like opened the, opened the forum for us to discuss fears and and also kind of like ideas of what it might be, when none of us really knew what it was going to be. But it was so nice anyway. Then at a certain point we, we, one of my friends was almost like a bloody chemist. He whipped, he had grown mushrooms and then made them into these beautiful chocolate truffles and so so anyway, we took them, put our eye masks on and and laid down and for me, what just blew my mind was it was like my you know, when you close your eyes and you don't really see much. But it was like it was like kind of almost tuning in a TV that suddenly that space that is normally, normally just looks like static, started to almost tune in. And I like I suddenly I was remembering my dreams and I was like this is amazing.That was the dream I had the night before, and that was the night, the dream I had before, and I could see my dreams really clearly and I was like, oh, there's a message here. How have I not understood that? And then suddenly I could remember memories, but not just like you know how we kind of have a blurry memory. It was like I was literally taking a videotape in and putting it and I could rewind it. I could bring myself right into the room, I could look around in that room. I could remember like the smell in the air, the touch, if perhaps I was touching somebody or something like that. It was so precise and that shook me. I was like, wow, I have access to my dreams. I have access to my memory at a capacity I just didn't know was there. I just didn't know was there. And then ..then the strangest thing happened. I like it's like I was on a swivel chair and I swivelled around and I was at a board table with, like all these people which for now I would see as my guides, oh, wow, yes, are my ancestors, and they were like there's a wanted me to put on the Jamie voice. But no, it was like Jamie, you are way too distracted with your outside world and you have no idea the power and capacity that you have in here in your internal world. Can we encourage you to stop getting so, stop being so concerned of what the outside world thinks and wants of you and to journey deeper into yourself, because we promise you that if you go deeper into yourself and start honouring yourself, you're going to live on a whole different level. And you talked about a mission and it kind of inspired this thought. It was like so we want you to do this, this, this and this. And it wasn't like that was a third party. It genuinely felt like it was an internal part of me saying this is what we need to do, right, so you have been doing what you think you need to do based on what everybody else is saying out there. Here's what we should be doing from a really deep internal place, right. And I left and at that moment it was like you've got your message. Now just enjoy the joy of your imagination and the pleasure that your body can it can experience. And it was amazing.


I was taking on this like this unbelievable imaginative, like a symphony of just like oh my God, this is so creative. This is so beautiful, this is so entertaining, let's say, whilst at the same time, my body was experiencing what I would could only describe as full body orgasms. I was like this is amazing. And when I came out of it I was like I have the capacity to remember my dreams, go back through my memories like a vault tune into a part of myself that is like filter, free and uninfluenced by external perspective. It's like my truest voice. I can experience pleasure at a level I just never knew. And, oh my God, my imagination is better than any movie, any TV show. And it shook me. It shook me for weeks actually, because I was like I didn't know any of this was in there. This is amazing. And so began my mission.”

This isn't mushrooms, sounds like he took LSD or something... also this made me lol