Niomi Smart #2 Glitch in the Gleam Bot, I'll just have to put Joe's fennel teabag back

[Chocolate2008]

Does anyone think there is any chance of future reconciliation with them? As in Joe regretting it and trying to get her back.
It really shows how carefully she presented their relationship to us. I literally had the impression they never ever fought and that Joe was this perfect robot boyfriend. We only started to see the cracks in lockdown when he was always in the videos.

if she thought there was a chance of that why would she be so public about their split?

Joe seems very laid back. Maybe the nail in the coffin was that awful looking pizza on the balcony she’d just decked out! The man just wanted cheese!

She moved into that apartment like a whirlwind putting her stuff everywhere. If I were either brother I’d want her to tone it down.

if you watch the proposal video he does seems genuinely into it, to me anyways!


I don’t think Niomi really eats bread. A slice of rye bread sometimes.

 

[CheshireLove]

Jim used to do OTT presents for Tanya if anyone remembers and towards the end it seemed like he struggled to maintain that level - she had high expectations each time Christmases and birthdays rolled round, kind of understandably. But look how well that turned out?

On Joe (controversially) not wanting a smoothie bowl, she makes out like he was having something awful. I don’t understand how his toast with peanut butter and banana was so much worse? Like a smoothie bowl has a fair amount of sugar from the fruit and presumably the bread was wholemeal so ok in terms of bread. Or does Niomi not eat bread? I don’t watch her much so don’t know. It’s not like he was eating a fry-up or Pot Noodle?

Yeah, but Jim is a full blown ‘nice guy’ creepy narcissist.

Joe seems like a good bloke. I thought the gifts were romantic and thoughtful.

 

[palmer]

He also went to India earlier as well to get settled and then came back and they did the big move together. He probably could have been more proactive. The thing is, he was always going to go whether or not Niomi said she would come with him or not. I remember their conversations around the time they announced it and he said "I'm glad you've agreed to come with me" or something. He was going regardless and he had to give her a ring because it was the right thing to do. He had lots of time to propose beforehand and many of us thought it would come after those elaborate 12 days of Christmas things but it never did.

Exactly!! Ultimately, it comes down to this: he was going to go to India regardless, with or without her. He made that very clear. This means he would've essentially been prepared to drop her to go forward with this new job. When he decided to take the job (before she agreed to go with him), I'm sure he realized this might mean he and Niomi would break up. But he must've been ok with that to some extent. That says it all, in my opinion. One day he was willing to leave her, then she agrees to go to India with him, so suddenly he proposes? Clearly that was a rushed decision! He did it because he had to. Based on that, I don't think it would so 'out of the blue' for him to end their engagement now.

As you said, the reason he went to India for several weeks in December was supposedly to set everything up and find them a place to live, etc. (that's what she told us in her videos). I don't disagree that he seems somewhat incompetent, because he clearly didn't find them any apartment and they didn't even have their visas sorted out a week before their move!!! However, I think he just isn't someone who needs things to be perfectly planned and curated like Niomi is. I think he would have been happy to just wing it and fly to India, take the first decent apartment he can find, and start his new life on the spot. He's clearly laid back and doesn't feel the need to to think things through too much. I think she's a lot more difficult. I mean, she was getting their furniture custom made for them and stuff. It was all so OTT.

Don't forget we only ever got Niomi's version of things. And it's pretty clear by now that she tries her damn hardest to make her life seem more perfect than it likely is. She can't bear the idea of showing any kind of stains. When you realize that, I don't think it's far fetched to think that their relationship simply might have not been as great as she portrayed it to be. I don't think it necessarily has to be a specific incident; I don't think it even has to be about her eating habits per se. I think it's more of a general thing. Maybe he just realized they weren't the right fit and he just wasn't ready for marriage.

 

[coffeeandwine]

Does anyone think there is any chance of future reconciliation with them? As in Joe regretting it and trying to get her back.
It really shows how carefully she presented their relationship to us. I literally had the impression they never ever fought and that Joe was this perfect robot boyfriend. We only started to see the cracks in lockdown when he was always in the videos.

Niomi's potential situation actually reminds me of a friend of mine who was with her boyfriend for years before he proposed; they were making serious wedding plans and then seemingly out of nowhere he just broke it off. They got back together for a little bit but broke up again really soon after.

I think if Niomi and Joe did reconcile it wouldn't be long before they broke up again. It's just too hard to try and go back to the way things were when one person has said they're not ready for marriage and the other clearly is. That and I think a lot about their relationship would have to change and I just don't know if they'd be able to cope with all the effort that would take. I kind of hope they just make a clean break of it because if they got back together and then broke up again it would be twice as upsetting for Niomi.

 

[Chocolate2008]

Exactly!! Ultimately, it comes down to this: he was going to go to India regardless, with or without her. He made that very clear. This means he would've essentially been prepared to drop her to go forward with this new job. When he decided to take the job (before she agreed to go with him), I'm sure he realized this might mean he and Niomi would break up. But he must've been ok with that to some extent. That says it all, in my opinion. Based on that, I don't think it would so 'out of the blue' for him to end their engagement now.

As you said, the reason he went to India for several weeks in December was supposedly to set everything up and find them a place to live, etc. (that's what she told us in her videos). I don't disagree that he seems somewhat incompetent, because he clearly didn't find them any apartment and they didn't even have their visas sorted out a week before their move!!! However, I think he just isn't someone who needs things to be perfectly planned and curated like Niomi is. I think he would have been happy to just wing it and fly to India, take the first decent apartment he can find, and start his new life on the spot. He's clearly laid back and doesn't feel the need to to think things through too much. I think she's a lot more difficult. I mean, she was getting their furniture custom made for them and stuff. It was all so OTT.

Don't forget we only ever got Niomi's version of things. And it's pretty clear by now that she tries her damn hardest to make her life seem more perfect than it likely is. She can't bear the idea of showing any kind of stains. When you realize that, I don't think it's far fetched to think that their relationship simply might have not been as great as she portrayed it to be. I don't think it necessarily has to be a specific incident; I don't think it even has to be about her eating habits. I think it's more of a general thing. Maybe he just realized they weren't the right fit and he just wasn't ready for marriage.

Agree with you. I also don’t think they’re a great fit as I think it would be better for her to date someone like Freddie who comes across like he’d take the piss of she wanted him to eat a smoothie bowl in lieu of toast!

When you put it like that it is a bit odd that Joe was prepared to move to India without her but then proposed a few weeks later. Unless he thought they’d do long distance, that’s quite the distance though.

I’m sad for her as I’d say her world is shattered.

 

[Ramster93]

Welcome! Respectfully— I don’t mean this as an attack— I don’t agree it was too much to handle. Maybe if you’d just started dating someone and a bunch of tit happened it’d seem like your relationship never really got a chance. But they apparently considered themselves ready to take those vows and get married, for better or for worse. Marriage isn’t some cutesy thing meant for Pinterest that might take it easier on young, hot couples who ~seem besotted~, as everyone here says lol. It’s about vowing to face the storms of life together. It means you see the other person fully and are ready to accept them as your partner. You have NO IDEA what the next day of your life brings and that’s why marriage is so serious.

Something like moving to India is an adjustment, yes. If anything it probably cause Niomi to try to control her food and exercise more, maybe. But it’s important to remember that on all these ‘challenges’, both of them were given every privilege. They spent their ENTIRE STAY in India in a luxury hotel. As for COVID, literally everyone around the world... single, couples, married, family with babies or children, etc.... is or was in the same boat in terms of self isolating. And all couples just had to get through. But yet again Joe and Niomi were handed the best possible experience on a gold platter... a fully stocked little cabin of their own on private land and their family nearby. No financial worries at all. No children or even pets to care for. All the space to run around and be outside and others to shop for you and everything.

Also while it’s different now for different people, they got back to living their lives (dining out, socializing, moving back to London), a hell of a lot quicker than a lot of the world.

So if they couldn‘t handle that as a couple, it’s better to realize that now than try to take on life together.

THIS, THIS, THIS!!! this thread has started leaning towards pitying her and i really don't know why when nothing has changed, she's still as privileged as ever.

 

[Chocolate2008]

Niomi's potential situation actually reminds me of a friend of mine who was with her boyfriend for years before he proposed; they were making serious wedding plans and then seemingly out of nowhere he just broke it off. They got back together for a little bit but broke up again really soon after.

I think if Niomi and Joe did reconcile it wouldn't be long before they broke up again. It's just too hard to try and go back to the way things were when one person has said they're not ready for marriage and the other clearly is. That and I think a lot about their relationship would have to change and I just don't know if they'd be able to cope with all the effort that would take. I kind of hope they just make a clean break of it because if they got back together and then broke up again it would be twice as upsetting for Niomi.

I hope he finds someone he can eat toast & pizza with! I wonder will he always be her one that got away...

 

[Ramster93]

She went back already? I think we have our answer

Interesting, interesting, interesting. She's never been out with so many girlies before!

 

[palmer]

It was cute. The gifts were extremely personal too, like putting money in her Deliveroo for her to buy her favourite cake. However, I remember the first time he did it everyone speculated there would be a proposal on the day he came home and it was a countdown to that. Then he came home and had to go straight to work, barely saw her and no proposal and she sulked and cried through the rest of her vlogmas. I wonder if she was expecting a proposal that year and that contributed to the pressure for him to do it the next christmas?

I agree the engagement seemed really rushed, didn't he buy the ring on his India trip a few days before he came home and proposed?

Totally agree. While the gifts are cute, it's a lot to put on someone and I think he probably felt the pressure, especially knowing that she was flogging it all over the internet. He clearly was a busy guy and his job was taking a lot of his time and energy. On top of dealing with everything he had to deal with, he had to think of creative gifts to send her (from thousands of miles away) every single day. My guess is the first time he did it was because she had given him tit for going to India for 5 weeks up to Christmas, and he wanted/felt he had to do that to make up for it, which is fine. But I think it turned into a tradition sort of in spite of him, and it became a bit much.

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We moved to a foreign country together 2 years ago because of his job, so a similar situation. If he gave me gifts like that, I would be happy and would find it super cute, but I would also find it somewhat odd and over the top. We are adults with busy jobs -- who has time to do that?? Life isn't a Disney fairytale, but Niomi always tries to portray hers like it is. I highly doubt Joe would portray things in the same manner. From his perspective, it was probably a hell of a lot different than what she showed us. I mean, even now that something serious has clearly happened between them, she's STILL trying to play it off like her life is perfect and she's perfect in all circumstances. "Look at my perfect hair!, my perfectly flat stomach!, going for a nice swim!, having drinks with my friends!, Look, I'm smiling because i'm so happy and everything's great!" This girl will NEVER show any kind of weakness and it's honestly both disturbing and tiring.

 

[Ramster93]

Here's my theory:

I think the only reason Joe proposed in December was because of India. In all honesty, from what I could tell he never seemed that excited or ready to propose. I think he felt pressured, because Niomi very clearly had been wanting this for a while and she had now just agreed to move with him to to a foreign country. It also was going to make things easier for them in India. Being abroad as a non-married, non-engaged couple can be tricky if even just for legal purposes. The whole vibe of the engagement felt weird and rushed to me. It was like a last minute thing just a couple of weeks before moving. Plus he had been away on several weeks-long trips a couple of times and I think he also felt guilty for that to some extent. Without India, I don't believe for a second that he would have proposed at that time.

Anyway, come March 2020 and it turns out their 'big India move' has gone down the drain. In total, they were only there for a few weeks, which frankly seemed a little chaotic and messy with Niomi's refusing to settle on an apartment. The fact that she insisted they stayed in a hotel the whole time, and was being so difficult about committing to an apartment and furnishing it -- to me, that was her way of drawing things out because, at the end of the day, she didn't really want to accept this new reality of living permanently in India. She was trying to push the moment that this all became too 'real'.

So then they found themselves back in England, with no plans to go back to India. Joe apparently lost (or gave up?) the job. They both went into the lockdown together, stuck in that little cottage for a while, just the two of them. Niomi started going ham on the wedding planning, probably pressuring him to start making concrete plans and making decisions. I believe this is when Joe realized that he didn't really want this. The only reason he had proposed was because of India, and now there was no India. I think it really started to hit him what he had committed himself to, and he just didn't feel ready for this.

To me, one of the biggest giveaways is this whole 'moving in with Freddie' thing. As others have mentioned, it's pretty weird for an engaged couple, who has lived together for a while, to suddenly move in with a third person. If that was going to be a short term arrangement while they found a new place, maybe. But she mentioned they would be there for at least a year. By that time, they would likely be married already! So what were they going to do, get married one day and then go home to their shared apartment with Freddie as a newly wed couple? Weird as hell. But I think this move was calculated on Joe's part. I think he didn't want to commit to a new lease with Niomi because at this point he had realized he might not want to go through with things. He was slowly preparing the ground for his escape, so to speak.

At first I was skeptical, because these two are so bleeping bland and dull I honestly didn't think either of them would have the guts to break things off, no matter how obvious it became that they might not be the best fit. I didn't think Joe would have it in him to pull the plug. BUT at this point I don't think there's any denying possible. Normally, Niomi is attached to the hip with Joe. Whenever he's not around, she will go on and on about how much she misses him and show us all the gifts he's sending her to make up for his absence (complete overcompensation btw). And when he IS around she will not give him a second to himself. She is completely obsessed with the guy. The fact that she was at home with her mom for a while, then came to London for one day to see her friends, and is now back in Brighton. With NO mention of Joe the whole time, despite her 'going through something'?? There's NO way he's still in the picture. She would've 100% made sure to show us how thoughtful Joe is to her, otherwise.

Plus, she is pulling all the classic post-breakup moves. She seems to be hanging out with anyone she can, every day. "Catching up" with all her girlfriends that she hasn't seen in a while, one by one. It really looks like she's trying hard to keep herself busy to get over the breakup...

In sum, while I did not expect this to happen now, I am actually not shocked and it really all makes sense when you think about it. If we are right, then I'm glad they've ended things before it was too late.

this is the most perfect theory, big +1 from me.

Totally agree with the above! I’ve seen this before with another girl I went to uni with who was really beautiful and seemingly perfect, but living a perfect life isn’t a sustainable reality. Life is messy and relationships aren’t perfect (I feel like the fact everything appeared perfect is such an alarm bell). It always felt like she was trying soo hard to make him seem like Prince Charming, the gifts etc.. it was all just too much! And of course he would have played into it because she is gorgeous and worships him and no doubt he was really in love with her/the idea of her.

But after a couple of years you just want to be with someone who makes you laugh and who you can lie on the sofa eating a gross takeaway with. Not someone who forcefeeds you perfectly proportioned quinoa with a cacao nib surprise.

"caco nib surprise", hahaha. the last 2 sentences couldn't be truer.

 

[Buffalonian0809]

I always felt the engagement came only because of India and the sacrifices she was willing to make? But who goes through all that and gets both of their families involved if deep down he wasn’t sure this was what he really wanted? Remember the families had several dinners and parties to celebrate? It’s all very messy and honestly, it seems horribly ill conceived for a guy in his 30s.

 

[Ramster93]

Must be Smoothie Bowl weather!

 

[Bleurghgram]

People change their minds. He proposed 8 months ago, he may well have wanted it then. Look how much has changed in the world since.

 

[bottie1000]

I always felt the engagement came only because of India and the sacrifices she was willing to make? But who goes through all that and gets both of their families involved if deep down he wasn’t sure this was what he really wanted? Remember the families had several dinners and parties to celebrate? It’s all very messy and honestly, it seems horribly ill conceived for a guy in his 30s.

Thats what i'm thinking. I do genuinely think he wanted to marry her! Yes maybe India was the catalyst in all this, but they had been dating for a fews years and it seemed like the next natural step and he seemed to in love with her on her proposal vlog. The fact they made a huge thing out of it too, with all the parties and celebrations and posting about the wedding. It just seems so odd that in the space of a few months you can go from that to breaking up with someone! Unless lockdown just turned her into a nightmare and scared him off. But you think you owe it to your fiancé and yourself to work through any issues that may have arisen during a lockdown, which isn't representative of normal life and not just call quits! Seems like such a lazy way out, i'm not saying relationships should be hard, but people aren't always perfect, and he owed it to her to help her work through her issues or whatever it might have been rather than dump her.

 

[getawaywithit]

Perhaps it’s Niomi that did the dumping.

 

[Chocolate2008]

Perhaps it’s Niomi that did the dumping.

I really really doubt that.

 

[Ramster93]

Thats what i'm thinking. I do genuinely think he wanted to marry her! Yes maybe India was the catalyst in all this, but they had been dating for a fews years and it seemed like the next natural step and he seemed to in love with her on her proposal vlog. The fact they made a huge thing out of it too, with all the parties and celebrations and posting about the wedding. It just seems so odd that in the space of a few months you can go from that to breaking up with someone! Unless lockdown just turned her into a nightmare and scared him off. But you think you owe it to your fiancé and yourself to work through any issues that may have arisen during a lockdown, which isn't representative of normal life and not just call quits! Seems like such a lazy way out, i'm not saying relationships should be hard, but people aren't always perfect, and he owed it to her to help her work through her issues or whatever it might have been rather than dump her.

I agree with you but there could have been issues since the move in January and then lockdown (remember she always paints a picture-perfect life). It's been 7-8 months, life is short. I don't blame him for moving on if he wants to do that, it's within his rights to do so. Marriage is for better or for worse and they clearly didn't pass that test.

Besides, I know miserable couples that get engaged and seem happy for a week because it's all a very exciting time. They could have had old issues which resurfaced nonetheless, we'll never really know for sure.

Perhaps it’s Niomi that did the dumping.

I don't think so. Her pride alone would have kept her in it for another year.

 

[Chocolate2008]

Thats what i'm thinking. I do genuinely think he wanted to marry her! Yes maybe India was the catalyst in all this, but they had been dating for a fews years and it seemed like the next natural step and he seemed to in love with her on her proposal vlog. The fact they made a huge thing out of it too, with all the parties and celebrations and posting about the wedding. It just seems so odd that in the space of a few months you can go from that to breaking up with someone! Unless lockdown just turned her into a nightmare and scared him off. But you think you owe it to your fiancé and yourself to work through any issues that may have arisen during a lockdown, which isn't representative of normal life and not just call quits! Seems like such a lazy way out, i'm not saying relationships should be hard, but people aren't always perfect, and he owed it to her to help her work through her issues or whatever it might have been rather than dump her.

tbh if he changed his mind pre marriage I think the better thing to do is break up pre lifetime commitment. Once you vow to marry someone I do think you should take the for better or worse seriously.

 

[bottie1000]

Perhaps it’s Niomi that did the dumping.

highly doubt that, she bought a book on heartbreak, you don't do that unless your the one who's heart has been broken.

 

[Chocolate2008]

Why is she checking herself out in a mirror on camera?!