Mumsnet #48 Cherchez la spunk splatter

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marjorytrashheap said:
I just want to whinge briefly about the mumsnet Christmas forum. Not about it existing, but because it’s my guilty pleasure to read and the usual knobheads don’t really go there. It’s mostly people who like to faff doing crafts and making chutney. And also people who buy their kids giant piles of presents and are tit hot at finding bargains. I lurk vicariously because I’m too cack handed to crochet penguins, I really can’t bleeping cook (despite years of having to do it because I can’t afford a personal chef or takeaways every night) and am too lazy for bargain hunting. And I like reading the threads about Nigel Slater and fancy gin, so sue me.

But at the moment it’s been infiltrated by twats who are all “is anyone just not feeling Christmas this year? Is it all a mass capitalist conspiracy? What’s the point?” Oh DO duck off back to the entire rest of mumsnet please. No one is expecting you to be thinking about Christmas in October, you’ve chosen to come and smear your misery over a clearly labelled forum for the exact thing you don’t like! Leave my crafty chutney makers alone!
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That sums them up on most threads. I didn’t know there was a Christmas section. I’m tempted to take a look as I also enjoy reading of bargains, recipes, etc for Christmas.

The travel forum is no different. Someone will ask whether x or y is better for a honeymoon/teenagers/people in their 60s and immediately you’ll get people saying most people can’t afford a bus ride to the next town and how “tone deaf” they are being for discussing 5-star Caribbean resorts.
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GirlWithThePearlEarhole said:
I read as in addition to having all her teeth out she’d broken her back! 😂
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Must be all that cleaning she’s doing. Oh, wait a minute…
 
We'll be getting the performative "can anyone explain Christmas Eve boxes" shite soon.

No, Drusilla, if the name alone doesn't communicate to you what they are and what their purpose is, you're just going to have to accept that they are beyond your comprehension. It cannot be simplified any further. You will just have to remain permanently slack jawed and confused by films and consumables. Please don't ever handle anything more dangerous than a spoon. You are a liability.
 
ShopTilYouSlop said:
We'll be getting the performative "can anyone explain Christmas Eve boxes" shite soon.

No, Drusilla, if the name alone doesn't communicate to you what they are and what their purpose is, you're just going to have to accept that they are beyond your comprehension. It cannot be simplified any further. You will just have to remain permanently slack jawed and confused by films and consumables. Please don't ever handle anything more dangerous than a spoon. You are a liability.
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‘But whyyyyy do children need Christmas pyjamas? It’s so wasteful to have a pair of pyjamas they wear one day a year and if you give them hot chocolate they’ll be too fat to wear them next christmas which is even more wasteful’
 
marjorytrashheap said:
I just want to whinge briefly about the mumsnet Christmas forum. Not about it existing, but because it’s my guilty pleasure to read and the usual knobheads don’t really go there. It’s mostly people who like to faff doing crafts and making chutney. And also people who buy their kids giant piles of presents and are tit hot at finding bargains. I lurk vicariously because I’m too cack handed to crochet penguins, I really can’t bleeping cook (despite years of having to do it because I can’t afford a personal chef or takeaways every night) and am too lazy for bargain hunting. And I like reading the threads about Nigel Slater and fancy gin, so sue me.

But at the moment it’s been infiltrated by twats who are all “is anyone just not feeling Christmas this year? Is it all a mass capitalist conspiracy? What’s the point?” Oh DO duck off back to the entire rest of mumsnet please. No one is expecting you to be thinking about Christmas in October, you’ve chosen to come and smear your misery over a clearly labelled forum for the exact thing you don’t like! Leave my crafty chutney makers alone!
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I agree!!

‘I must say I am feeling distinctly bah humbug this year!’ ‘I’m thinking of just saying sod the whole thing!!’

OK then why are you here?! This is our Christmas corner! Go post in AIBU where they’ll all agree with you. They really must suck the absolute joy out of everything and everyone in their lives. I’d hate to be in an office with or related to any of them.
 
Iamthebosun said:
‘But whyyyyy do children need Christmas pyjamas? It’s so wasteful to have a pair of pyjamas they wear one day a year and if you give them hot chocolate they’ll be too fat to wear them next christmas which is even more wasteful’
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I love the fact they think Christmas Eve Pyjamas is a new thing I'm 40 and I used to get a new set for Christmas Eve usually with a bottle of Matey bubble bath or Avons pearly peach 😂 It really isn't this radical new thing they make it out to be
 
Zara zara said:
I love the fact they think Christmas Eve Pyjamas is a new thing I'm 40 and I used to get a new set for Christmas Eve usually with a bottle of Matey bubble bath or Avons pearly peach 😂 It really isn't this radical new thing they make it out to be
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Omg matey bubble bath!!! My sister and I were desperate to get our hands on a bottle. Never happened. That and a Mr Frosty
 
Zara zara said:
I love the fact they think Christmas Eve Pyjamas is a new thing I'm 40 and I used to get a new set for Christmas Eve usually with a bottle of Matey bubble bath or Avons pearly peach 😂 It really isn't this radical new thing they make it out to be
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We always used to get new PJ's on Christmas Eve (not specifically Christmas themed, so worn all year) and some lovely festive bubble bath - probably to encourage us to go to bed. We were also given mugs of ovaltine to take up to bed.
 
Tretps29 said:
Omg matey bubble bath!!! My sister and I were desperate to get our hands on a bottle. Never happened. That and a Mr Frosty
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I always wanted a toy post office with the little window. I don’t like to mention it (apart from every bleeping Christmas when the subject comes up 🤣🤣)
I had a mr frosty though, it was…unremarkable 🤣
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Oh and I buy my kid her Christmas PJs in September (so she gets her wear out of them and she obliges 🤣)
 
It was actually the baffled mentioning of Xmas Eve boxes on MN that persuaded me to try it for the first time during lockdown, I had never heard of it before they all ranted about it. So shot yourself in the collective feet there, ya bunch of misery-mongers.

My son was by that point 25 and now I live alone, but I'm eagerly awaiting the day he produces some grandchildren so I can make one for them. Swiftly followed by a thread "AIBU that my son and DIL have unfairly gone NC because I put Red Bull in the GCs Xmas Eve Boxes"
 
ShopTilYouSlop said:
We'll be getting the performative "can anyone explain Christmas Eve boxes" shite soon.

No, Drusilla, if the name alone doesn't communicate to you what they are and what their purpose is, you're just going to have to accept that they are beyond your comprehension. It cannot be simplified any further. You will just have to remain permanently slack jawed and confused by films and consumables. Please don't ever handle anything more dangerous than a spoon. You are a liability.
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Genius - you are my God 😂
 
We never did any pyjama things, but we would have a pillowcase of presents at the end of the bed which we’d open first thing before going down to open the ones under the tree.

I think I was about 7 or 8 when I found out Father Christmas wasn’t real and I was gutted! I had a bit of a fascination with myths, fairy stories and fantasy when I was a kid - I had a fake jewel given to me by my nan which I was convinced would open a secret door to a fairy world.
 
Freda Fandango said:
It's in relationships, would tattoos put you off a guy?

Apparently they make you look poor🤣

Which in mumsnet is only one step above Jeffrey Dahmer
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Has anyone referred them to a picture of King Frederik IX of Denmark? Or even the current King Fred showing his legs?

For the UK, both Edward VII and George V had tattoos.

Such poor people.

PS I have nine tattoos so I'm properly beyond the pale.
 
marjorytrashheap said:
And I like reading the threads about Nigel Slater and fancy gin, so sue me.
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I love the read along with Nigel thread - it's the sort of Christmas I want to have, but mine will be ruined by having three pre-teen boys who will want to eat cheesy footballs, twiglets and shop bought mince pies. Plus whatever noxious flavour of crisps they see in any shop between now and January. The worst one year was Christmas tree flavour - tasted like they'd had a passing argument with loo cleaner :sick:

I like Christmas though - I'm half Swedish and so always had two days of Christmas growing up. I don't many of the Swedish things now, but do have Swedish foods on Christmas eve, mainly as I love meatballs. (Although again the bloody pre-teens moan and say the Ikea ones are better...)
 
I’ve mentioned this before, but my dad, who was born in 1934, had a variant of a Christmas Eve box, or at least as much as was possible in war time. Mum would tell me dad was ‘posh’ though, she didn’t have anything special, but for dad there was always a treat or a book etc, even if it was cobbled together by my nan.
 
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