butla
VIP Member
These MILs are just full of bitterness and unhappiness. Take a step away from the old cow! She's not your mother. Cut off the toxicity for your own sake .
Mother in law experiences #4
- Thread starter NoHintOfDrama
- Start date
1
Totally agree. I stepped away from my MIL when she was still alive. I now have very little to do with my SIL too. Toxic. I used to try very hard for many years especially when my children were small. Now I make no effort. It has done me the world of good.
cowtastrophe
VIP Member
Emails I’ve had from MiL in the last week:
Sober October - How it affects your body
Rethinking the UK’s approach to dying
Are you eating too much?
Financial recycling
Think she’s trying to tell me something.
Sober October - How it affects your body
Rethinking the UK’s approach to dying
Are you eating too much?
Financial recycling
Think she’s trying to tell me something.
Northern northener
VIP Member
I bet her dinner parties are a bundle of laughs..
Rita Chevrolet
VIP Member
Guest speaker from Dignitas possibly?
OatMatchaLatte
VIP Member
Mine is coming today 
fortunately not until late afternoon and I’d already booked an early train to go to see my dad tomorrow. What a shame, never mind. Still, one dinner is one more than I need.
fortunately not until late afternoon and I’d already booked an early train to go to see my dad tomorrow. What a shame, never mind. Still, one dinner is one more than I need.
butla
VIP Member
So who's got their misery loves company, bitter, depressing , living in the past, slags off everyone ... MIL for Christmas? The past 3 years we've gone out because it breaks up the day because I can't bare to listen to her moan , interfere with cooking, judge my every move , comment on anything new in the house ( you like new and nice things don't you .... well bleeping duh don't every bleep ) !!! But this year due to close family member being unwell and things uncertain.. we're hosting. How the duck am I gonna cope with this old miserable judgemental old bag ?!! She ruined last years. Really brought the festive feelings... please lord someone save me ! Hope she pisses off Boxing Day and just dare her bleeping say a word during Gavin and Stacey. I'm dreading it!!
Northern northener
VIP Member
I do feel for you. Mines in a home with dementia now and although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's given us as a massive break from this kind of nonsense.
Mine...would always arrive late, and not take her coat off (no matter how hot the house was). Would criticise the children's gifts, they were either wrong or were being spoiled. She would pick at perfectly good food with a look of disgust. Would talk about how Christmas is always perfect at her daughter's. Always looked disappointed with her gifts, refused to say thank you. She hated TV being on so we would sit making small talk which was negative, negative, negative. Strictly no alcohol for anyone, not even a bit of fizz with the meal. Rudely nudging her husband and eye rolling when I spoke or tried to interact with anyone. She hated whatever I was wearing and hated my choice in decor.
In the end we just stopped inviting her. Eventually all her children stopped inviting her so they were at home alone each year with plated food to warm up in the microwave, grim. Totally unnecessary, she just needed to be nice for a few hours.
Mollywobbles
VIP Member
You just need to answer her properly.
You like new and nice things. Oh yes WE do. Hubby and I love choosing new things for the house. He has such good taste.
Moans about the cooking. Oh ,I hope you like it. It’s hubbies/ children’s favourite and they so wanted to share it with you.
Gavin and Stacey, oh this is our favourite. I hop you love it as much as we do. So glad you are here to enjoy it with us
Turn every moan into something cheerful. And enjoy watching her squirm
Rita Chevrolet
VIP Member
Yeah............................. "Touché you old bag!!" LOL
DanDanTheIceCreamMan
VIP Member
Luckily for me my in-laws never once invited us for xmas (what a shame, never mind 
), pair of miserable sods. So we've never had to deal with them over the holidays.
Does she have to stay over? I'd be tempted to give her a lumpy mattress and turn the heating down in her room to make sure she doesn't want to stay longer
Seriously though, all you can do is have the day YOU want knowing full well she'll complain whatever you do anyway.
), pair of miserable sods. So we've never had to deal with them over the holidays.Does she have to stay over? I'd be tempted to give her a lumpy mattress and turn the heating down in her room to make sure she doesn't want to stay longer
Seriously though, all you can do is have the day YOU want knowing full well she'll complain whatever you do anyway.
butla
VIP Member
She does stay at ours . She hasn't visited us all year ( yey!) . Sciatica excuses but where's Sciatica when I need it !!! Oh it'll miraculously disappear. Over 40 years ago her now dead ex husband told her their marriage was over on Christmas Day evening. I'm talking 45 years... she bleeping loves quoting him verbatim as the actual time anniversary hits the clock . Now I can understand if it was recent but it's not also he's dead and also she's had 2 or 3 relationships since then .. also I think they were married for 10 years.. and 45 years have lapsed since. Now I have had to listen to this same story every Christmas. Get over it . Literally get over it . I'm warning my husband to tell her no one wants to hear the story .. least of all him . I feel for him . He really is the most kindest son . I'd have no problem if it was my own mum saying ... shut the duck up mum lol .. but he's not like me .. but he was a bit firmer last year. I can and will ignore her comments ( oh you're much slimmer from the back than the front ) ... now that one really got to me and put me in an awful place for weeks.. I will answer with positives when she says a negative... but lord it will take all I've got in me !!!! I love Christmas. I've always made it special for me and my children (from previous relationship) .. it's always been our special time of year. Never really been the same since she's shared them us . Isn't it funny how other people spend Christmas... she's just not like us .. I must try not thinking about it or it'll start feeling even worse than it will be .
Laylaybelle
Active member
I often moan about mine but also feel lucky as we never see her.
She is always “too busy” to visit, never sees the kids or even remembers their names, never phones or remember anyone’s birthdays. Yet spends loads of time with her daughters children and takes them on holiday every year.
My eldest calls her “deadbeat Grandma”
She is always “too busy” to visit, never sees the kids or even remembers their names, never phones or remember anyone’s birthdays. Yet spends loads of time with her daughters children and takes them on holiday every year.
My eldest calls her “deadbeat Grandma”
Northern northener
VIP Member
It's hard to believe these people exist! What do they gain other than short term one-upmanship. As my daughter gets married next year I've decided I will really try to be a good mother in law and hopefully a good grandma that doesn't cause problems 
. It's so important to me that toxic family stuff stops with our generation.
. It's so important to me that toxic family stuff stops with our generation.
threeSMEGfridges
VIP Member
?
getthefrockout69
Active member
Where to begin 
my sons funeral was all about her and how he was her grandson ...
Aunties funeral again all about her every person she spoke to had to hear how it was all about her
Called me fat whist out for dinner one night went to one of thoses up market places where you get 8 chips a lettuce leaf and half a burger I slowly ate mine as they had full Sunday roast
Moaned that I had a large suitcase for 10 days coastal holiday
my sons funeral was all about her and how he was her grandson ...Aunties funeral again all about her every person she spoke to had to hear how it was all about her
Called me fat whist out for dinner one night went to one of thoses up market places where you get 8 chips a lettuce leaf and half a burger I slowly ate mine as they had full Sunday roast
Moaned that I had a large suitcase for 10 days coastal holiday
Rita Chevrolet
VIP Member
I am so grateful I no longer have MiLs!
DanDanTheIceCreamMan
VIP Member
BiB Was she in Eastenders? Although that was only 38 years ago
You could always put it on if you have enough and just want to see her combust...My in-laws have been divorced over 20 years (she divorced him - they'd been miserable for the longest time). He had a relationship after they split and the partner (perfectly nice woman) was always referred to as "that bleep". Just couldn't help herself but be nasty.
Maybe you could play MIL bingo. Think of her stock phrases and mentally tick them off when they come up, it might help to make light of it and if you get a full house you can treat yourself to a bottle of Baileys or something ❤
CrazyGiraffeLady
VIP Member
Do we have the same mil? Mines met my five year old once, two year old once and never met my baby. Absolute fuckin cow she isI often moan about mine but also feel lucky as we never see her.
She is always “too busy” to visit, never sees the kids or even remembers their names, never phones or remember anyone’s birthdays. Yet spends loads of time with her daughters children and takes them on holiday every year.
My eldest calls her “deadbeat Grandma”