Don't know how that book ended up getting published though.She does what every " wannabe writer" with no actual talent does and uses a thesaurus for everything, hence the Jarring and absolutely COMICAL results. It's like you really thought you did something there Mel, huh?
Reminds me of my translation classes. I'm not a native English speaker and go to uni in a non-English speaking country so have to take two translation classes for my degree. Last semester some people were struggling with vocabulary so before one of our tests the lecturer was saying "If you can't find the right word just describe it somehow!" (The test was more about the correct use of grammar than vocabulary anyway) and it just makes it all seem even more stupid to me Can't she just use normal words?