Mason Mount #24 We want socks not stats & the FBC are starting a band

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keylimepie said:
Oh I would only look through if the worse ever happened. If not I’d just comment on one of his posts something only we would know and see who liked it

Can I ask everyone and maybe it’s just me but does anyone else get the ick when looking at Jack Grealish’s calves? Sorry to mention him here but I’ve seen so many posts on insta of him and his calf muscles make me feel weird 😂
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Not me! I wouldn't bite them like @PunkRocker but...if they were in my bed I wouldn't complain at all! His body is great in general and his thighs🥵🥵 I have found him attractive for more than two years and despite Mase claiming his spot he is still up there (liked him better with the old hair though)
To be fair I found tattle because of him 😅😅

jflurker93 said:
They don’t give me the ick, but I don’t really fancy him. I appreciate hes good looking but the lack of intelligence is such a turn off for me 😂
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:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:I don't really need him to talk for what I want from him!

jflurker93 said:
THE BARBER IS THERE 🚨
THE BARBER IS THERE 🚨


false alarm it’s an old video he only posted on tiktok today ffs

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duck, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Thank God it was just a false alarm!!


keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
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Happy that this time I was with Kepa :giggle: but if you are dreaming about Voldemort is probably time to stop taking Tramadol!
 
jflurker93 said:
Absolutely, @keylimepie will have to be maid of honour just because I wouldn’t be here now without her, but the rest of you can definitely be bridesmaids!

Mykonos hen do? 😉
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I might have to give your wedding a miss. Seeing how things are playing out, I might have to wade through Atlanta, Plant Based, Latin, Natasha and Jennifer 😂😂

jflurker93 said:
Oh zaza @keylimepie 😇😇😇

I know at first I was unsure about Luke but I think i’ve hit the bloody jackpot❤

Love that again, me & punkie were like max & paddy 👊🏻 cya cl h0e

Gutted you didn’t get a porking though 🥺 Maybe soon, I wonder if the wedding will pop up in your dreams.

Sheep cake? Hell yes!!
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I’m using the phrase send memes as opposed to send nudes. I need cheering up 😂😂

Deffo Mykonos!!
 
keylimepie said:
I might have to give your wedding a miss. Seeing how things are playing out, I might have to wade through Atlanta, Plant Based, Latin, Natasha and Jennifer 😂😂


I’m using the phrase send memes as opposed to send nudes. I need cheering up 😂😂

Deffo Mykonos!!
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I will tell Luke that Mason is only allowed to come to the wedding on his own and if he is single.

I bet he got an earful off me after voldemort turned up and upsetting my bestie 😡
 
jflurker93 said:
Oh zaza @keylimepie 😇😇😇

I know at first I was unsure about Luke but I think i’ve hit the bloody jackpot❤

Love that again, me & punkie were like max & paddy 👊🏻 cya cl h0e

Gutted you didn’t get a porking though 🥺 Maybe soon, I wonder if the wedding will pop up in your dreams.

Sheep cake? Hell yes!!
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I suppose I'm Max in this scenario 😂
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Eden246 said:
I don’t know how; Mason’s not even that hot and he looks like a boy 🙄

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Because we are fangirls! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣
 
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