Mason Mount #24 We want socks not stats & the FBC are starting a band

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keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
Click to expand...

He taught me all I know, this ones for you Pebbles 😘

Hang on a minute. He’s hotter than I’ve ever given him credit for. You seen the size of those hands?! Wow.

 
keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
Click to expand...
 
keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
Click to expand...
Timo being a sub lives rent free in my head 😂😂
 
Fell down a hole looking at the good barber Insta and it looks like he goes to Daddy’s house and Im obsessed that daddy has really boring tea, coffee and sugar canisters and a glass full of straws 🤣
3450F988-B87F-4D59-BEFC-DA9ED318905B.jpeg
CBD4820C-B044-4AA3-961D-D3B8C94205DF.jpeg
 
keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
Click to expand...
Dying at Voldemort 🤣😂
 
jflurker93 said:
don’t because I thought last night have I outed myself and I had to check but I think you can only find me on his with my full name 😂😂😂
Click to expand...

I'm easily identifiable as you all know...just call me instahoe :ROFLMAO:

jflurker93 said:
They don’t give me the ick, but I don’t really fancy him. I appreciate hes good looking but the lack of intelligence is such a turn off for me 😂
Click to expand...

Beautiful arse and thighs but I cannot get over how thick he is... even on that latest video he's just so vacant! I can't imagine ever being able to have a proper conversation with him... polar opposites in that department :ROFLMAO:

I'm in such a bad mood today... had a dream about my ex - he was in the pub with his new girlfriend (who he was seeing behind my back) and it all got a little bit lairy...get out of my brain!!!! :mad:
 
keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
Click to expand...

Bloody hell he must have fallen on really dry times if he's resorted to dipping his wick back in Cl hoe!
Sounds like a great party, congratulations @jflurker93 🤣
And I'm so sorry for being a blabbermouth @Scuffed 🙈 I'm a gobshite when I've had a few!
Sorry you haven't been porked yet @keylimepie 🙁 I'd say move on, it's probably not worth it but I think it absolutely would be worth it so hang in there 🤤😂
 
keylimepie said:
So this dream occurs approximately 6 months after the Apprentice Cafe Breakfast please bear with me as it’s early and I haven’t spell checked it. 😘



I was sitting in my car on the way to work when @jflurker93 gives me a call. Her and Luke had lived on their Cheshire farm for 3 months and they had gotten engaged!!!! They were throwing a party for the FBC and the boys in the barn.

I hadn’t heard from Mason for several months and had heard that he was dipping his wick in several instahoes 😭😭😭😭😭 I was dreading seeing him and his new hoe at the party.



So. Party time began.

@Geraldine.20.jobs had been seeing Chilly for a while and had agreed that he could see other girls. He had several FBC ladies around him. @Isanythingrealanymore, @SmoochL and @nellylozx had all well and truly boarded the Chilly train.

@PunkRocker brought dickboy on a leash. He was wearing some weird leather hot pants and leather tank top. It was traumatising if I’m honest!

@calmyourritas brought a whole case of tequila, whipped her top off and put her tits in Tyrone Mings face. He didn’t seem to complain.

Kyle Walker turned up with a pregnant @Scuffed and @GGina. They had the same due date….

@Suder34 and DCL had been exclusive since the last meet up. He had got a tattoo of Suder’s face on his left arm. He was love struck.

Deccers turned up with Lauren and Rafa. He spent the night looking at Scuffed thinking what could have been and shitting himself that Lauren would find out.

Gnasher bought some White Lightning to the party. He had to get one of the bigger boys to buy it for him as he left his ID at home.

Dele and @irishgal2013 were avoiding each other. Irish later explained that Dele didn’t have a big one and it was the worst sex she had ever had. She did get VIP treatment at Spurs though.

Dennis and @Tabbytiger had brought a karaoke machine along and were really desperate to perform a number they had been practising. This song was Love Machine by Girls Aloud.

Kane was sat in the corner with @MensaBarbie1985. His mouth was constantly open and Mensa struggled to understand what he was saying half the time.

@Chani10 was there with Kai. Timbo was frantically talking to them in German when Punkie was distracted by the dancing.

@Eden246 was with Pebbles and they had entered a dancing competition because they had become so in sync with each other.

@QueenL was chasing after Kepa. They disappeared for a while….

@GGina and Reece kissed all night. I didn’t think they came up for air at all.



I was stood on my own as everyone was talking when Deccers came and spoke to me. He asked if I had spoken to Mason recently. I said I hadn’t 😞 He said you might want to brace yourself when he gets here. I said why? Then before Dec could say anything more, in strolled Mase WITH VOLDEMORT!!!!!



Jflurker and Punkie were up in arms. Luke had to hold Jflurker back from punching her in the throat. Everyone looked at me and I started to cry. I ran out of the barn into the Alpaca field. @calmyourritas came outside to see if I was ok. She told me that it’s his bleeping loss and I deserve better. She also instructed me to make him jealous.

I went back inside with calmyourritas.

Jflurker was raging at Luke for not telling her hoebag was to make an appearance. Punkie had Timbo growl at her. Rafa the dog hid under the table from Timbo.



Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford came along just after the outrage of Volderhoe’s entrance. They joked it seemed like a wake. The funny thing was a wake would have been more cheerful.

Voldemort and Lauren went and sat on a hay bale both up each other’s arseholes and started talking about make up.



I was sat on my own in the opposite corner to them when Mason walks over. I was furious. Got up and began to walk away from him when he pulled me back. I told him not to touch me and never to speak to me again 😭😭 He said for me not to be like that and he really wanted to talk. I walked off and headed over to @laylavd and @Smca54 to escape him.



Jflurker’s ring was massive! Beautiful diamond bling! Luke was looking at her like no other girl existed.



Punkie got drunk and outed Dec’s night of passion with Scuffed. Lauren said who’s scuffed. Scuffed tried to hide behind Kyle but her pregnant belly was soon exposed. Lauren then shouted to Dec did you do that? Kyle said “well it is possible” trying to dodge the child support payments I presume.

Lauren took Rafa and left Dec standing in the barn looking dejected. Scuffed went over to comfort him. Kyle was secretly delighted.



Her Royal Hoeness Voldemort started a row and announced the FBC were all skanks because we did her mate dirty. Jflurker and Punkie threw her out on her arse. Cl hoe demanded Mason left with her when he said no he was staying. She was not happy. Mason spent the evening trying to speak with me and got full shutdown keylimepie!



Everyone enjoyed the rest of the party and celebrated the happy couple. They had a sheep engagement cake 😂



When it ended, Dec came across to me, gave me a hug and said “He wants to be with you you know” I said oh really? Then why did he bring her!!! Dec shrugged his shoulders and walked out. Mase had one last attempt to speak. I didn’t bite and he walked out half smiling, half crestfallen 😞😞



That’s all I got up to. Still no pork for me 😩😩 I will be spending the rest of my day eating my body weight in Jammy Dodgers to cure my depression of Voldemort with my man and entering my dream. How dare she.

loving you are all getting you own dreams! Maybe I’ll have more success in your ones 😭😭😭😭
Click to expand...

FRIENDLY SUGGESTION EVERYONE!
DO NOT READ THIS IN THE OFFICE WITH ALL OF YOUR COWORKERS THERE!
The looks I got...




Disappointed by Daddy...



@keylimepie I predict at the wedding you'll finally taste the Portsmouth sausage! ✨manifesting✨
 
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PunkRocker said:
Bloody hell he must have fallen on really dry times if he's resorted to dipping his wick back in Cl hoe!
Sounds like a great party, congratulations @jflurker93 🤣
And I'm so sorry for being a blabbermouth @Scuffed 🙈 I'm a gobshite when I've had a few!
Sorry you haven't been porked yet @keylimepie 🙁 I'd say move on, it's probably not worth it but I think it absolutely would be worth it so hang in there 🤤😂
Click to expand...
Howling at not been porked yet! God I love you girls

Eden246 said:
He is a beautiful specimen! Always glossed over him but… hello!


Have a good day at work, Mrs Suder! We’ll be thinking of you! 💙
Click to expand...

He really really is- I think it’s something to do with the accent too That does things to me- his and DCL’s are very similar
thank you- sure it’ll be fine, just a long arsed day!

@Eden246 my point backed up
By this pic H.O.T. You lucky thing!
right as you were- I really should be doing some actual work 🥱🥱
5541AEA2-C80F-40E0-8501-1FB14DC1CC54.png
 
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Suder34 said:
I’m at my desk laughing so much and my whole team is looking at me like I’m crazy! ( can’t blame them I have been off for like a month with it🤣)
First full day back At work kids-I think I’m going to need coffee to get me through it!
Click to expand...
Hope it goes fast for you! I’ve left the house abs forgot to do my eyebrows and now I feel bald 🥲
 
PunkRocker said:
Bloody hell he must have fallen on really dry times if he's resorted to dipping his wick back in Cl hoe!
Sounds like a great party, congratulations @jflurker93 🤣
And I'm so sorry for being a blabbermouth @Scuffed 🙈 I'm a gobshite when I've had a few!
Sorry you haven't been porked yet @keylimepie 🙁 I'd say move on, it's probably not worth it but I think it absolutely would be worth it so hang in there 🤤😂
Click to expand...
Can’t wait for the next instalment of ‘Look who’s Porking’ because it won’t be bloody me. At this rate, I’m going to have to go to Hogwarts, become Harry Potter and defeat Voldemort. Fuming 😂

SmoochL said:
FRIENDLY SUGGESTION EVERYONE!
DO NOT READ THIS IN THE OFFICE WITH ALL OF YOUR COWORKERS THERE!
The looks I got...




Disappointed by Daddy...



@keylimepie I predict at the wedding you'll finally taste the Portsmouth sausage! ✨manifesting✨
Click to expand...

I’ve given up now. I might have to stop the Tramadol and see if a normal dream may have a better outcome. Happy for @jflurker93 and Luke though.
 
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