Lydia Millen #185 Two kitchens but she still can’t cook, instead she ‘wrote’ a booky wook.

Lidl’s secret project is a book. What are your predictions?

  • It will be a runaway success and ‘author’ Lidl will soon be working on another

  • There will be insufficient pre orders to actually print it and it will go straight to ebook

  • It will be printed but never mentioned again

  • Reviews and comments will be so bad Lidl will hit rock bottom (again)

  • It will be printed, sold and reviewed but appear in charity shops within weeks, like Spare

  • There will be order and distribution problems #globygate

  • There will be a book tour, Lidl will appear on Loose Women and get a presenting job

  • She will be taken to court for fraud/plagiarism

  • Her subscription numbers will rocket and she will make ££££ from Amazon affliliate links

  • It will be printed, "sell out", and pop up in various discount book chains i.e. The Works

  • Copies will be sent to schools but used as an example of poor English

  • It will be seen propping up vases throughout the interior design world

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Peppypoopar said:
Apparently no photoshopping was involved in the making of this photograph 🤔View attachment 2357614 q
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Noddy rang and wants his hat and scarf back 😁
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Just scrolled back through her Instagram to see when this cosplay actually started
Came across this post. She is now saying this 2020 was the worst period of her life 😂
 

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psst said:
Just scrolled back through her Instagram to see when this cosplay actually started
Came across this post. She is now saying this 2020 was the worst period of her life 😂
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I'm confused. Bare 🤪 with me. The successful businesswoman is on the right and the lost girl is on the left, but both pictures are on the left, not the right, of the text.
Also the picture on the right of the two pictures on the left is what I consider the lost girl not the successful businesswoman. Right? 🤔😭🥴
 
Good morning and welcome to today 🌹

Well, Teddy Bear and I have done our usual morning walk around our rain-battered garden assessing the damage and apologising to all the beautiful shrubs and plants which so valiantly strained to please; only to be battered down by the prevailing weather. Roses and Hydrangea Anabelle are a source of great joy for me and all are in such a beleaguered state of disarray. My beautiful blue Agapanthus are valiantly trying to show themselves for me and I love them for trying so hard. True beauty can’t be diminished by anything. We might have to learn to admire from a different angle. I can admire my Annabelles from their sprawling coverage of the ground. Quite a metaphor for life in so many ways...Loving and admiring for what ‘is‘ rather than what ought to be. Gardens can teach us so much if we choose to listen.

I am still on snail patrol in the dead of night! I go out and collect the army of snails who come uninvited specifically to eat my hollyhocks. Mine are homing snails led by Sir Micawber Munchalot. I now can identify them individually. They are the same snails which return every night after I pick them up and carefully place them outside my house.

I live in constant fear of box tree caterpillars attacking my Buxus balls. I have had to place many pheromone canisters to entice the male moths away from the buxus. Big sigh.

In other news ( sorry, I have been known to get carried away clopping on about the off-topic garden 🙄) I remain perplexed about the secrecy now surrounding the much clucked about chickens...I mean you’d have expected felicitations, fanfare, and ferocious shrieking wouldn’t you? We got nada. We’ve been introduced to some eggs but not their mothers. Hmmm. Odd.

What will the week ahead bring? Are we all thrumming our fingers in eager anticipation?

Peace, Piece, Peas ✌️.
 
Since it's raining cats and dogs, I decided to have do a Lydia and stay in bed. Good time as any to catch up on her nonsense. So the video with Jacqueline, oh my days. The absolute crap she spewed! I was getting second hand embarrassment from her just by watching. Also someone probably already remarked on it - Lydia is a total copycat, will mirror you to death, single white femaling moron. I caught the life coach observing her quite a few times as Lidl went on listening to her own bloody voice, and I could practically hear her thoughts. Mmmm yes, perfect, now she's mirroring all my gestures. EZ MONEYYY.

Little side note. I'd pay good money to hear all those cabbies tell stories of vapid influencers recording themselves and all the drivel they go through when in their cabs. It's astonishing how much crap can one person spew without actually saying anything of substance. And here I thought politicians were bad.
 
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Ms.Chanandler Bong said:
Since it's raining cats and dogs, I decided to have do a Lydia and stay in bed. Good time as any to catch up on her nonsense. So the video with Jacqueline, oh my days. The absolute crap she spewed! I was getting second hand embarrassment from her just by watching. Also someone probably already remarked on it - Lydia is a total copycat, will mirror you to death, single white femaling moron. I caught the life coach observing her quite a few times as Lidl went on listening to her own bloody voice, and I could practically hear her thoughts. Mmmm yes, perfect, now she's mirroring all my gestures. EZ MONEYYY.

Little side note. I'd pay good money to hear all those cabbies tell stories of vapid influencers recording themselves and all the drivel they go through when in their cabs. It's astonishing how much crap can one person spew without actually saying anything of substance. And here I thought politicians were bad.
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I think that about the cabbies ALL THE TIME. So cringe. I mean, there’s another person in he room!
 
If you don't want to see twattery from a twatter who is a complete twat and twit, then don't watch the video below. If you dont want to see a person ogling themselves like no other, and laughing like a weirdo when they discover the dress they are trying on has pockets, then don't watch. And if you don't want to see someone trying on more dresses that they don't need, doing all sorts of stupid poses, who is totally up themselves, then don't watch.



 
Ms.Chanandler Bong said:
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Accidentally built a Lidl Lego.
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I just love your depiction of Farmer Lips and his menagerie! It’s so entertaining...😁👏
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Greentrees said:
If you don't want to see twattery from a twatter who is a complete twat and twit, then don't watch the video below. If you dont want to see a person ogling themselves like no other, and laughing like a weirdo when they discover the dress they are trying on has pockets, then don't watch. And if you don't want to see someone trying on more dresses that they don't need, doing all sorts of stupid poses, who is totally up themselves, then don't watch.



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PLEASE will you put this forward for this thread’s coveted SHITPUFFIN AWARD? It won’t only be me who wants to vote for it...🥴
 
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Hello my beloved acolytes. ‘Tis your Trombone of Truth here as you can see.

I have come to announce the Coveted Shitpuffin Award which will be presented at the beginning of the next thread. The method of entry is simple:-

Simply tell us you wish whatever it is you are hacked off about to be considered for The Coveted Shitpuffin Award.

So far we have post 745 by @Here-For-The-Dresses - Elsie throwing some food at the chickens and running away!

Then we have post 755 from @Greentrees showing us a cringeworthy frock trying on session!

Whoever has the most votes will win the Coveted Shitpuffin Award presented by me Your Trombone of Truth on the next thread.

Hark The Trombone of Truth hath thus spake...
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NB - The notion of a Shitpuffin is entirely the idea of our dearest @happyforest!
 
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