Liz Jones #4 Why am I so miserable and can't get a shag? Is it because I smell and am a drunken old hag?

[shushablay]

well the half decent article was just a temporary blip then. Why does she keep lying about things? She made it perfectly clear that absolutely nothing sexual happened with Hutchence when she first spoke about it, IIRC she talked about him being wasted on drugs and on the phone to Australia, before falling asleep, absolutely not a night of passion, and lets be real, there is no way on earth Hutchence would had sex with her, jug eared, weird faced journo, nope and if they had, she'd have been shouting it from the rooftops as soon as it happened. I very much doubt she would have invented the rock star if she could genuinely say she had shagged Hutchence.

Her talk about mental health issues is deplorable, to the point I don't actually think she genuinely has a diagnosed condition. OK so she is a miserable old cow and totally deluded narc, but she just doesn't seem to understand what people with mental health issues are actually going through, nor does she care. The guff about a jacket for one of the collies with Nervous Human written on it in an attempt to take the dog everywhere as an emotional support animal is actually quite offensive.

 

[ThePelican]

well the half decent article was just a temporary blip then. Why does she keep lying about things? She made it perfectly clear that absolutely nothing sexual happened with Hutchence when she first spoke about it, IIRC she talked about him being wasted on drugs and on the phone to Australia, before falling asleep, absolutely not a night of passion, and lets be real, there is no way on earth Hutchence would had sex with her, jug eared, weird faced journo, nope and if they had, she'd have been shouting it from the rooftops as soon as it happened. I very much doubt she would have invented the rock star if she could genuinely say she had shagged Hutchence.

Her talk about mental health issues is deplorable, to the point I don't actually think she genuinely has a diagnosed condition. OK so she is a miserable old cow and totally deluded narc, but she just doesn't seem to understand what people with mental health issues are actually going through, nor does she care. The guff about a jacket for one of the collies with Nervous Human written on it in an attempt to take the dog everywhere as an emotional support animal is actually quite offensive.

It's also unfair to the dog (Gracie?) to be dragged everywhere. Gracie seems very ill and would probably appreciate being left to her own devices, curled up on the bed at home.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

It's also unfair to the dog (Gracie?) to be dragged everywhere. Gracie seems very ill and would probably appreciate being left to her own devices, curled up on the bed at home.

Gracie is 14 years of age with many health problems but Liz insists on taking her everywhere (I believe she is also the oldest and most fragile of Liz's dogs, Liz has three others!)

 

[shushablay]

It's also unfair to the dog (Gracie?) to be dragged everywhere. Gracie seems very ill and would probably appreciate being left to her own devices, curled up on the bed at home.

Yes it's Gracie, plus the dog is 14 so at the end of her natural life anyway. Does Jones think that if Gracie never leaves her side, she will somehow be immune from dying? All she is doing by dragging that poor dog around with her everywhere, is actually going to hasten her death or very serious illness. But she doesn't care about the dogs either, it is all about her, that somehow she is a saviour for taking on, untrained rescue dogs and feeding them food from marks & spencer, when in fact that is not good for them and the very stressful environment that they have to live in (animals don't like living in muck either) and that they are always snapping at each other, is probably a very miserable life for them.

eta ninja'd by @witchofwestbyfleet

 

[Mediastar]

It's The Dreary! Yay. Most interesting think (imho) refers to her being paid a salary.

I thought she was a freelance? Anyway, here's 3 mins you're not getting back:

 

[House of Tea]

One thing you can say about our Liz. She bears her many burdens with stoicism and grace. Said nobody ever.

Shops at Waitrose. Nothing wrong with that, but there is if you claim skintness.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Love how she's all "UGH! WOMEN!" making out that all women are bad at finding things yet she's the one so dim she thinks the name "Northern Lights" is because they always appear in the north direction

It's The Dreary! Yay. Most interesting think (imho) refers to her being paid a salary.

I thought she was a freelance? Anyway, here's 3 mins you're not getting back:

She said in the Plodcast a while back that she tried to market herself as a freelance writer when the Mail sacked her, but wasn't successful and has not tried again since

 

[Belgian Bun]

There is something particularly disgusting about maintaining a fiction that you shagged someone when it's clear the only reason you are saying it is because dead men can't rear up on Twitter to say "are you bleeping kidding me, you lying old trout?".

It is just as likely that I spent a night of passion with Winston Churchill.

 

[Shawads]

Ship of Fools aka The Podcast

Spoiler: Cut for length

After about two minutes of SCREECHING their way through "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me" (warning if you're listening to this, your ears will bleed) Liz and Nic discuss George Michael. They've been watching a recent documentary, Outed, about George and the infamous indecency charges. The documentary referenced a tabloid journalist questioning why George would need to be in a public toilet so close to his house. Liz says "Maybe he was incontinent like me and Gracie!" Thanks, Liz. Nic pontificates about "we don't own celebrities, we don't have the right to comment on their private lives!" Maybe not, but if they choose to broadcast it everywhere, it's fair game for comment - looking at you, Jonesy.

Liz says she is the "biggest STAN" everrr and recites a list of male music idols she's been obsessed with over the years, but she never ever cared if they were gay or not. She thinks famous musicians should get an easier ride than the rest of us because "they're there for us at the most important moments of our lives! I buried my sister-in-law to Adele! The first dance at my wedding was to Stevie Wonder!" We have a video of my and my sister's third birthday party where Rolf Harris was played, I don't quite think that should get him off the sex offending but hey ho.

Liz did not win a "Podcast of the Year" award and is all espresso depresso. She has "gone down in the world" because she isn't going to be at the Oscars this year. Archive column is from 2003 when she wrote "My Oscars night with Elton, Brad, Scarlett, and Hollywood's aristocracy." The article itself mostly consists of Liz name-dropping celebrities and designer brands. There are references to "tit tape" and the Myla Thong. Yes! The infamous undergarment is over 20 years old! Liz describes Charlize Theron having won an Oscar for her role in Monster as "an ugly person who murders people." Who cares about the suffering of Aileen Wuornos anyway? Liz also claims that Renee Zellweger got her into drinking "flat organic rainwater."

After some babble about Married at First Sight Australia, Liz Liz-splains Tony Hancock and the "Blood Donor" sketch to Nic. It's another "troubled column" this week, Nic says they've both had many problems during the podcast's run. "I've had it harder than YOU!" Liz hastens to add. The column is "In Which I Feel I Can't Go On!" Liz is now having Cognitive Behavioural Therapy on the NHS. Liz lied about Gracie being an "emotional support dog" and was asked to prove it by putting her jacket on, Liz "jokes" about making a fake one for her. There's a reference to the EVIL MUMSNET TROLL who alleged Liz did coke at a party. Liz is not only DEAF but almost blind with stress!!! She "had" to turn down a lucrative Mail article that would likely have won her an award, for top-secret reasons she can't possibly go into on her podcast. r/thathappened

Liz was supposedly then told to join an online CBT group before she'd be allowed to have another in-person session. I don't know where Liz lives but in my experience (treated on the NHS for an eating disorder and other mental health problems) and my sister's (clinical psychologist), they normally allocate you a number of face to face sessions from the outset? Liz drones on about how she's "not over the events of 2007-8" and had no power for a day or something. She subsequently "self-medicated with four series of Virgin River on Netflix." She was reduced into going to Lidl to buy cheap wine and laments that the only cure for her mental health will be financial security. STOP bleeping SPENDING THEN

Letters: Nina from West London has had a revelation that her wrinkles are magically invisible to her when she is on Zoom. Liz uses this to launch into another pity party about how the school toilets terrified her because they had mirrors. Carly, like Liz, likes oily baths and doesn't like men or "feral children." Liz croons, "You are my twin!" Wasn't that Meghan? Or Marie Helvin? Or (etc.) They wish Carly's mum a happy 70th birthday and then realise a moment too late that she may not have wanted her exact age divulged. Too late! They're broadcasting it!

Lol I had the huge 'fortune' (?) to be on mumsnet live when the post, photo and allegation happened. The posted at the the time had been really indiscreet with details and username etc and were very easily traced back to dscrace's 'inner circle'.obvs the poster got panicked or mn did and it disappeared pretty fast.
It was along the lines of omg, im at a party now and Lj is doing coke! With a slightly blurred photo of definitely lj at a party looking slightly shell-shocked standing next to a table that _could_ have been a coke table.
I was expecting huge headlines the next day and was amazed that nothing ever came of it until Liz brought it up again years later.
Much like the rockstar stories and how we never saw her with anyone mildly famous from the 80s.

I know people don't believe it here but I do believe she was seeing someone well known from that time.
I can only assume as one of the fail's (once) most turned to columnists, she has some protection for some reason.
God knows why as she exposes herself more than any tabloid would care to!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I know people don't believe it here but I do believe she was seeing someone well known from that time.
I can only assume as one of the fail's (once) most turned to columnists, she has some protection for some reason.
God knows why as she exposes herself more than any tabloid would care to!

You could make a case for there being a "Rock Star", or someone that inspired his character, in 2009-10 when she originally wrote about it. I don't believe they got back together last year though, that was when she was giving contrived excuses as to why they'd never been photographed together and was trying to create a love triangle storyline with him and David

 

[Mediastar]

I know people don't believe it here but I do believe she was seeing someone well known from that time.

I think there is 0% possibility that there was any chance. A) Have you seen/heard her? B) Are you aware that absolutely *nothing* is sacred in Jonesworld and, if there was a buck in it, she'd tell the World?
Nope, it's always been twaddle and, when she realised she could just lie and still get paid, the rot set in. Everything went downhill so fast from then you could map it with an inclinometer.

 

[shushablay]

Sorry no, I do not think there was ever a rock star. I think that after her divorce and subsequent financial troubles, she invented a fantasy life. Yes, she had indeed interviewed some famous people, though those interviews, she tended to portray her subjects as not worthy or her, as an intelligent, educated, beautiful, thin woman...erm not, her entire life is a cavern of boring nothingness, sadly, yes she does have a lot of good things in her life, but she cannot see them

Haven't read the dreary yet, will wait til I have coffee in the morning.

 

[Shawads]

You could make a case for there being a "Rock Star", or someone that inspired his character, in 2009-10 when she originally wrote about it. I don't believe they got back together last year though, that was when she was giving contrived excuses as to why they'd never been photographed together and was trying to create a love triangle storyline with him and David

Yeah I agree, back in the original 'rockstr' days. Think probably more pop than rock and *if* any resurgence recently it was due to him having a post lockdown crisis

 

[Origen]

Yeah I agree, back in the original 'rockstr' days. Think probably more pop than rock and *if* any resurgence recently it was due to him having a post lockdown crisis

No.. I can’t agree. The whole Rockstar debacle is pure fiction. She got a bit of attention when she made up the Hutchence fiasco so she doubled down with the Jim Kerr invention?(Twice) It was a ruse at first to fill a page and make David jealous.
Both times the Rock star appeared were nonsense.
I did spit out my tea laughing at the ‘London set’ and the cystitis shagathons in the ‘Deer Park room’ but even she couldn’t keep up the utter tripe of it all?
She’s just been poo- picking and chewing on bickener muesli all along… she hasn’t sniffed a real rockstar for eons!

 

[shushablay]

I cannot imagine what depths you have to sink to, when you make up someone in your head, lets say almost like an amalgamation of rock stars that you swooned over in your youth, then proceeded to create narratives around your imagination, then write a column/diary whatever, re-imagining your dreams and wishful thinking and suddenly you an make it true and get paid for it.

I would not have that life for anything, all I could ever see, would be the large black hole of dishonesty and delusion. Many people may have read your tripe and you have been paid well for it, but you cannot escape your own truth and reality.

 

[Minty_socks]

Liz Jones: In which I seek celestial solace - YOU Magazine

You Magazine

Follow Mail+ Editions for premium lifestyle news, podcasts and features. The best and latest in trends.

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You're welcome.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I cannot imagine what depths you have to sink to, when you make up someone in your head, lets say almost like an amalgamation of rock stars that you swooned over in your youth, then proceeded to create narratives around your imagination, then write a column/diary whatever, re-imagining your dreams and wishful thinking and suddenly you an make it true and get paid for it.

I would not have that life for anything, all I could ever see, would be the large black hole of dishonesty and delusion. Many people may have read your tripe and you have been paid well for it, but you cannot escape your own truth and reality.

Is that better or worse though than spinning a fantasy around someone who does exist (Nigel, the supposed "Film Star" etc) and trying to draw them into it and make it a reality even if they are married/have a partner?

 

[Origen]

Is that better or worse though than spinning a fantasy around someone who does exist (Nigel, the supposed "Film Star" etc) and trying to draw them into it and make it a reality even if they are married/have a partner?

‘Even if they’re married or have a partner’.. I’ve always been of the opinion that she’d jump at the chance of an extra-marital affair or pinching another woman’s guy?
She’s filled with resentment and envy and wouldn’t balk at cheating. She’s also love the notoriety and attention from any fall out.
The ‘catnip to men’ comment may have been tongue in cheek but she meant ‘any’ man?
Nigel is a decade younger than her, firmly attached, in Australia, has kids… but she’d be like a rat out a drainpipe if she ever met him again. Amoral to the core.

 

[Sam5262]

How on earth does this vacuous waste of space get articles published? She’s a complete fantasist

 

[Donnavanessa]

How on earth does this vacuous waste of space get articles published? She’s a complete fantasist

Beats me - I’ve absolutely no idea how she manages it! She’s been lying/fantasising about the same things for years and years in her various writings and continues to recycle these subjects over and over again. Who on earth gives the green light to continue to publish her drivel???