Liz Fraser #4 A Venetian pigeon stole her croissant

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Yes quite right. When she applies herself to something - ie steal a husband she has amazing tenacity. She will literally hold a month long comedy show - first to impress the older lover - then quickly evolved to impress the Dour Barista.

She pretends to be in closed hotels. Offered jobs in luxury hotels when she arrived by bike.
She will fly to a paid ball and pretend she’s there as a VIP

She reaches great heights when powered by good old spite.
 
Ginnyreturns said:
If you book onto a writing course you don't usually expect your tutor to come out in the evening and take you for a drink. That's a tour-guide experience, not a writing course.

It's some 'writing retreat', isn't it? No writing, no retreating. Seems more like a low-budget guided tour of the tourist quarter. Actually, I expect that there is at least one delegate there - possibly only one - because there are always people silly enough to book on to things like this.
Meanwhile I'm sitting here leafing through my many handouts for my next creative-writing workshop. Very boring, I'm afraid. People sat round a table discussing how to write a novel. Exercises. Reading aloud. Group discussion. 7 hours with a short break for coffee and another for lunch. I don't take them for a giddy chatty drinky walk around my local area. I don't even greet them with a duck YES! BORING.
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Omg I genuinely would be interested in this. Send me signs! I’ve been thinking about Curtis Brown…
 
SharkAttack said:
Omg I genuinely would be interested in this. Send me signs! I’ve been thinking about Curtis Brown…
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I wish I could - and thank you - but I work locally to where I live at the moment, although I do also work for a big online editorial platform too. Can't give out my details, for obvious reasons. However, you mention Curtis Brown and their courses are really, really good.
 
By the way, my threadbare pants that I bought on Amazon during lockdown that mean so little to me have come apart. I really think it’s imperative that I post them on social media.

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STOP PRESS! Anyone seen M’s latest insta story?! Very interesting! He’s teaching a six year old how to draw palm trees. What’s he telling us here given Liz’ Mother’s Day card?? Take another look at S’s handiwork! 😆😆. Our suspicions might just have been correct.
 
Replyingnow said:
I could not live a couple’s sense of fun more than I do M’s and B’s 🥰
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You’ve been rumbled Liz. She’s absolutely barking. That’s hilarious. More telling - though entirely unsurprising - is how the mother’s day card focuses on all Liz’s achievements 😆😆😆 Bit sad that she calls herself a muthafucker though. Freudian slip. Oops!
 
Needham said:
STOP PRESS! Anyone seen M’s latest insta story?! Very interesting! He’s teaching a six year old how to draw palm trees. What’s he telling us here given Liz’ Mother’s Day card?? Take another look at S’s handiwork! 😆😆. Our suspicions might just have been correct.
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What were our suspicions - somebody remind me? Did we think that the card was drawn by S for her step-mother? Sorry for being slow. I clearly need to go for a walk and do some duck YES-ing to wake myself up.
 
Hang on - how can ALL the delegates possibly be in need of research into Venetian asylums for their novels? Say WHAT? Incredible that they are all writing historical novels based on the same subject! What are the chances?!
I reckon she's only got one delegate. I'd be guessing either a creepy man or a slightly star-struck female. This is not a writing retreat by any stretch of the imagination. It's a rip-off tour.
 
Considering she keeps referring them in plural I don’t think there’s even one … 😬 I would be happy to be proved wrong though ( actual multiple tagged humans) because if she’s really pretending an entire phantom retreat in Venice it is… despite being hilarious… just too weird. Proper cuckoo level
 
intriguedbythis said:
Considering she keeps referring them in plural I don’t think there’s even one … 😬 I would be happy to be proved wrong though ( actual multiple tagged humans) because if she’s really pretending an entire phantom retreat in Venice it is… despite being hilarious… just too weird. Proper cuckoo level
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I guess in the light of M's actual genuine success and happiness she can't possibly be seen to be failing at anything, so who knows?
 
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Ginnyreturns said:
What were our suspicions - somebody remind me? Did we think that the card was drawn by S for her step-mother? Sorry for being slow. I clearly need to go for a walk and do some duck YES-ing to wake myself up.
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That Liz made a card pretending Scout made it for her. If you go back a couple of pages (about 4) to Sunday’s posts you can see the card in question and the comments it triggered 😄
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@Ginnyreturns see above
 
This lack of evidence of delegates is actually pretty concerning. I’m starting to suspect that one of the fawning Twitterphants has gone to the retreat, taken Liz hostage, and locked her in her basement. Or even bundled her off to the monastery/asylum place and left her there without a boat. To cover his tracks I reckon he has stolen her phone and is impersonating her by traipsing round Venice posting pictures of fog, dull dirty passageways and single drinks on tables. I bet he’s in her apartment right now, trying on her holey shorts and Parisian jacket and filming himself dancing like a whirling dervish in front of the mirror, grinning and shrieking “happeeeeeeee”.

I’m wondering if we should call the carabinieri.

Not that Mike would be a suspect in this shocking turn of events, of course – heaven forfend, though he does take some effing dreary photographs - but he’s definitely off the suspect list due to his alibi of palm tree drawing with a sick child. (Must remember that one, if I’m ever suspected of a crime.)

Also, flirty Grant from the Annecy days is off the list. I’ve checked his SM, and he seems to be at home, happily sending out frisky tweets to cyberspace ……

I think we should be on high alert. We may have to get a rescue team of cleaning ladies out to Venice quicker than you can say "I am going to engage in a vendetta with you forever and ever and ever and until hell freezes over and then some"! (Or maybe "Easyjet" since that is quicker to say!) Get your gondolier disguises at the ready, ladies .......!

And don't forget a banana - she might be hungry if she's spent days in the basement with NO FOOD.
 
Oooh. Interesting.

Kidnapper can't be Sausage Chops, as he's probably on the Colorado Springs highway roadside as we speak, grilling a batch of Pheasant Brats for his hungry customers.

Not that I've checked, so maybe we shouldn't rule him out completely.
 
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