Jack Monroe #593 Just a jumble of pratness

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Back From My Longest Ever Twitter Break Jack, Ebil Hackers Took My Patreon Money Jack, #YNWA Lifelong Liverpool Jack, Duolingo Jack, Agatha Christie Cream Guzzling Fishing Gig Jack, Crunching Numbers At The Election Count Jack, Cash Property Purchase Jack, & EXCELLENT Fillum Critic Jack were all this year I think.
 
Trump has given Musk a job. The hellsite will be a bin fire today, and even more people will be leaving. Watch her audience shrivel further. She’ll go from “Glastonbury-sized” to village fete-sized. Without her followers, she has nothing. No sycophants, no one to shove her money for nothing or buy her crap books. And without a platform, how can she claim to be a campaigner?
 
HotesTilaire said:
It’s ok, I got a birthday cake flavour vienetta for 50p or 20p from Ocado the other year. I can see why it was so cheap, I binned half of it.
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My husband says there is no such thing as birthday cake flavour, just over-sweet vanilla. Although now I think of it I'm surprised guest never tried to do a "viennetta" cobbled together from bits of old grime and iron filings or something
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
My husband says there is no such thing as birthday cake flavour, just over-sweet vanilla. Although now I think of it I'm surprised guest never tried to do a "viennetta" cobbled together from bits of old grime and iron filings or something
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The birthday cake viennetta often goes on offer, but I'm never tempted as the thought of it reminds me of some Jack abomination.

Aldi do a miniature version of the original on a stick! Jack would know that if she didn't boycott Aldi for reasons.
 
RandomFishOils said:
Trump has given Musk a job. The hellsite will be a bin fire today, and even more people will be leaving. Watch her audience shrivel further. She’ll go from “Glastonbury-sized” to village fete-sized. Without her followers, she has nothing. No sycophants, no one to shove her money for nothing or buy her crap books. And without a platform, how can she claim to be a campaigner?
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Glastonbury to Village Green levels. (If you’re local, you know what I mean!)
 
Valiofthedolls said:
If we’re revisiting the chaoi of yore, there’s the time that guest scampered adorably off to Asda late on a Friday night, hid the vienettas in the fridge, took a photo of the vienettas-less fridge, pretended there were no vienettas in the fridge, then moved the vienettas in the fridge, took another photo, and pretended that she found the vienettas in the fridge!!! View attachment 3266816 q
Not cos of this sad twit, cos of the glorious canal
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❤A selection of frau observations ❤
@HotesTilaire View attachment 3266821 q@siocView attachment 3266841 q
@That Forensic ManView attachment 3266823 qView attachment 3266822 qView attachment 3266824 q@SarcasticEllis View attachment 3266826 qand @hooplifehero View attachment 3266830 q
Here’s the link so everyone can relive.

Jack Monroe #421 Why do you need a lottery win, you’ve got Patreon?

She won't downgrade her area as it were but it's ok for SB to live somewhere she considers is beneath her.
tattle.life
Honestly it was bleeping immense and Vienettagate went on and on and on and on cos basically, guest was trying to bury her crappy grifting and bullshit backstory under an avalanche of tit ice cream.

ETA: @That Forensic Man
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Why would Jack care about the Viennetta when the black forest gateaux are right there? There's also a Dairy Milk dessert in the corner. Bet those are nice too.
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witchofwestbyfleet said:
Like when guest claimed to have eaten three (!!) tubs of Ben & Jerry’s by herself despite all that lactose intolerance.
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I don't mean to diet shame but 3 full-sized tubs?! No way. I'm surprised the bungalow didn't rise into the air like the house in Up with the lactose after-effects.
 
Re: Sophie Willan’s comedy sitcom
Not really a spoiler at all I think, but how the final frame of S2E6 shows her just about to start telling her story which takes you straight back to S1E1 (which we actually did before bed) is beautiful
Finished it last night and now thinking about her Louisa Compton BAFTA thief story. I assumed at first they know each other and Sophie was taking the piss, but irregardless: I can’t get past the thought that while Sophie (actual working class) was writing her brutally honest account of the devastating impact of austerity on mental health services as felt by her family, Louisa was living with her fiancée who she must’ve known made a living by begging money from people less well off than herself by pretending to be poor, while campaigning for the poorest in society to have access to cacio e pepe.
I defer to Fr Fintan Stack:
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CrackingOwlSanctuary said:
What was that old chestnut about diversifying your interests in case of disaster? She probably could have got some cross platform action on the go whilst her stock was high but she was too busy commanding her flying monkeys to harass any dissenters.
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I still think she could have had decent success on YouTube. I know her presenting skills are rubbish, but at least vlogs can be edited before uploading.
 
nothanksbabes said:
She boycotts Aldi?!
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She boycotts Lidl too, because of the sad, sad memories of the halcyon days when Old Harold used to take her there in his lovely big car. But then he LEFT.
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(A squig 👇mistaking the big Lidl sign in guest’s tweet for a giant ticket that says ‘Welcome to Your All Expenses Paid Trip Around the World by Private Jet and Oligarch’s Yacht’). 🛩 🌏🛥
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@Darlingbitgauche

bleeping hell it was a nightmare when she wouldn’t STFU

Jack Monroe #305 How incredibly, depressingly, tedious

If this progresses, she's going to be in for one hell of a shock when she realises that Twitter is not representitive of public opinion and that people who have no opinion about her or don't know her at all will be quite shocked when her grift is revealed in court. Justice for Mini, the bunny...
tattle.life
They TRIED to tell her about the mini Aldi ones when she was “gripped by” her “unshakeable Vienetta craving!” But she was TOO BUSY scampering to Asda on her own at 10pm on a Friday night to hide the fridge Vienettas (badly) in order to take photos of the fridge Vienettas to plaster all over Twitter for attention (then immediately deleting them) before scampering back home to her big empty bungamansion to HEED them.
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*she doesn’t really boycott ALDI or Lidl. She just doesn’t like them cos they’re for POOR PEOPLE. Hence her gleeful excitement at her exotic pov safari to the middle aisle with Burly Ol Harold to protect her.
 
StatusWoe said:
I still think she could have had decent success on YouTube. I know her presenting skills are rubbish, but at least vlogs can be edited before uploading.
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I agree, it would also have been a good way to practice and improve her presenting skills. She had a good sized audience and a decent amount of goodwill behind her at one point, YouTube could have been the perfect platform for her. I know she made some sort of excuses about camera equipment but I suspect the real reason she never got established on there is because it takes a modicum of effort and doesn’t give the instant dopamine hit that Twitter gave her.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
She boycotts Lidl too, because of the sad, sad memories of the halcyon days when Old Harold used to take her there in his lovely big car. But then he LEFT.View attachment 3267174 qView attachment 3267205 q

(A squig 👇mistaking the big Lidl sign in guest’s tweet for a giant ticket that says ‘Welcome to Your All Expenses Paid Trip Around the World by Private Jet and Oligarch’s Yacht’). 🛩 🌏🛥
View attachment 3267182 q@Darlingbitgauche

bleeping hell it was a nightmare when she wouldn’t STFU

Jack Monroe #305 How incredibly, depressingly, tedious

If this progresses, she's going to be in for one hell of a shock when she realises that Twitter is not representitive of public opinion and that people who have no opinion about her or don't know her at all will be quite shocked when her grift is revealed in court. Justice for Mini, the bunny...
tattle.life
They TRIED to tell her about the mini Aldi ones when she was “gripped by” her “unshakeable Vienetta craving!” But she was TOO BUSY scampering to Asda on her own at 10pm on a Friday night to hide the fridge Vienettas (badly) in order to take photos of the fridge Vienettas to plaster all over Twitter for attention (then immediately deleting them) before scampering back home to her big empty bungamansion to HEED them.
View attachment 3267194 q
*she doesn’t really boycott ALDI or Lidl. She just doesn’t like them cos they’re for POOR PEOPLE. Hence her gleeful excitement at her exotic pov safari to the middle aisle with Burly Ol Harold to protect her.
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Jesus Christ, she really is that HAVE I MENTIONED I'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND* twit we all knew when we were 12.

*He goes to another school
 
StatusWoe said:
I still think she could have had decent success on YouTube. I know her presenting skills are rubbish, but at least vlogs can be edited before uploading.
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~sighs~ *Taps Sign* SHE. IS. DO. ING. IT! Coming Soon! We just need to be patient and WATCH THIS SPACE

(you summoned this one, @HotesTilaire ❤)
June 2020, hot off the back of her truly abysmal Hellmans collab. Insufferable head.
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Just bleeping awful.

Jack Monroe #35 This tweet is unavailable.

Screenshot from @PineappleQueen19 I’m going to regret asking this I know but what is she allergic to? (Epipen etc)
tattle.life
ss from @Debarkle @MarmiteExtract and @Veronicaaa
 
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