Jack Monroe #590 The Jack who cried ouch

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Girty Drifter said:
Food Jack is amazing and nothing is either funnier or more disgusting, but please can she stop bleeping up beetroot.

Seriously Jack, please duck something else up, leave the beets alone.
Click to expand...
Here you go. The OM nom nom collection, with nary a beet in sight.
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Standard no OM nom.
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NON-OM nom nom
how in the living literal flying duck is this “tomato sauce”? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
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Love that she’s an equal opportunity destroyer of purple food beyond the innocent beetroot
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Turns out a pic does indeed exist of the finished “Brie and Beetroot Risotto”
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There’s more hideousness.
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Please tell “Someone” to stop immediately.

✨✨✨EXCITING BONUS CONTENT! ✨✨✨ (not slop)
More Bread and Jam Crafts!!!❤🎄❤ Eek!
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She's had about three times as many jobs as years she has been on this planet.
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Valiofthedolls said:
Here you go. The OM nom nom collection, with nary a beet in sight.
View attachment 3214601 q

View attachment 3214604 q

View attachment 3214605 q

View attachment 3214607 qStandard no OM nom. View attachment 3214624 qNON-OM nom nom
how in the living literal flying duck is this “tomato sauce”? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮View attachment 3214611 qLove that she’s an equal opportunity destroyer of purple food beyond the innocent beetrootView attachment 3214630 q
Turns out a pic does indeed exist of the finished “Brie and Beetroot Risotto”
View attachment 3214639 q
There’s more hideousness.
View attachment 3214618 qPlease tell “Someone” to stop immediately.

✨✨✨EXCITING BONUS CONTENT! ✨✨✨ (not slop)
More Bread and Jam Crafts!!!❤🎄❤ Eek!
View attachment 3214620 q
Click to expand...

Even by her standards these are exceptionally foul. The "Florentines" put me in mind of YouTube videos where they remove stubborn earwax.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
🎶Luck be a mummapapa tonight 🎶
Here’s “Mr Ramsay’s” ingredient list View attachment 3214427 q

Here “adapted” to create Mumma Jack’s BEST EVER Sad Flavourless Slop. View attachment 3214458 qView attachment 3214449 qRemember:
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Click to expand...
Why are the tinned beans boiled to a lather here? I don't understand. Did I miss a step? It would be total mush, wouldn't it? Just a pile ofsudge....
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Here you go. The OM nom nom collection, with nary a beet in sight.
View attachment 3214601 q

View attachment 3214604 q

View attachment 3214605 q

View attachment 3214607 qStandard no OM nom. View attachment 3214624 qNON-OM nom nom
how in the living literal flying duck is this “tomato sauce”? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮View attachment 3214611 qLove that she’s an equal opportunity destroyer of purple food beyond the innocent beetrootView attachment 3214630 q
Turns out a pic does indeed exist of the finished “Brie and Beetroot Risotto”
View attachment 3214639 q
There’s more hideousness.
View attachment 3214618 qPlease tell “Someone” to stop immediately.

✨✨✨EXCITING BONUS CONTENT! ✨✨✨ (not slop)
More Bread and Jam Crafts!!!❤🎄❤ Eek!
View attachment 3214620 q
Click to expand...
Thank you Vali. So much wrongness in one post though. It’s a lot. 🤣

💀 at whatever the hell ‘someone’ killed in the slow cooker (is that ‘arse of frog’ poking up in the middle?!) and the bonus ‘crafts’ are simply glorious 🤣🤣🤣
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Here you go. The OM nom nom collection, with nary a beet in sight.
View attachment 3214601 q

View attachment 3214604 q

View attachment 3214605 q

View attachment 3214607 qStandard no OM nom. View attachment 3214624 qNON-OM nom nom
how in the living literal flying duck is this “tomato sauce”? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮View attachment 3214611 qLove that she’s an equal opportunity destroyer of purple food beyond the innocent beetrootView attachment 3214630 q
Turns out a pic does indeed exist of the finished “Brie and Beetroot Risotto”
View attachment 3214639 q
There’s more hideousness.
View attachment 3214618 qPlease tell “Someone” to stop immediately.

✨✨✨EXCITING BONUS CONTENT! ✨✨✨ (not slop)
More Bread and Jam Crafts!!!❤🎄❤ Eek!
View attachment 3214620 q
Click to expand...
L J C

I need a lie down
 
Seaford Haggington said:
Even by her standards these are exceptionally foul. The "Florentines" put me in mind of YouTube videos where they remove stubborn earwax.
Click to expand...
Be super WARNED before clicking
The appetizing coughed-up fishbone encased in 80-Woodbines-a-day bronchial expectorate that’s perched jauntily atop the jam tart is a particular low point.
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Also a further bread and jam craft (photography version). All together with feeling;
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ETA: Oh noes! We missed a couple of OM nom noms!
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(They’re falafel, in case ya didn’t)
 
MaineCoonMama said:
Eternally amazed at how Jack thinks she the duck's nuts at everything she turns her (alleged) arthritic hand to. It's never passable or average, it's woeful.
Those tea lights she made, omfg.

Not a shred of shame either.
Click to expand...
I was thinking the same when I saw her tree decorations/fabric heart thing. She just drew 2 heart shapes on an old tea towel. Hand sewed them together very badly, same with the button then stuff with old newspaper . True, this is a very simple idea but the trick is with simplicity that it needs to he done competently, at a minimum. Even more if u want to sell it. Just doing it once badly, and saying it's perfect and ready for sale is staggeringly arrogant
This wld be good if my 3 year old grand daughter did it. As an adult, I would not let it see the light of day.
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Witchfinder Sargeant said:
She took a recipe that uses dried beans, replaced the dried beans with tinned, but didn't change the method.
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I mean, an easy mistake to make if you're a lying toe rag who thinks no one has noticed the tiny flaw in your otherwise polished receipe. She really doesn't stand up to even a cursory inspecttion and yet here we all are, still pointing it out and no one noticing
 
Last edited:
MavisBeacon said:
Sorry to drag us back to the past, but I am now 100% sure that TD was giving the side-eye to Tim Spector - he's got a cookbook out today:
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I used to be a fan back when he was an actually credible research scientist at King's - now, not so much.
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When I suggested him it wasn't a wild guess, I'd looked up forthcoming cookbooks AND read the endorsements.

I hate myself, I really do.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Here you go. The OM nom nom collection, with nary a beet in sight.
View attachment 3214601 q

View attachment 3214604 q

View attachment 3214605 q

View attachment 3214607 qStandard no OM nom. View attachment 3214624 qNON-OM nom nom
how in the living literal flying duck is this “tomato sauce”? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮View attachment 3214611 qLove that she’s an equal opportunity destroyer of purple food beyond the innocent beetrootView attachment 3214630 q
Turns out a pic does indeed exist of the finished “Brie and Beetroot Risotto”
View attachment 3214639 q
There’s more hideousness.
View attachment 3214618 qPlease tell “Someone” to stop immediately.

✨✨✨EXCITING BONUS CONTENT! ✨✨✨ (not slop)
More Bread and Jam Crafts!!!❤🎄❤ Eek!
View attachment 3214620 q
Click to expand...
Genuinely thought these 'florentines' were a slice of her lasagne 🥴 (the dried up one, not 🐴💦. I think someone once called it a dessicated tortoise or something?)
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BlendedSlop said:
This is the "cook" who thinks swedes are in season in May and who told people to boil tinned chickpeas for 20 minutes "to get rid of any toxins."

She hasn't got a Scooby mate.
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Sokay if the “toxins” aren’t boiled off after 20 mins tho, cos they’ll already all be DEAD off eating mould.
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LizzieE. said:
This wld be good if my 3 year old grand daughter did it. As an adult, I would not let it see the light of day.
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On that note…
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She definitely sends pics of every single one of her clever big girl poos in the big girl toilet to Ma Ev for claps and cheers, doesn’t she?

Literally, in her exhibition a printed-out and randomly framed bit of one of her blog posts 🤣
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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PS: “I looked like this”
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But also like Myra Hindley cradling a dead bird (twice).
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RISOTTO IS RICE YOUGURT IS MOULD ss from (the aptly-named given the rest of this post’s content) @Dogmuck
 
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