Jack Monroe #590 The Jack who cried ouch

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LizzieE. said:
I was thinking the same when I saw her tree decorations/fabric heart thing. She just drew 2 heart shapes on an old tea towel. Hand sewed them together very badly, same with the button then stuff with old newspaper . True, this is a very simple idea but the trick is with simplicity that it needs to he done competently, at a minimum. Even more if u want to sell it. Just doing it once badly, and saying it's perfect and ready for sale is staggeringly arrogant
This wld be good if my 3 year old grand daughter did it. As an adult, I would not let it see the light of day.
---

I mean, an easy mistake to make if you're a lying toe rag who thinks no one has noticed the tiny flaw in your otherwise polished receipe. She really doesn't stand up to even a cursory inspecttion and yet here we all are, still pointing it out and no one noticing
Click to expand...
I think it will be some kind of trend over 20 years from now, young people will discover the 2010s and absolutely rip the piss out of us having access to the internet, but making massive liars like Jack famous for talking proper shite.
 
Can I just add that I’ve been thinking about Jack’s pink fish and knew it reminded me of something.

was just about to do a little bit of self tanning tonight and realised her lunch looked like my tanning mitten.

IMG_1114.jpeg
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Sokay if the “toxins” aren’t boiled off after 20 mins tho, cos they’ll already all be DEAD off eating mould.
View attachment 3214838 q

On that note…View attachment 3214851 qShe definitely sends pics of every single one of her clever big girl poos in the big girl toilet to Ma Ev for claps and cheers, doesn’t she?

Literally, in her exhibition a printed-out and randomly framed bit of one of her blog posts 🤣 View attachment 3214854 qALL RIGHTS RESERVED
View attachment 3214855 qPS: “I looked like this”
View attachment 3214875 qBut also like Myra Hindley cradling a dead bird (twice). View attachment 3214876 q
RISOTTO IS RICE YOUGURT IS MOULD ss from (the aptly-named given the rest of this post’s content) @Dogmuck
Click to expand...

A picture of Jack, taken by Jack, signed J. Monroe, and titled 'Jack' by Jack Monroe.

 
Valiofthedolls said:
Sokay if the “toxins” aren’t boiled off after 20 mins tho, cos they’ll already all be DEAD off eating mould.
View attachment 3214838 q

On that note…View attachment 3214851 qShe definitely sends pics of every single one of her clever big girl poos in the big girl toilet to Ma Ev for claps and cheers, doesn’t she?

Literally, in her exhibition a printed-out and randomly framed bit of one of her blog posts 🤣 View attachment 3214854 qALL RIGHTS RESERVED
View attachment 3214855 qPS: “I looked like this”
View attachment 3214875 qBut also like Myra Hindley cradling a dead bird (twice). View attachment 3214876 q
RISOTTO IS RICE YOUGURT IS MOULD ss from (the aptly-named given the rest of this post’s content) @Dogmuck
Click to expand...
I thought the om non noms had finished me, but that memory board… 🤣
IMG_6609.jpeg

 
Valiofthedolls said:
Sokay if the “toxins” aren’t boiled off after 20 mins tho, cos they’ll already all be DEAD off eating mould.
View attachment 3214838 q

On that note…View attachment 3214851 qShe definitely sends pics of every single one of her clever big girl poos in the big girl toilet to Ma Ev for claps and cheers, doesn’t she?

Literally, in her exhibition a printed-out and randomly framed bit of one of her blog posts 🤣 View attachment 3214854 qALL RIGHTS RESERVED
View attachment 3214855 qPS: “I looked like this”
View attachment 3214875 qBut also like Myra Hindley cradling a dead bird (twice). View attachment 3214876 q
RISOTTO IS RICE YOUGURT IS MOULD ss from (the aptly-named given the rest of this post’s content) @Dogmuck
Click to expand...
bleeping mind boggling.
The complete and total lack of anything sane going on in amongst all this. It's not an adorable collection of harmonious objects. It's a pile of tit thrown at a wall and declared genius.
How does a person become so removed from any self analysis. Not an inner critic that just destroys you all the time, but perhaps the voice of common sense that checks you. The ability to look at what you've made or done and ask yourself honretlytky "Is this a bit tit? Would it improve life I had a think about it?"
 
Valiofthedolls said:
View attachment 3214562 q
Take your pick…
From the Wiki, a list* of jobs that Jack has allegedly had, over the years (in her own words / tweets).

ETA: *Not exhaustive.

Jack’s Jobs
Activist (non-specific)
Accountant
Ambassador for Oxfam (note: separate from ‘Involved with Oxfam’, and ‘Guest Blogger for Oxfam’ which predated Ambassadorship).
Author (non-specific)
Author: bestselling
Baker
Bar tender
Bar worker
Barista
Behind the scenes consultant to government involved in a lot of (painfully slow) Govt policies and changes.
Blogger (non-specific)
Blogger (bit-part baked bean-specific)
Blogger (breadline-specific)
Blogger (Guest: for Oxfam)
Blogger (humble food blogger-specific)
Blogger (political: in public gallery of local council meetings before ever scrawled a recipe)
Body Shop rep
Book reviewer
Brothel worker (may or may not be separate from sex worker (x2))
Burger flipper
Business woman
Call handler- Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Campaigner (food and nutrition-specific)
Campaigner (fronting a petition with Unite, The Trussell Trust and The Mirror-specific).
Campaigner (non-specific)
Campaigner (outspoken brand of visceral-specific)
Campaigner (poverty-specific)
Campaigner (transparency-specific)
Checkout operator
Chef
Chip shop worker (weekday-specific, first job)
Cleaner
Clothing warehouse worker
Cocktail waitress
Coffee, local art, folk music and cake shop worker (part time).
Columnist (non-specific)
Columnist (newspaper: non specific)
Commentator on food, politics and current affairs (TV and BBC radio: regular).
Control operator- Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Control room worker- Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Cook in a department store (Debenhams hotplate)
Craft business owner (Bread and Jam)
Creative director
Creator/Author of Twelve-week course for single mums at children’s centres.
Diarist
Educator
Errand Girl
Featurer in Sainsbury’s television campaign
Firefighter
Food blogger
Food consultant
Food stylist
Food writer
Full-time minimum wage worker (April 4, 2013)
Girls Brigade leader (Christian organisation similar to Girl Guides)
Guest house chambermaid
Guest house sheet-folder and tea-maker (job beforefirst job)
Harvester worker (Griddle-specific: part of job, chicken)
Involved with Oxfam (non-specific)
Journalist (non-specific)
Journalist: local newspaper
Journalist: Political (contributor to Mirror, Independent and Guardian: regular).
Machinist
Marketing woman
Media manager
Nutritionist
“Odd job” worker
Office worker (*Desk Based) ✨new for 2024!✨
Patron of 9 charities
Pharmacy assistant
Photographer
Poet
Political activist
Political commentator
Political writer (non-specific, after The Poverty)
Political writer (in public gallery of local council meetings, before ever scrawled a recipe)
Potwasher
Publicist
PR (own)
PR (volunteer)
Public speaker
Radio show personality
Recipe developer
Reporter
Retail worker (Multiple entry level customer facing retail jobs).
Sales manager
Self-employed
Server on a supermarket cheese and ham counter (NOT a deli counter!)
Sex worker: pre-poverty
Sex worker: 2013
Shot girl at nightclub
Singer
Stand-in for Ruby Rose in the music video for "Lock Down" by Stooshe
Sunday school teacher
Trainee Firefighter
Trainee Pharmacist Dispenser
TV presenter (non-specific)
TV presenter (occasional hustles on the side-specific)
Waitress
Waitress (fast food industry-specific)
Waitress (Guest house breakfasts-specific)
Waitress (local restaurant owned by family friend-specific, first job-specific)
Wimpy table cleaner (Saturday-specific, also first job-specific)
Wimpy KP(?)
Writer (non-specific)
Writer (budget recipes-specific)
Writer (freelance-specific)
Writer (silly little blog that nobody read-specific)
Writer (some soup recipes-specific)

.....and Mom

Jack’s Very First Job
Waitress (local restaurant owned by family friend-specific) (see jobs: above)
Wimpy table cleaner (Saturday-specific) and at same time Chip shop worker (weekday-specific)(dittoi, above)

Jack’s Jobs Before First Jobs
Guest house sheet-folder and tea-maker (pay: £10) (dittoi dittoi above)

Jack’s Honorary Self-Appointments
Accidental economist
Accidental inflation analyst
Angry Bird
Evidence Giver: Invited. (Parliamentary inquiries, APGs, consultations, reports, investigatons, select committees and debates).
Face of Sainsbury’s (Paid)
In a Publicly Elected Post: Often Describes Self As. (because only here (wherever ‘here’ is) because of readers, commenters, retweeters, sharers).
Kitchen Goddess
Knower of the prices of everyday groceries (“Literally my job”).
Lender of name to causes and campaigns that chime with beliefs.
Lone person it’s down to “to go on national tv and tell a desperate nation I’m sorry, there’s not much else you can do”.
Offerer of band-aid temporary solutions to help people claw through a week here and there with no strings or conditions attached.
Person at the frontline of trying to help tackle food poverty in practical ways for the last ten years.
Sharer of Other People’s Stories (with permission).
THE (capitalized: WARNED) literal expert on budget cooking
The Nation’s Home Economics Teacher (Sort of)
The Nation’s Home Economics Teacher (Actual)
Worker of 80 hours a week
Worker of 100 hours a week
Worker of 100+ hours a week
Worker of 120 hours a week

Jack’s Accidental Jobs
Accidental activist
Accidental economist (see ‘Honorary Self-Appointments’ above)
Accidental: Entire career trajectory (see all jobs since The Poverty)
Accidental inflation analyst (dittoi ‘Honorary Self-Appointments’ above)
Accidental food writer (dredged from desperation, paucity and despair)

Not Jack’s Jobs
Not actually a member of Parliament (although workload similar in places).
Not running for Parliament: though often asked (happy thrusting out petitions, rabble rousing, going on marches etc).
Not a television presenter (too coarse and unusual)
Not a charity, not an organization, no team, no staff (just one person on a freelance writer’s income)
Not a real Guardian columnist (Too Pretty to be one: told this because am woman in the public eye)
Click to expand...
It’s late so I won’t go into the whole list, but CLEANER???
 
Valiofthedolls said:
View attachment 3214562 q
Take your pick…
From the Wiki, a list* of jobs that Jack has allegedly had, over the years (in her own words / tweets).

ETA: *Not exhaustive.

Jack’s Jobs
Activist (non-specific)
Accountant
Ambassador for Oxfam (note: separate from ‘Involved with Oxfam’, and ‘Guest Blogger for Oxfam’ which predated Ambassadorship).
Author (non-specific)
Author: bestselling
Baker
Bar tender
Bar worker
Barista
Behind the scenes consultant to government involved in a lot of (painfully slow) Govt policies and changes.
Blogger (non-specific)
Blogger (bit-part baked bean-specific)
Blogger (breadline-specific)
Blogger (Guest: for Oxfam)
Blogger (humble food blogger-specific)
Blogger (political: in public gallery of local council meetings before ever scrawled a recipe)
Body Shop rep
Book reviewer
Brothel worker (may or may not be separate from sex worker (x2))
Burger flipper
Business woman
Call handler- Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Campaigner (food and nutrition-specific)
Campaigner (fronting a petition with Unite, The Trussell Trust and The Mirror-specific).
Campaigner (non-specific)
Campaigner (outspoken brand of visceral-specific)
Campaigner (poverty-specific)
Campaigner (transparency-specific)
Checkout operator
Chef
Chip shop worker (weekday-specific, first job)
Cleaner
Clothing warehouse worker
Cocktail waitress
Coffee, local art, folk music and cake shop worker (part time).
Columnist (non-specific)
Columnist (newspaper: non specific)
Commentator on food, politics and current affairs (TV and BBC radio: regular).
Control operator- Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Control room worker- Essex Fire and Rescue Service
Cook in a department store (Debenhams hotplate)
Craft business owner (Bread and Jam)
Creative director
Creator/Author of Twelve-week course for single mums at children’s centres.
Diarist
Educator
Errand Girl
Featurer in Sainsbury’s television campaign
Firefighter
Food blogger
Food consultant
Food stylist
Food writer
Full-time minimum wage worker (April 4, 2013)
Girls Brigade leader (Christian organisation similar to Girl Guides)
Guest house chambermaid
Guest house sheet-folder and tea-maker (job beforefirst job)
Harvester worker (Griddle-specific: part of job, chicken)
Involved with Oxfam (non-specific)
Journalist (non-specific)
Journalist: local newspaper
Journalist: Political (contributor to Mirror, Independent and Guardian: regular).
Machinist
Marketing woman
Media manager
Nutritionist
“Odd job” worker
Office worker (*Desk Based) ✨new for 2024!✨
Patron of 9 charities
Pharmacy assistant
Photographer
Poet
Political activist
Political commentator
Political writer (non-specific, after The Poverty)
Political writer (in public gallery of local council meetings, before ever scrawled a recipe)
Potwasher
Publicist
PR (own)
PR (volunteer)
Public speaker
Radio show personality
Recipe developer
Reporter
Retail worker (Multiple entry level customer facing retail jobs).
Sales manager
Self-employed
Server on a supermarket cheese and ham counter (NOT a deli counter!)
Sex worker: pre-poverty
Sex worker: 2013
Shot girl at nightclub
Singer
Stand-in for Ruby Rose in the music video for "Lock Down" by Stooshe
Sunday school teacher
Trainee Firefighter
Trainee Pharmacist Dispenser
TV presenter (non-specific)
TV presenter (occasional hustles on the side-specific)
Waitress
Waitress (fast food industry-specific)
Waitress (Guest house breakfasts-specific)
Waitress (local restaurant owned by family friend-specific, first job-specific)
Wimpy table cleaner (Saturday-specific, also first job-specific)
Wimpy KP(?)
Writer (non-specific)
Writer (budget recipes-specific)
Writer (freelance-specific)
Writer (silly little blog that nobody read-specific)
Writer (some soup recipes-specific)

.....and Mom

Jack’s Very First Job
Waitress (local restaurant owned by family friend-specific) (see jobs: above)
Wimpy table cleaner (Saturday-specific) and at same time Chip shop worker (weekday-specific)(dittoi, above)

Jack’s Jobs Before First Jobs
Guest house sheet-folder and tea-maker (pay: £10) (dittoi dittoi above)

Jack’s Honorary Self-Appointments
Accidental economist
Accidental inflation analyst
Angry Bird
Evidence Giver: Invited. (Parliamentary inquiries, APGs, consultations, reports, investigatons, select committees and debates).
Face of Sainsbury’s (Paid)
In a Publicly Elected Post: Often Describes Self As. (because only here (wherever ‘here’ is) because of readers, commenters, retweeters, sharers).
Kitchen Goddess
Knower of the prices of everyday groceries (“Literally my job”).
Lender of name to causes and campaigns that chime with beliefs.
Lone person it’s down to “to go on national tv and tell a desperate nation I’m sorry, there’s not much else you can do”.
Offerer of band-aid temporary solutions to help people claw through a week here and there with no strings or conditions attached.
Person at the frontline of trying to help tackle food poverty in practical ways for the last ten years.
Sharer of Other People’s Stories (with permission).
THE (capitalized: WARNED) literal expert on budget cooking
The Nation’s Home Economics Teacher (Sort of)
The Nation’s Home Economics Teacher (Actual)
Worker of 80 hours a week
Worker of 100 hours a week
Worker of 100+ hours a week
Worker of 120 hours a week

Jack’s Accidental Jobs
Accidental activist
Accidental economist (see ‘Honorary Self-Appointments’ above)
Accidental: Entire career trajectory (see all jobs since The Poverty)
Accidental inflation analyst (dittoi ‘Honorary Self-Appointments’ above)
Accidental food writer (dredged from desperation, paucity and despair)

Not Jack’s Jobs
Not actually a member of Parliament (although workload similar in places).
Not running for Parliament: though often asked (happy thrusting out petitions, rabble rousing, going on marches etc).
Not a television presenter (too coarse and unusual)
Not a charity, not an organization, no team, no staff (just one person on a freelance writer’s income)
Not a real Guardian columnist (Too Pretty to be one: told this because am woman in the public eye)
Click to expand...
I've looked but I can't see "blue tick yimby" anywhere
 
MooBelle said:
I can't believe I'm saying this but can I have a link please?
Click to expand...



Seaford Haggington said:
Even by her standards these are exceptionally foul. The "Florentines" put me in mind of YouTube videos where they remove stubborn earwax.
Click to expand...

I'd never seen the brie and beetroot risotto before. What a terrible sight.

Content warning: tonsils (I nearly made myself sick googling it).

1728615889384.png


Those semi-dissolved patches of brie really bring to mind infected tonsil.

1728616463414.png
 
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