Jack Monroe #590 The Jack who cried ouch

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BeardyBap said:
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I have thoughts about this lunch.

It is not a slop. This food has defined edges. A beginning, an end, and possibly a texture in between.



That toast looks suspiciously like untoasted toast, i.e. bread.



Horseradish butter, leek and fried finely sliced mushrooms sounds decent. Surprising.



Beetroot-pickled mackerel, because she always has to add the weird ingredient. Jack logic says ''if it's not going to reek, what's the point of it? This bungalow will always smell like an aquarium. That'll do.''

AND the most pressing question - why is she using my grandparents' knife?
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JombleWomble said:
It's been a long while since I thought about this, but as soon as I read this my brain recited "the bromelain in tinned pineapple is denatured". Clearly I'm still haunted by this incident.
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It's like one of those school assembly hymns that you always remember.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Poor beetroot.
View attachment 3214026 qRegurgitated rancid rice pudding and garden ephemera-stuffed wizened beety delight View attachment 3213992 qFlattened beety turds (with undigested raisins, peas and sweetcorn) View attachment 3213979 qDry as duck oily beety balls View attachment 3213980 qBlood in stool beety poo loaf View attachment 3213981 qBeety mush View attachment 3213982 qDespair on a plate. View attachment 3213983 qBeety mush 2 (still can’t cook boogaloo) View attachment 3213984 qDesiccated beety sadness View attachment 3213987 qNonexistent photographic evidence of finished item: beety gratitude View attachment 3213985 qBeety mush 3, aka how to ruin a 4 year old child’s birthday View attachment 3213991 qView attachment 3214004 q
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View attachment 3214005 qView attachment 3214008 qView attachment 3214009 q
“But wait!” sayeth ye. “No mackerel there!”👇🏻View attachment 3214010 qau contraire, sweet summer childView attachment 3214014 q
And said it was the best ever! View attachment 3214024 qPS: think we’ve got the perspective wrong on this pic. This is the backpack Croydon goat leg and the head she had in her fridge two years ago, boiled and served on a grubby old bath mat, surely?
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Genuinely hope all this performative semi-imaginary foul slop slinging over the past couple of days is for our benefit rather than adorable scampering for some poor hapless bastard she’s trying to reel in out there in real life Southend.
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It’s the first time I’ve noticed the green bean jenga on the “despair on a plate” oeuvre
 
What is going on under the rack? Why is there some kind of growth or mould with weeds on it?

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Valiofthedolls said:
Poor beetroot.
View attachment 3214026 qRegurgitated rancid rice pudding and garden ephemera-stuffed wizened beety delight View attachment 3213992 qFlattened beety turds (with undigested raisins, peas and sweetcorn) View attachment 3213979 qDry as duck oily beety balls View attachment 3213980 qBlood in stool beety poo loaf View attachment 3213981 qBeety mush View attachment 3213982 qDespair on a plate. View attachment 3213983 qBeety mush 2 (still can’t cook boogaloo) View attachment 3213984 qDesiccated beety sadness View attachment 3213987 qNonexistent photographic evidence of finished item: beety gratitude View attachment 3213985 qBeety mush 3, aka how to ruin a 4 year old child’s birthday View attachment 3213991 qView attachment 3214004 q
View attachment 3214006 q
View attachment 3214005 qView attachment 3214008 qView attachment 3214009 q
“But wait!” sayeth ye. “No mackerel there!”👇🏻View attachment 3214010 qau contraire, sweet summer childView attachment 3214014 q
And said it was the best ever! View attachment 3214024 qPS: think we’ve got the perspective wrong on this pic. This is the backpack Croydon goat leg and the head she had in her fridge two years ago, boiled and served on a grubby old bath mat, surely?
View attachment 3214030 q
Genuinely hope all this performative semi-imaginary foul slop slinging over the past couple of days is for our benefit rather than adorable scampering for some poor hapless bastard she’s trying to reel in out there in real life Southend.
Click to expand...
Talk about Crimes Against Root Vegetables! 😦

These are horrendous!
 
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