Jack Monroe #586 She can only but dream of being a lyrical dance flap

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Valiofthedolls said:
Courtesy of @Yel shall we just have Jack making a 0* fishy 🐟 salmon paste slop on Not-Lorraine instead?

jack-monroe-salmon-paste-noodles.mp4

No comment.
tattle.life
Or a peach curry? (Scroll to about 55 seconds in to wait for the hot pan sizzling sounds added in post-production)
Or a sloppity ploppity stewed steak Meaty Bean Goulash (and minging nails)
And for an un-amuse bouche, the USB Meat Brick again (the USB, it transpires, is because the useless twit didn’t blend it properly)
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Hate crimes, every single one.
 
I've not seen the pear Loaf "cake" video before. Actually gobsmacked at how utterly awful the whole thing is. The recipe, the presenting, the finished product. She is truly awful to watch and clearly knows nothing about food or cooking. The smooth mix at the end is bleeping lumpy? Why has it got sooooo much soggy fruit I'm it? Why has it got more ginger than chocolate? Why if it was all pureed is there a huge lump at the bottom? I felt like I was watching a Vic and Bob sketch.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
It’s way TOO LATE, but a cake is like a bag, except you put things on it not in it would make an excellent thread title.

*exception to the above: when you put a USB port in a cheap chocolate pear cake meat-cakeView attachment 3119505 qView attachment 3119506 qEdit: if anyone wants to relive the horror/ineptitude, here it is courtesy of @Yel who bravely immortalized the many horrors of Sloppy Savers
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I have made chocolate pear cake as a variation on pineapple upside-down cake.

It looked NOWT like that horror, and was not only edible but delicious. In fact, I think I have a tin of pears in. I might make one now.
 
Where did the USB port come from after everything was blended? Is it a style choice? Is it there by accident? Was it left over in the dirty baking tin from another day?
Nothing says comfort food like the most uncomfortable-sounding person on the planet.
She was shaking so much I thought she would burn herself on the oven, not a relaxing watch at all. I am all for normalising physical challenges on TV but when it looks like nerves or poor quality filming it's quite off putting to watch. Like the beginning of Cloverfield.
 
SouthendRealEstate said:
I read this and then had “You’re stressin’ me out, mate” in my head, said in her nasal drawl, and just started chuckling to myself 🤭
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Haha that was from the other Eamonn interaction in the horror shed! 😂
Remember when someone claiming to be eamon’s cousin came on here? wtf was that about!
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This is from years ago but scofe and Amanda reallly helped her along with this too.
Either big choco is the head honcho chief grandmaster flash of the free masons or guest has photos of them all in the snow.

 
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Grifty Mc said:
I know Eamonn gets a bad rep these days but the time he called the peach curry ‘exotic’ was beautiful
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Eamonn’s exotic curry. It’s only about a minute long, you just have to sit through her slopping milk and salmon paste into a bowl (again) first.
https://www.12ft.io/https://www.dai...k-Monroe-makes-three-meals-fiver-Morning.html
😬
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So delicious she slppped the exact same noodles and peach curry again for not-Lorraine two years later.

@SouthendRealEstate you’re stressing me out, mate! (And the stony faced silence from TELLY DAD throughout.)
tattle.life

jack monroe lingreenie

Mind your fingers, don't rush It's courgette!
tattle.life
vid from @Yel
 
Grifty Mc said:
Haha that was from the other Eamonn interaction in the horror shed! 😂
Remember when someone claiming to be eamon’s cousin came on here? wtf was that about!
---
This is from years ago but scofe and Amanda reallly helped her along with this too.
Either big choco is the head honcho chief grandmaster flash of the free masons or guest has photos of them all in the snow.

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I maintain that most of her dire tv work came about because she was A: cheap, B: always available at the last minute, or C: a combination of A and B.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Eamonn’s exotic curry. It’s only about a minute long, you just have to sit through her slopping milk and salmon paste into a bowl (again) first.
https://www.12ft.io/https://www.dai...k-Monroe-makes-three-meals-fiver-Morning.html
😬View attachment 3120611 qView attachment 3120618 q
View attachment 3120598 qView attachment 3120619 qSo delicious she slppped the exact same noodles and peach curry again for not-Lorraine two years later.

@SouthendRealEstate you’re stressing me out, mate! (And the stony faced silence from TELLY DAD throughout.)
tattle.life

jack monroe lingreenie

Mind your fingers, don't rush It's courgette!
tattle.life
vid from @Yel
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You know rewatching that clip from early 2020 when Ruth asks about her son makes me think she has been the non resident parent for much longer than we suspected.
 
Grifty Mc said:
You know rewatching that clip from early 2020 when Ruth asks about her son makes me think she has been the non resident parent for much longer than we suspected.
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It seems pretty clear she’s been the non resident parent since she dragged him out of the school he was in with Leggy’s daughter in London when her and Leggy split, then into another school she didn’t even bother to find for months cos she swanned off to the US with Big Lin to make Leggy jealous and prioritized herself (again), then in less than a year he was out of that school too and into a school in his Dad’s hometown, which is about half hour’s drive (which she can’t do) from hers and she moaned non stop about the train commute while telling the world about all the wacky implausible conversations they had on the train. So since he was about 6?
 
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GazpachoPolice said:
In guest adjacent news, her pal, Mark, is getting dragged by legal peeps on the haunted bird site. He’s being accused of lying about the “incident” at Reginald Hunter’a gig and other lawyers are highlighting the fact that he’s known for lying to the court and has been caught and reprimanded for it.
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If he needs help to explain away his lying, he needs to tweet “Got a job for you, Jack pal”
 
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