Jack Monroe #572 She also featured in a Sainsburys television campaign in January 2014

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Lucky Escape said:
On the retirement thing, I think it's fair to say that some people find it more difficult than others.

A friend's mum is really struggling at the moment, after spending 40 years where almost every waking moment was spent doing things related to her job as a teacher. My friend's been trying to suggest hobbies, but her mum is reluctant to try anything because she thinks she might not be good at it. It's as if she's unable to get her head around the idea of not having her performance assessed all the time anymore.

Jack has no such worries, of course. She'll have inherited by then, so will have been able to buy a house and will likely have enough of an income from being a landlord to keep her in £20 shops and ebayed cutlery for as long as she wants. There'll be no difference in how she spends her day compared to now, and she'll never know the wrench of leaving regular employment.

She might even find herself back in the public eye, as there's bound to be a market for Brexit-era nostalgia at some point. She might be able to try an "evil trolls stole my pension" grift if she's feeling hard up.

No, Jack's real problem is the next year or two, not whatever will be happening 35 years from now.
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Bet she was LIVID when she found out she was going to have two more siblings to share her inheritance with. Is that when she started pretending to sell her wordly possessions?
 
Lazarus said:
I can’t believe nobody challenged her on saying a ready meal lasagne with inflation costs should be £34 if it went up the same percentage as the rice.
why didn’t anyone say: but the rice didn’t go up that amount, they just didn’t have the cheapest one in stock in one shop, on the day you went?
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She was right though, the rich posh bastards eat readymeals all day long, whereas the povs traditionally have to cook from scratch, low and slow. At least I think that was her point.
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Lucky Escape said:
Right? The first proper summer-y weather of the year is always worth celebrating. I did a half shoulder of lamb on the barbecue last night, with a sandwich made from the leftovers this evening and tomorrow will do the remains with a pomegranate and green bean salad with a pilaf of some description.

And on Sunday, I'll do a couple of chickens, spatchcocked and marinaded in something, possibly piri-piri-ish. And the leftovers from that will do me into next week, depending on how many people actually turn up on Sunday - but probably a caesar salad and a paella at least.

And that's an actual paella, Jack, not a spray-painted rice pudding that's been put under the grill with a pile of bin-scrapings thrown on top. Ugh.

It's summer, or at least it almost is! Time for barbecues, and salads, and tapas, and bread & cheese & pâté, and fish. Not fish paste, Jack. Stop with the slop and make something with some bite to it!
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She has to marinade the beans for the salad for 4 days, so it’ll be ready on Sunday in time for the storms.
 
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Guest probably assumes that she's going to inherit part of Choccy and Ma's estate in a four way split.
Let's hope that both of them stay healthy in their dotage and don't require huge care costs at some stage.
I genuinely hope that they have a long and happy life and if they have at least another 25+ years guest will be hitting 60 when she has that windfall to buy her dream house.
We've got another 25+ years of slop and tin rattles to look forward to.
 
OrigamiEyes said:
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This is SO STUPID. Anyone who cooks regularly (not even anyone claiming to be a professional cook) knows roughly how many portions you're making based on how much of the ingredients you put in, not the size of the pan! 8/10 portions of anything is a HUGE amount of food and why would you make that much of anything if you supposedly are a family of 2? Unless properly batch cooking which you'd do in a planned way! Idiot
 
Be our guest said:
This is SO STUPID. Anyone who cooks regularly (not even anyone claiming to be a professional cook) knows roughly how many portions you're making based on how much of the ingredients you put in, not the size of the pan! 8/10 portions of anything is a HUGE amount of food and why would you make that much of anything if you supposedly are a family of 2? Unless properly batch cooking which you'd do in a planned way! Idiot
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We all know her version of a portion would barely feed one of the brambly mice in the hedge.
 
Be our guest said:
This is SO STUPID. Anyone who cooks regularly (not even anyone claiming to be a professional cook) knows roughly how many portions you're making based on how much of the ingredients you put in, not the size of the pan! 8/10 portions of anything is a HUGE amount of food and why would you make that much of anything if you supposedly are a family of 2? Unless properly batch cooking which you'd do in a planned way! Idiot
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If she says it serves 8, she can say it costs tuppence a portion.
 
OrigamiEyes said:
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But…all that (fantasist imaginary bollox) surely means you did make enough for lunch, dinner and the freezer, you pea brained tragic attention seeker? It just (allegedly/inaginary) didn’t last that long. And if your “appetite of a family of 4 people” ate them, that there were indeed 8 portions?

aaaah, bless. 12 years later you’re still back there fantasizing about being respectable, married with two incomes and a nice family business, aren’t you?
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Even even you’re desperately trolling tattle for attention with your greatest bullshit hits, Hillllarrrrious Jokes are ALWAYS funnier when you have to (hilllllarrrrrriously) explain them
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See also:

Attention seeking attempt 1
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And 2…
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And you stil had to tell them.
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As always, you’re winning at DARES. 🥇
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Someone should really give you an MBE.
ETA:Or at least give you a £5 book token for effort.
 
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