Jack Monroe #566 Set flavours to none

[People-huv-tae-know]

Ah, so that's her excuse??

These Sylvanian drama reels are hilarious, better than a soap. I'd love a guest one. It would go like this.

Peeky mink " daddy, can I have a lilac pony?"
Bar of chocolate "no, duck off, you ain't my fave kid".
Grown up peeky mink sitting in an executive apartment, nokia in hand and another one charging in the hallway "Dear Internet, I am removing my light bulbs and selling everything down to the last pubic hair, see you soon X0X0".
Peeky mink 10 years later sitting in a big empty house, tweeting from a filthy nest bed. "Piss and a sandwich, grift, grift"
Tomcat "Dire!".
Peeky mink "duck off I'm leaving".
Deafening silence.
Nobody.
Peeky mink "Melted soap, no money, poor me sob grift sob".
Sylvanian Internet "FRAUD!"
Peeky mink " waaah, daddy, no one likes me because I did bad things."
Chocolate bar "STFU and stop straddling my gun."
The END

 

[ChiefBeifong]

Dear Internet, I am removing my light bulbs and selling everything down to the last pubic hair, see you soon X0X0".

Thread title!!!

 

[hoopdedoo]

Look at the messed up duvet behind "Mary Poppins" and the cheap decoration-from-pound-store ribbon repurposed as a neck bow. The real Mary Poppins would never.

 

[Captainmouse]

I never knew "tinker" was a slur. I thought it was just a cute little expression; I call my dog a little tinker when he's being mischievous. I'm surprised guest with her Irish blood doesn't know any better.

Was tinker not a profession? I.e tinker, Taylor, soldier, spy

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Was tinker not a profession? I.e tinker, Taylor, soldier, spy

Tinker has several meanings, one of which is offensive.

1. (especially in former times) a person who makes a living by travelling from place to place mending pans and other metal utensils.
2. a Traveller, Romani, or other person living in an itinerant community. (offensive).
3. a mischievous child (informal) "little tinkers, we were."
4. an act of attempting to repair something.
   

 

[Captainmouse]

We've seen your chairs, but we haven't seen your friends.

What page are we on?
time for a #thread title

 

[MavisBeacon]

That's what she said but far more likely it was because she earned too much over lockdown. DKL, Hellmans and the other Lives, pushing her twatty photos, This morning and if course rattling the Patreon tin made her a small fortune.

See also: claiming furlough for her "team" while also claiming she bought them laptops so they could work from home. Furlough means NOT WORKING, you twit

 

[Carefree]

I remember that time period all too well. My job started in the February and I just missed out on being furloughed by a couple of weeks. Of course then they let me go and I didn't get anything for over a month thanks to the Byzantine benefit rules. Hurrah!

 

[HotesTilaire]

See also: claiming furlough for her "team" while also claiming she bought them laptops so they could work from home. Furlough means NOT WORKING, you twit

Yeah but not sending out anything because her assistant- the only employee- was furloughed

 

[MooBelle]

See also: claiming furlough for her "team" while also claiming she bought them laptops so they could work from home. Furlough means NOT WORKING, you twit

Excellent point.
Also, she claimed she DIDN'T get Furlough (despite saying she did previously). A keen eyed Frau found her name on the Furlough list for 1 person which was probably her as she claimed as an employee of her company.

 

[Bread]

I've spoken at loads of big festivals, been in the media, had a great time, hobnobbed with the organisers and producers - they ALL say "oh you must come back!"

And do you?!

I guess you can't use the word tinker for a job nor a mischievous child any more. It's intriguing that guest has been called on this and ignored it

 

[kachoochoo]

eee, just saw our old pal hide the pain harold on a chocomel ad in the middle of big brother!

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

Look at the messed up duvet behind "Mary Poppins" and the cheap decoration-from-pound-store ribbon repurposed as a neck bow. The real Mary Poppins would never.

Christ, I bet the bungamansion smells like a combination of old mushrooms, socks and bone broth.

 

[cokeyoakey]

We've seen your chairs, but we haven't seen your friends.

There's poetry in that - I think it would be a perfect Thread Title

 

[MavisBeacon]

And do you?!

Only when I've had another book out and got a new talk. And even then, it's tricky if your book comes out at the wrong time of year or you're competing with other more interesting people with pushier publishers/agents.

 

[HotesTilaire]

eee, just saw our old pal hide the pain harold on a chocomel ad in the middle of big brother!

He deserves a Chocomel bless him. He works hard.
---

Christ, I bet the bungamansion smells like a combination of old mushrooms, socks and bone broth.

Well we’ve seen the crumpled bedsheets many times
she says herself she dries mushrooms out on radiators
Then theres the drying self off with a flannel, leggings on your hair and homeopathic washing up liquid…

 

[Mr Krabs]

See also: claiming furlough for her "team" while also claiming she bought them laptops so they could work from home. Furlough means NOT WORKING, you twit

And the pandemic gave her more opportunities than ever! It really raised her profile and led to a bunch of media appearances and collabs that she otherwise would never have gotten. She probably earned more money in 2020 than any other year. Yet she spunked it all away like a Patreon payday.

 

[HotesTilaire]

And the pandemic gave her more opportunities than ever! It really raised her profile and led to a bunch of media appearances and collabs that she otherwise would never have gotten. She probably earned more money in 2020 than any other year. Yet she spunked it all away like a Patreon payday.

She should have made the most of that bumper year

Never got a second series or a callback

 

[Jelly Bean]

She should have made the most of that bumper year

Never got a second series or a callback

I presume she thought it was just the beginning of her stellar TV career so didn't have to save the money.
I know she pretended she 'stepped back' from television despite the numerous offers flooding in but we all know that was a big fat lie. She was utterly hopeless.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Remember when she tried to get out of DKL by pretending she had a cough *might be covid cough COUGH but they made her do it live from home
then she had to go into the studio the next week