Jack Monroe #559 Untitled Jack Monroe Memoir

[Lobster Johnson]

I hadn't read the Evening Standard article that a Glosser in one of the screen shots gushed about

Jack Monroe: Don’t segregate, just make sure travelling is safer

As a working-class girl with few social graces of my own, I have limited knowledge of the ins and outs of Debrett’s, outside of a teenage peek at a Jilly Cooper novel, but as a regular commuter I am often appalled by the behaviour of my fellow travellers.

www.standard.co.uk

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What a twit.

square go, Jack. I’ll be at the fighting tree in Caldys park noon on NYD.

 

[MurielSnark]

So when the far right nationalists were (imaginary) phoning her up to call her a Marxist bleep in 2013 she couldn’t fistfight “most” people View attachment 2658437 qView attachment 2658438 q

Yet by 2017, she’s “yet to meet a man she can’t take down in a fair fight”?View attachment 2658443 q
And why’s she obsessed with calling fully grown adults boys and girls. twit.

Also, while she’s ranting about dirty men on public transportation, why’s she simultaneously admiring men’s cocks on public transportation (IRREGARDLESS of trouser fabric)?

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I bleeping loathe her

ETA and who the duck are these men on public transportation in 2017 in “velour pants”? I bet she’d just been watching The Monkees on the tv she doesn’t have when she made all that shite up.

Safe to assume "velour" is another word she doesn't know the meaning of. Unless the rail services out of Southend travel back to the 1970s.

 

[rage naan]

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Yeah well that’s double bollox, Jack cos 1. Your now-deleted insta post shows you were on your way home from your PetitCochon yacht girl tour of the US of Skateboard Straps and shite tattoos on Tank Day, not at a “speaking engagement” as you also claim.View attachment 2658425 q
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Oops, sorry, it wasn’t because you fucked off to the USA with Big Lin and had just landed back in the UK, it was because you were spending all your time for MONTHS with your son and work drifted to the back burner (except for “speaking engagements”?!) View attachment 2658412 qView attachment 2658413 qView attachment 2658414 q

Oh, and it was at 10am so you’d have still been in your pit work bed nest.
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Oh, and because she didn’t bleeping ask you, obviously. Not least because you look a total and utter twit in every single item of her clothing you ever put on.
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How lucky she was that this

was not one of these many many times, boy hat or no boy hat

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Funny enough, my husband is an American citizen who has long-ish hair and sometimes wears a little eyeliner or black nail polish (think old school rock rather than Lily Savage) and he's never had "WHAT ARE YOU?!" bellowed at him when going through a US airport

 

[Hollaaa]

I mean you're literally handing them a little book with all that information in.

 

[Droosie123]

Hmm! I suspect there may be issues causing her silence…or her agent has locked away her phone and given her a basic Nokia So all she can do is text and phone.

 

[MurielSnark]

Just musing over a list of notables who have declined or returned honours and see Nigella turned down an OBE over twenty years ago. Realise this is a matter of individual principle and Nigella is already extremely posh and wealthy and has nothing to prove to anyone. But can you imagine Jack (very hypothetically) ever turning down an honour? She'd be stampeding her way to the Palace before anyone could insist she roll down her sleeves.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Wonder if his bins have been collected this week. Ours haven’t. THE END

They may be on a 2 day delay dear ❤.
On a separate note, never decline a recline (@Lazarus ) Borbarah . And Dave isn't a real man over the square/triangle issue when they're rowing in the kitchen with the hatch door shut. I love it!
And the knob of stork, the whole meal is like a Jack Christmas feast

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

What a fantastic initiative, community cookery classes with airfryers, to help people cook affordable, nutritious meals to feed their families. Wasn't there a famous, well loved cook who fronted a hugely successful campaign for a retailer of airfryers, who would be a great teacher of her wonderful airfryer recipes? Oh hang on......

Cost-of-living budget cooking classes with air fryers 'life-changing' - BBC News

Classes giving tips on how to cook on a low income have helped more than 1,200 people.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[rage naan]

Hmm! I suspect there may be issues causing her silence…or her agent has locked away her phone and given her a basic Nokia So all she can do is text and phone.

They wanna be careful. guest can write entire terrible cookery books armed with just a basic nokia

 

[Day3TShirt]

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So Big Choccy D and Ev thought their daughter was penniless and her and their grandchild were starving and they took round two bags of food?? bleeping tight arses. You can see where she gets it from.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Still mithering on this

Why’s it even remotely relevant what she can (imaginary) do “in a fair fight”? Does she think when men attack women they announce it ahead of time and a neutral third party then stands up, directs the man and woman to stand in opposite corners and says “Queensberry rules, old chaps” before dinging an imaginary bell to direct the pugilists to commence?

Her lies and nonsensical fantasies make zero bleeping sense whatsoever

 

[hoopdedoo]

No matter what gender I identified with, I would run away screaming from anyone who owned those wedding dresses. Not because of fear of commitment or because they had more than one dress, but because those dresses are butt-ugly.

 

[MancBee]

Did anybody watch The Masked Singer? Any of the contestants honk like a goose?

 

[HotesTilaire]

No, it was Johnny Greenwood (in my road) as dear tendercrustacean @Lobster Johnson said

Johnny Greenwood is so lovely! He would totally take your bins in/out etc
---

So Big Choccy D and Ev thought their daughter was penniless and her and their grandchild were starving and they took round two bags of food?? bleeping tight arses. You can see where she gets it from.

Or knowing very well that any casho’s would not be spent on food..? I don’t mean booze or either. Fkin spoons and vests to sew on to skirts, that’s the real danger. Hair dye. Chipped plates from Oxfam.

 

[hereforthechaos]

Did anybody watch The Masked Singer? Any of the contestants honk like a goose?

It was delightfully honk free this week.

 

[MurielSnark]

So Big Choccy D and Ev thought their daughter was penniless and her and their grandchild were starving and they took round two bags of food?? bleeping tight arses. You can see where she gets it from.

Perhaps Big Choccy D and Mammy E align with the Trussell Trust approach of only handing out a three-day supply of basic foodstuffs. In order to help a family get through an immediate crisis while sorting out benefits. Any more groceries would encourage dependency or something. And giving cash to povs means they'll just spend it on scratchcards and cigs. One must be charitable but also firm with the underclasses.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Very telling about how guest thinks, isn't it? Same as when she said she found £5 and spent it on two tubs of Ben & Jerry's just for herself

She is a coco pops bleep and a Ben and Jerry's bastard.

 

[MancBee]

She is a coco pops bleep and a Ben and Jerry's bastard.

FTFY
Too short.

 

[MooBelle]

It’s also the one year anniversary of RIP forreal Viv, when Jack was sad that she missed out on an occasion she was definitely invited to.

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‘The only dresses’ oh stop it Jack. Don’t make me post them all.

The 'diary clash' that was the 'petit cocoon on tour' jaunt to America with Lin which was 100% to spite Leggy.

Eta @Valiofthedolls beat me to it and auto changed Cochon to Cocoon but I like it so it stays.