Jack Monroe #559 Untitled Jack Monroe Memoir

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The Quarterback reminds me of when many many years ago I had the one of the most bizarre jobs as a civil servant. I was the supervisor in the staff canteen. My responsibilities were financial and administrative not culinary. I calculated weekly wages, banked takings etc and did monthly accounts which included inventory of everything edible. The guy I took over from trained me & showed me his method of inventory, he'd pick up a bag of raisins and say, "that'll be 500 g" while tipping a huge handful out and eating them, it was hilarious. We did this with every single item in the
kitchen , from flour to herbs to tins etc, and anything tasty he had a go at. Surprisingly the books never balanced. 😂
 
HotesTilaire said:
Don’t ask me, it was an editorial decision taken by 🥕 @Captainmouse

Maybe it’s the new spin off from the masked singer? Who’s that behind the mask being a potato?
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The Masked Slopslinger.

Unfortunately we'd all be able to guess who it is and there would only be one round. But who wouldn't like to hear boulevard and watch a carrot and kidney bean burger being compressed into 2am outside wetherspoons orange pavement vomit? I certainly can make myself available for a group viewing.
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WoolyMammoth said:
The Masked Slopslinger.

Unfortunately we'd all be able to guess who it is and there would only be one round. But who wouldn't like to hear boulevard and watch a carrot and kidney bean burger being compressed into 2am outside wetherspoons orange pavement vomit? I certainly can make myself available for a group viewing.
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Quoting myself because I have a better title now...


Wait for it....



Wait for itttt...



The Maris Slopslinger
 
Who the duck has got a tattoo of guest? And what has it cost them to get it removed? (I speak from knowledge, my Dad had some ... unwise tattoos from his days in the army and decided to have them lasered off when he became a respectable civilian; it wasn't cheap.) Or does this person just tell everyone it's Eva Green/Ruby Rose/Keira Knightley/Natalie Portman/Lily Allen?
 
Seaford Haggington said:
LOOK HOW MUCH FUN I AM HAVING BEING POOR
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real poor couldnt afford to splash cash on toffees ,, even cheap ones
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Valiofthedolls said:
Before:
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with apologies to 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿fraus View attachment 2667986 q
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hang on a sec.. 1 these are not cargo 2 these ar not joggers. they are cargo jeans ffs
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Yer_wha?! said:
I'm an LFC supporter and I'd happily chant that
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please do
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houseofhoop said:
For someone who says cooking is her job, she buys an awful lot of pre prepared sauces in jars ( bolognaise sauce, curry sauce tikka sauce etc) nothing wrong with prepared sauces but seriously… buying a prepared bolognaise sauce… it’s meant to be your job mate!!
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I never understand ppl who buy jars of pasta sauce.. tins of chopped tomatoes are way cheaper than Dolmio etc
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Marmalade Atkins said:
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Lol
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pitying the bookshop employees who have to consider putting a work of fiction in the non fiction section
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CabalofBolorneaise said:
See I’m surprised Jack doesn’t love Aldi because she clearly loves a good supermarket faff and I have never once been able to complete a full shop at Aldi because there’s always something really basic that they just don’t have (inevitably one of the most important things on your list) so you have to trek somewhere else. Which is why I gave up on them for full shops, I reckon I save more by buying a different brand in Tesco or Asda and not having to drive somewhere else (petrol and time wise) than I saved in Aldi in the first place.
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i think the trick with aldi and lidl is they draw ppl in with cheap meat n fish or the middle aisle deals etc n when you look at things closer you relaise they are not always the cheapest and you are right it's impossible to do a full shop there as there is usually something they don't stock
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Reagent said:
The Quarterback reminds me of when many many years ago I had the one of the most bizarre jobs as a civil servant. I was the supervisor in the staff canteen. My responsibilities were financial and administrative not culinary. I calculated weekly wages, banked takings etc and did monthly accounts which included inventory of everything edible. The guy I took over from trained me & showed me his method of inventory, he'd pick up a bag of raisins and say, "that'll be 500 g" while tipping a huge handful out and eating them, it was hilarious. We did this with every single item in the
kitchen , from flour to herbs to tins etc, and anything tasty he had a go at. Surprisingly the books never balanced. 😂
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he doesn't work for our new catering suppliers does he? the portions have gone right down. i keep hearing ppl say theyre still hungry after their lunch
 
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SendReceive said:
The sheer insanity of the
QUARTERHACK
passed me by first time around, amongst the utter shitshow that was the Grifty Kitchen release.

Writing down everything that you’ve already got in your fridge, freezer and kitchen cupboards before going shopping? And it will be the magic key that unlocks the “£20 weekly shop” which feeds 2 adults and a child? A “very simple” system? WHAT?

Even more hilarious than it being invented by Jack is that someone, or several people, at Bluebird read this absolute twaddle and thought “yeah, sounds good!”. I cannot fathom it.

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Carole thought it was "indispensable" and "genius".

Screenshot_20240104_233805_X.jpg
 
LydiaDeetzHat said:
real poor couldnt afford to splash cash on toffees ,, even cheap ones
---

hang on a sec.. 1 these are not cargo 2 these ar not joggers. they are cargo jeans ffs
---

please do
---

I never understand ppl who buy jars of pasta sauce.. tins of chopped tomatoes are way cheaper than Dolmio etc
---

pitying the bookshop employees who have to consider putting a work of fiction in the non fiction section
---

i think the trick with aldi and lidl is they draw ppl in with cheap meat n fish or the middle aisle deals etc n when you look at things closer you relaise they are not always the cheapest and you are right it's impossible to do a full shop there as there is usually something they don't stock
---

he doesn't work for our new catering suppliers does he? the portions have gone right down. i keep hearing ppl say theyre still hungry after their lunch
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Lidl draw me in for the bakery alone which is unmatched but I’ve never even tried to do a full shop there, I have to admit.

(My local aldis don’t have bakery sections, I know some do, no idea how they compare to lidl bakery).
 
Valiofthedolls said:
All this dirty deleting of her dirty lies is just soooo pointless. You’re going to have to delete the entire internet, you grifting narc nightmare.
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You can even tell she’s LYING about SB’s shoes cos that obviously wasn’t her first draft; she’d changed it from something else initially cos the bit underlined in yellow says about his shoes “I had no money for a new one”

Also “under threat of eviction”, not “evicted” as she claims in Potatoes 2020, still sat there on her blog.
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And why on earth would a firefighter give someone a Xmas tree? Many people don't celebrate Xmas, and many of those who do don't bother with trees. Did she specifically ask for one somewhere, or did this imaginary saviour just presume one was needed? Seems odd to me.
 
DinosaurSenior said:
I used to work with a guy who spent his lunch break walking 30 minutes to the nearest Tesco, because a small tin of tomato puree was 6p cheaper there than the shop next to our office.

He would then come back and sit at his desk and eat his lunch for 20 minutes, thus incurring the hatred and rage of all his colleagues, because of his 85 minute lunch break, all for the saving of 6p a week.
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Who uses a tin of tomato puree a week? Surely it’s about 6p a year saving?
 
Esiren said:
And why on earth would a firefighter give someone a Xmas tree? Many people don't celebrate Xmas, and many of those who do don't bother with trees. Did she specifically ask for one somewhere, or did this imaginary saviour just presume one was needed? Seems odd to me.
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The "firefighter" was probs Big Choccy D and she's again being tricksy with her language. Seems like the kind of thing a dad would do for his daughter and infant grandson.
 
skronkywildcat said:
Wee firklin' timourous beastie.


Pine cones contain pine nuts which go in Pesto - hate to defend the horrible hag but there is sort of a reason there. No reason for the baby tit in a jar though.
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As always, whenever she’s given even the most minuscule credit/benefit of the doubt, it’s unwarranted 😂 . The pine cones also adorn the (leftover) sprouts and roasties saag aloo.
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The Bramblymeece appear to have been at the sprout pizza before she managed to take the pic. 🐭🐁🐭🐁
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Also, what in the name of oily effluent is that seeping out of the left hand side?!
www.mirror.co.uk

Liven up your Christmas left-overs with these top recipes from Jack Monroe

Wasting food isn’t an option for most, so we asked crafty cook and poverty campaigner Jack Monroe how to make the most of festive trimmings on Boxing Day including turkey and brussels sprouts
www.mirror.co.uk www.mirror.co.uk
 
MurielSnark said:
The "firefighter" was probs Big Choccy D and she's again being tricksy with her language. Seems like the kind of thing a dad would do for his daughter and infant grandson.
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Agreed. I believe he has also been "a friend", "a close friend", "a group of friends", "a fancy dress party", "the good people of Southend buying my photos and cufflinks", "a tangled mass of legs and orange squash", and "a puddle".
 
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