Jack Monroe #559 Untitled Jack Monroe Memoir

[BlendedSlop]

I wonder what the political prisoners who contact her for help make of the quarterhack.

(For newer ninnies, yes, this is actually a claim she made)

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I used to work with a guy who spent his lunch break walking 30 minutes to the nearest Tesco, because a small tin of tomato puree was 6p cheaper there than the shop next to our office.

He would then come back and sit at his desk and eat his lunch for 20 minutes, thus incurring the hatred and rage of all his colleagues, because of his 85 minute lunch break, all for the saving of 6p a week.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I used to work with a guy who spent his lunch break walking 30 minutes to the nearest Tesco, because a small tin of tomato puree was 6p cheaper there than the shop next to our office.

He would then come back and sit at his desk and eat his lunch for 20 minutes, thus incurring the hatred and rage of all his colleagues, because of his 85 minute lunch break, all for the saving of 6p a week.

See I’m surprised Jack doesn’t love Aldi because she clearly loves a good supermarket faff and I have never once been able to complete a full shop at Aldi because there’s always something really basic that they just don’t have (inevitably one of the most important things on your list) so you have to trek somewhere else. Which is why I gave up on them for full shops, I reckon I save more by buying a different brand in Tesco or Asda and not having to drive somewhere else (petrol and time wise) than I saved in Aldi in the first place.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

I'm in love with 2 other threads...

Spoiler: Threads

The Snag Tights one, and the Dating App Icks are just hysterical. Sooo many strange people out there

Popsy dresses and Celebrity Death Pool are also great fun if you fancy being unfaithful to boring old Jack ☠
---

Spoiler: That JimmyPolo guy

This fella. He’s the QB for the Raiders. View attachment 2666975 q

Phwoar x

 

[Mr Krabs]

Christ, on the bottom right, in the column which is ‘Snacks’ but also ‘Ingredients’ and, as inexplicable as an egg, ‘Meals’, there’s an entry that says ‘Freezer surprise’. Imagine what that could include from her cold pit of despair. Out of date fish? The decaying remnants of a goat leg? The mind boggles.

View attachment 2668218 q

Read that in Jean Slater’s voice.

 

[Hollaaa]

She's such a monumentally inept twit I can't comprehend it.

That bleeping tinfoil hat website that suggested she's a psy-op seems ever more believable because this tit cannot be bleeping real.

I was going to say something about the Tin Can Cook being part of the aluminati. But then thought better of it.

 

[rage naan]

lol

 

[streby]

The sheer insanity of the

Spoiler: I cringe just typing it

QUARTERHACK

passed me by first time around, amongst the utter shitshow that was the Grifty Kitchen release.

Writing down everything that you’ve already got in your fridge, freezer and kitchen cupboards before going shopping? And it will be the magic key that unlocks the “£20 weekly shop” which feeds 2 adults and a child? A “very simple” system? WHAT?

Even more hilarious than it being invented by Jack is that someone, or several people, at Bluebird read this absolute twaddle and thought “yeah, sounds good!”. I cannot fathom it.

View attachment 2668433 q

Save money on food by already having enough food in your home before you head for the supermarket!

 

[WoolyMammoth]

I then go and shake the cereal to see how we are doing.

Do you ever think to put it in different jars, Lumpy? The biggest bits in one jar, medium sized broken flakes in another, and the dust particles in a third? Sorted by hand. The Monroe Method. Don't put the best before date on. There's no reason to indulge in such frivolity. That way you could put it next to your stuffing mix jars in the cupboard? Hope this helps.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Wait, the publisher of the memememememoir was going to be Tor, which mostly publishes sci-fi and horror? Yes, I can see why they might've been interested initially

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

It’s Waitrose Essentials (for the love of God!). Not sure how this wanker would know that tho, given she never sets foot in there.

View attachment 2668422 q

It is literally impossible to count the number of ways in which she is just a massive, massive insufferable (and thick as pigshit) absolute twit. View attachment 2668395 qView attachment 2668387 qView attachment 2668388 qETA Jack, this is why you need to delete your entire blog, you bleeping moron.

I‘m absolutely stunned to find out that a jar labelled soffritto contains soffritto ingredients and nothing more.
I hope she reported the supermarket(s) to trading standards. This sort of chicanery is why we can’t trust any of them.

 

[rage naan]

lol again. I love wellard roadman Jack

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Wait, the publisher of the memememememoir was going to be Tor, which mostly publishes sci-fi and horror? Yes, I can see why they might've been interested initially

Yes! It was a slow day at work so I googled Tor, and they are part of Pan MacMillan, like Bluebird. I was confused initially, thinking it might have only been shelved in the US.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I wonder what the political prisoners who contact her for help make of the quarterhack.

(For newer ninnies, yes, this is actually a claim she made)

View attachment 2668456 q

See also the standard prisoners, pupil referral units and children in care because “everybody deserves a chance to be a good person” and to “be reformed”. bleep. I bleeping loathe her.

Interview: I was hungry - Reform Magazine

The food poverty writer and campaigner Jack Monroe talks to Stephen Tomkins at Greenbelt ‘This morning, small boy had one of the last Weetabix, mashed with water, with a glass of tap water to wash it down with. “Where’s Mummy’s ... Read More

www.reform-magazine.co.uk

C.O.K.E. H.A.G. And Greenbelt can duck right off for giving her a platform to shower out these vile sanctimonious self-serving lies.

 

[chizontiz]

lol again. I love wellard roadman Jack View attachment 2668579 q

lol I've seen this plenty of times before but I've never appreciated how fun it is trying to imagine guest actually saying any of this. Genuinely lightens the soul. Thank you, Jack - I needed that!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Oooh! I've just realised it's Veganuary! Pass the goat leg!!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

"I want everyone to have a chance!"
"Revolving door of traumatised children"

 

[Valiofthedolls]

lol again. I love wellard roadman Jack View attachment 2668579 q

“You ain’t special”

“Yo.”

Spoiler

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Time works differently in Jackworld

View attachment 2667492 qView attachment 2667494 q
It gets worse

View attachment 2667500 qView attachment 2667502 q

Is it just me…I can’t help but imagine her as a hobbit with a big backpack on and hairy toes, walking to Asda with a big twisted wizards walking cane. Why is everything so bleeping extra with this woman.

This is why you don’t have a job, guest…you useless nob, because you make everything a massive, boring, ridiculous, waste of time

 

[Hollaaa]

A4 hardback stocktake book - don't tell me, you get them for £44.99 from Moleskine?