Jack Monroe #559 Untitled Jack Monroe Memoir

[MurielSnark]

In her favorite tit primark jeans with her tshirt tucked up into her bra, with “spectacles”, 3 CHEAP toffees to fortify her, and a strange dinner plate sized white patch on her tum-tum. See you on the other side!
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ss @Brian Butterfield

One must always look cute for the supermarket in case there's a hot singleton lurking in fresh produce, dontcha know?

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I was quite new to the canal then. I spent several months slack jawed with amazement at how bizarre her tweets were.

Also, I will never move beyond her tweeting how much food she had in the house, including duck gyozas in her freezer, shortly before posting HH2

edit for

 

[YerDa]

In her favorite tit primark jeans with her tshirt tucked up into her bra, with “spectacles”, 3 CHEAP toffees to fortify her, and a strange dinner plate sized white patch on her tum-tum. See you on the other side!
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ss @Brian Butterfield

This degree of self love would make Onan blush.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Before:

Spoiler: After: “See you on the other side!”

with apologies to fraus

 

[hereforthechaos]

The thing I enjoyed most about the ridiculous 'shopping planning' era was when she posted a pic of herself dressed in Tank Girl style gear, fearlessly preparing for a death-defying journey to the wild wastelands of, er, Asda, generally acting like it was a terrifying and rare expedition like a grifty Andy McNab

Surely that's got to be Andy McGrab?

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

Me too @Witchfinder Sargeant I feel shocking. Used my last COVID test and it said negative but WFK. Certainly won't be yomping to the chippy like Jack the twit and her 'long Covid' that wasn't. Bed then Maccies delivery for tea.

And me! Been in bed for a week but still testing Covid negative. Haven’t felt this rough for a long time. Deliveroo has been a godsend for both food and medicine. Guest doesn’t understand that sometimes it’s the only way.

 

[hereforthechaos]

I'm trying to find a pic I remember of her handwritten "stocktake" where she already had more food in than my local Tesco express... Can't find that but this did make me laugh

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"cold" hey, was it snowing?

 

[houseofhoop]

In her favorite tit primark jeans with her tshirt tucked up into her bra, with “spectacles”, 3 CHEAP toffees to fortify her, and a strange dinner plate sized white patch on her tum-tum. See you on the other side!
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ss @Brian Butterfield

What a knobber!

 

[Nonah]

And me! Been in bed for a week but still testing Covid negative. Haven’t felt this rough for a long time. Deliveroo has been a godsend for both food and medicine. Guest doesn’t understand that sometimes it’s the only way.

Another poorly Frau here. It’s been almost 3 weeks now and my cough is getting seriously annoying.

 

[frostily]

This?
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“Smol” toms is making me rageful

 

[houseofhoop]

This?
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For someone who says cooking is her job, she buys an awful lot of pre prepared sauces in jars ( bolognaise sauce, curry sauce tikka sauce etc) nothing wrong with prepared sauces but seriously… buying a prepared bolognaise sauce… it’s meant to be your job mate!!

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

For someone who says cooking is her job, she buys an awful lot of pre prepared sauces in jars ( bolognaise sauce, curry sauce tikka sauce etc) nothing wrong with prepared sauces but seriously… buying a prepared bolognaise sauce… it’s meant to be your job mate!!

Maybe she wants to finger them, like that lasagne?

 

[House of Carbonara]

In her favorite tit primark jeans with her tshirt tucked up into her bra, with “spectacles”, 3 CHEAP toffees to fortify her, and a strange dinner plate sized white patch on her tum-tum. See you on the other side!
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ss @Brian Butterfield

Also, weirdly shaped waist courtesy of Photoshop (other apps available).

 

[Yer_wha?!]

How can anyone make such a bleeping palaver about a shopping list?!

Also, I've just put my Sloppies votes in, had to put a bit of thought into that (ETA nice one @People-huv-tae-know for setting that up!)

 

[hereforthechaos]

She is the undesputed queen of busywork. People with actual adult commitments, jobs, work, children, illnesses etc, don't have the time or energy to piss around completing day to tasks. Then tit post about it. I assume not only do she have nothing to do, people praise her when she does occasionally adult, thus reinforcing this bs need to make day to day tasks excessively convoluted.
I'm tired and overworked. It puts me in a foul mood.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The thing I enjoyed most about the ridiculous 'shopping planning' era was when she posted a pic of herself dressed in Tank Girl style gear, fearlessly preparing for a death-defying journey to the wild wastelands of, er, Asda, generally acting like it was a terrifying and rare expedition like a grifty Andy McNab

The only thing I remember from reading Andy McNab's autobiography is that he had to... Make stool... In a bag to avoid leaving evidence of him having made camp anywhere.

So maybe Jack IS channeling Andy? #justiceforiqbal

 

[waffle maker]

Argggh, why would you write a new stocktake every week, just work from last weeks and cross off what you have used! What poor person has so much in their kitchen that they need to survey it weekly?!? I’m not poor but I am super busy due to having a full time job and kids etc- I could tell you pretty accurately what food we have and what we need to buy. I don’t even do the cooking every day, we share it out but I can remember what we have eaten!

 

[Ablemabel]

This?
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Don't know who she quite believes has time for that level of nonsense. Yes each week I meal plan and from time to time, spend about ten mins with head in fridge freezer and cupboards scribbling down in writing I later discover I cannot read, what I have in. BUT I don't spend like 4 bleeping hours on it, nor do I need to do the big check every sodding week. I also do it in between working.

What the hell did she think a shopping list was before? Did she think we all wrote out a bloody wish list or something. Honestly she's an idiot.
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Argggh, why would you write a new stocktake every week, just work from last weeks and cross off what you have used! What poor person has so much in their kitchen that they need to survey it weekly?!? I’m not poor but I am super busy due to having a full time job and kids etc- I could tell you pretty accurately what food we have and what we need to buy. I don’t even do the cooking every day, we share it out but I can remember what we have eaten!

Exactly! It's behind stupid

 

[houseofhoop]

feel like pure tit. Just want a chaos.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Indeed

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Btw back in the day the mystery column was dairy ( guardian, 2014)

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Later on it became flavours or snacks or ingredients or sideboards or anything

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37g of cocoa powder
I work 120 hours a week
duck off

I thought Jack's special little autistic brain could look at a sparse stock cupboard and INSTANTLY devise a healthy nutritious meal plan for a while week of meals.