Jack Monroe #547 Bung it in a Curry's

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Sideboard Bob said:
This thread title is so perfect, it’s like it was all leading up to this.

I don’t actually think we live in Jack’s thread rent-free, but I bet when she started ”working” with Curry’s, even she thought, “oh crap, there’s going to be a Tattle thread called Bung it In A Curry’s now isn’t there”.
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9 hours behind and 48 pages early.... so prob been said but "the canal live in Jack's thread rent-free" pls pls pls.
 
Lucy Aeroplane said:
Bib HOW DARE YOU?! 😱😭 it’s literally the longest pleasure pier in the world AND Jamie Oliver has a series filmed down the end of it.
It’s also got a lifeboat station at the end and you can go and ring a gigantic metal bell if you like.
The council don’t value the pier enough IMO, though they got some fancy new trains for it a while back.

Lads I’ve got some very weak tea, which is that in her time away from Twitter it seems Jack has not only been doing the most cringey PR campaign with Curry’s and awfully unflattering photos, but also been trying to partially reintegrate herself into some bits of local life. (I can only recount what I’ve heard from someone who’s loathed her for years and years, so there’s an inherent anti-Jack bias, but that’s only fair because Jack’s a shitbag after all.) Anyway it won’t surprise anyone here to hear that it appears she’s manipulating some people who are probably a bit too nice for their own good, and a couple who are a bit sad and thirsty (think lonely divorced dad sort of types).

The too-nice people are thankfully friends with people who knew of Jack back when I did, so she probably won’t be able to get her claws too deep in to them, even though nobody wants to upset them by telling them what a horror she is. Sounds like there’s a lot of restraint going on at the moment, but seeds are being planted and watered, so when the scales fall off, it won’t be too much of a shock. Must suck so much to be her and to know that nearly everyone she’s ever met thinks she’s a massive irredeemable hole.
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Can you squeeze your erm teabag or microwave it (this was a bad analogy) FIND OUT IF SHE MOVED YET PLEASE, IBEG!
 
Lucy Aeroplane said:
Bib HOW DARE YOU?! 😱😭 it’s literally the longest pleasure pier in the world AND Jamie Oliver has a series filmed down the end of it.
It’s also got a lifeboat station at the end and you can go and ring a gigantic metal bell if you like.
The council don’t value the pier enough IMO, though they got some fancy new trains for it a while back.

Lads I’ve got some very weak tea, which is that in her time away from Twitter it seems Jack has not only been doing the most cringey PR campaign with Curry’s and awfully unflattering photos, but also been trying to partially reintegrate herself into some bits of local life. (I can only recount what I’ve heard from someone who’s loathed her for years and years, so there’s an inherent anti-Jack bias, but that’s only fair because Jack’s a shitbag after all.) Anyway it won’t surprise anyone here to hear that it appears she’s manipulating some people who are probably a bit too nice for their own good, and a couple who are a bit sad and thirsty (think lonely divorced dad sort of types).

The too-nice people are thankfully friends with people who knew of Jack back when I did, so she probably won’t be able to get her claws too deep in to them, even though nobody wants to upset them by telling them what a horror she is. Sounds like there’s a lot of restraint going on at the moment, but seeds are being planted and watered, so when the scales fall off, it won’t be too much of a shock. Must suck so much to be her and to know that nearly everyone she’s ever met thinks she’s a massive irredeemable hole.
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So she’s hitting the poppy seeds again? Or is she maybe not a “stone dyke”, just a bisexual grifter who’ll go after anyone that looks like they might have a few quid?
 
Hold my beans said:
Oh god, she's going to be this year's John Lewis ad, isn't she? 😂 A crumbly little Jack is seen slowly making her way down the high street, walking stick in one hand, battered shopping trolley in the other. Tears fill her eyes are she reminisces of years gone by. A vape shop now were Woolworths once was, her favourite Turkish barbers replaced the haberdashery. She can't afford this year's traditional Christmas dinner of eels and mash but fear not, Big D & E have ordered her a home delivery from John Lewis and everyone was happy. THE END 😡
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While someone sings U2's "Still haven't found what I'm looking for in the style of Lilly Allen.
 
Grunking from this afty, but I actually think Guset is turning into a very unexpected saviour. Stick with me....!

Very few people have single-handedly illustrated, quite as clearly as she has, what a bunch of absolutely useless, greedy and mendacious tossers the meeja and corporates are. And all those who kowtow to them.

All whilst cancelling herself by a thousand (paper) cuts.

It's sort of pretty ironically delicious. Unlike her slop.
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MurielSnark said:
I was thinking more along the lines of newspaper consumer columnists. They all have one and there's a few good freelancers out there too. I wonder if any of them have ever covered these spurious budget cooking claims?
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Freelancers spending Sunday night sharpening pencils and getting ready to submit opinion pieces at 5am....Let's see... Who first? The Grauniad?!
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Forever J said:
To be fair, if they are going into one of her recipes (using the word loosely there) I think you could use the word 'waste'.
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As I am the one who didn't spoiler it originally this time/thread, I'm going with a raunchier version to fit with the oft-quoted here, completely inappropriate tit she comes out with....
nekkid
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Walkdengirl said:
I have got an airfryer and a slow cooker but I won't be sullying them with her slop
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I am still waiting for electricity, but when/if it arrives, I might risk parking my off-grid, free to use slow cooker hay oven and trying an air fryer. Do you think there might be an 8th book to help me out??
 
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Lucy Aeroplane said:
Bib HOW DARE YOU?! 😱😭 it’s literally the longest pleasure pier in the world AND Jamie Oliver has a series filmed down the end of it.
It’s also got a lifeboat station at the end and you can go and ring a gigantic metal bell if you like.
The council don’t value the pier enough IMO, though they got some fancy new trains for it a while back.

Lads I’ve got some very weak tea, which is that in her time away from Twitter it seems Jack has not only been doing the most cringey PR campaign with Curry’s and awfully unflattering photos, but also been trying to partially reintegrate herself into some bits of local life. (I can only recount what I’ve heard from someone who’s loathed her for years and years, so there’s an inherent anti-Jack bias, but that’s only fair because Jack’s a shitbag after all.) Anyway it won’t surprise anyone here to hear that it appears she’s manipulating some people who are probably a bit too nice for their own good, and a couple who are a bit sad and thirsty (think lonely divorced dad sort of types).

The too-nice people are thankfully friends with people who knew of Jack back when I did, so she probably won’t be able to get her claws too deep in to them, even though nobody wants to upset them by telling them what a horror she is. Sounds like there’s a lot of restraint going on at the moment, but seeds are being planted and watered, so when the scales fall off, it won’t be too much of a shock. Must suck so much to be her and to know that nearly everyone she’s ever met thinks she’s a massive irredeemable hole.
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Oh my god, I am desperate for details. Manipulating how? I am agog!
 
Lucy Aeroplane said:
Bib HOW DARE YOU?! 😱😭 it’s literally the longest pleasure pier in the world AND Jamie Oliver has a series filmed down the end of it.
It’s also got a lifeboat station at the end and you can go and ring a gigantic metal bell if you like.
The council don’t value the pier enough IMO, though they got some fancy new trains for it a while back.

Lads I’ve got some very weak tea, which is that in her time away from Twitter it seems Jack has not only been doing the most cringey PR campaign with Curry’s and awfully unflattering photos, but also been trying to partially reintegrate herself into some bits of local life. (I can only recount what I’ve heard from someone who’s loathed her for years and years, so there’s an inherent anti-Jack bias, but that’s only fair because Jack’s a shitbag after all.) Anyway it won’t surprise anyone here to hear that it appears she’s manipulating some people who are probably a bit too nice for their own good, and a couple who are a bit sad and thirsty (think lonely divorced dad sort of types).

The too-nice people are thankfully friends with people who knew of Jack back when I did, so she probably won’t be able to get her claws too deep in to them, even though nobody wants to upset them by telling them what a horror she is. Sounds like there’s a lot of restraint going on at the moment, but seeds are being planted and watered, so when the scales fall off, it won’t be too much of a shock. Must suck so much to be her and to know that nearly everyone she’s ever met thinks she’s a massive irredeemable hole.
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Urgh. I'm not surprised. I see this sort of tit all the time at work 🍉. You can't polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter, for a while, then they revert back to type.
 
Seaford Haggington said:
So, which company is going to set fire to their brand next? Or will teaming up with a notorious internet beggarwoman and grifter not appeal to anyone else?
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Hamilton’s Water Breaks?

Apols to all the non-Alan Partidge fraus but she really is turning into a real life version of him. Toxic, unlikeable and collab kryptonite.

Even small companies with lower ad budgets won’t work with her, they tend to go with celebs who were famous back in the day and that maybe their audience will remember and who they can employ relatively cheaply. She was never famous enough in her heyday that they can trot her out to open village fetes or advertise canal boat holidays because nobody will have a clue who she is. Even now she’s pretty unknown.
 
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Someone replying from Currys in the middle of the night 😬

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HotesTilaire said:
Can you squeeze your erm teabag or microwave it (this was a bad analogy) FIND OUT IF SHE MOVED YET PLEASE, IBEG!
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Sh(e) ha(s)nt
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HotesTilaire said:
If Adrian has been Co-ordinating guest a big comeback, you’d have hoped a key milestone 🥕would be “write an accurate recipe” Imean, I’m not even asking for one which has enough calories, or tastes nice. Just one with no clangers in.
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Don't cook the Clangers. Pls.

OT 3.30am and I am wondering why tf The Clangers channel only has 18k subscribers.

Anyway... Slop dragon excerpt for youse
 
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