Jack Monroe #53 The patreon saint of perpetual victimhood

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maytoseptember said:
Just under £69,000 actually.



The book was published in the end, but it was about two years late and loads of backers demanded their money back because they were sick of waiting.

Who knows whether any of those promised “Rewards” came to fruition either 🤷‍♀️
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bleeping hell! I would pay 2 grand of the cash I get from Vlad not to have her cook for me and my mates.
 
acca00 said:
This is exactly what I have always said to myself every time I see her. I have never seen any animation. And when she talks it's like a dead fish, dead eyes. Always.
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Yes, I find them really quite disturbing.

Passive_Aggressive_Lemon said:
Again? :rolleyes: I’ve been off here all afternoon but I would bet Co-op’s finest Greek mezze selection that I can guess who it was.
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I would not bet against you.
 
jenny2603 said:
Can someone please TRIANGULATE these birds? I am obsessed with them to that point that Christmas will be cancelled if I don't have them. Jack if you're reading this I promise I will stop taking the piss and HOOTING at your antics if you reveal the source of the glorious birds.
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I got some very similar from a garden centre in Wakering which is but a hop, skip and scamper from Thorpe Bay Shoebury.
 
GothPrincess said:
Just the thought of stuffed marrow makes me heave. I’ve never had it btw. Just sounds horrific!
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It's just a courgette with delusions of grandeur. More watery, but the same vegetable.

Goes well with Rataouille type dishes, Arrabiata, thick mince/lentil sauces, chilli, that kind of thing - you need to cook it in a way where the additional water evaporates, so no slow cooking, but it's fine.
 
TheDragonWithAFlagon said:
It's just a courgette with delusions of grandeur. More watery, but the same vegetable.

Goes well with Rataouille type dishes, Arrabiata, thick mince/lentil sauces, chilli, that kind of thing - you need to cook it in a way where the additional water evaporates, so no slow cooking, but it's fine.
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It’s just a courgette takes me straight back to the This Morning debacle when Ruth was trying to be kind and told JM not to rush with her grating in case she hurt herself and was told, “IT’S JUST A COURGETTE”.
 
GothPrincess said:
Just the thought of stuffed marrow makes me heave. I’ve never had it btw. Just sounds horrific!
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Trying not to go OT here... my dad used to grow courgettes but frequently forget about them so we ended up with large, woody marrows... 🤢.

We had them stuffed with bolorngase, or even worse, ham and cheese sauce. Luckily, my parents could make a proper roux that did not need to “thicken up” in the oven.

JM holding a marrow, which in my opinion, is not that large, brings me to a shuddering heap.
 
J4n0Z said:
Because I'm a sad case with nothing better to do, I checked today's pic against some older ones.

This is just after the court case with KH, which I think was 2016? You can really see the difference.

On another note, that look..

Dead behind the eyes, defeated looking and worn out. Seems horribly familiar.
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As previously said not followed closely till the This Morning, pre lockdown salmon pasta, but when seeing/watching Jack there seems to be an emptiness in the eyes, in many ways it is sad, but all the drama and inaccuracies on social media make me give my head a wobble.Hope she does have a few days off as I need a rest from her drama and look forward to the chat you cabal will bring.
 
Pocahontas said:
Haven’t posted this for a few threads, so for any new joiners to the thread (also contains a link to the food and drink thread):



Here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info)

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL) : Threads 2 - 9

Jack’s most oft used reply to questions on recipe substitutions: yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite quotes by Jack:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘my maverick brain’

‘my sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’
🥴

One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is not dead, of course)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Also:

  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. This is good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos: https://tattle.life/threads/food-drink-2.7550/page-22#post-1927367
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Bib I quite like the recently coined maven
 
The only reason I’ve been able to catch up is because she’s taken a break. Hoping it sticks and she comes back renewed and having addressed some of her issues. I don’t like her or her actions so can’t pretend like I feel sorry for her, but she can’t be happy the way she is so maybe she’s taking steps to change that.
 
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