Jack Monroe #341 The numbers on the key are upside down

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I hate to break it to you, “eat your heart out Harold” Thirsty Jack, but Michael Bolton does a MUCH hotter Jack Sparrow than you.

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*And unlike you, he’s kind to animals too

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colouredlines said:
I just hope the next time she gets dumped it happens in winter, and we don't have to suffer through any sexy bikini pics.
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But then you risk naked feet in the snow pictures , where the snow provides cold therapy for not only her arthritic mangled feet but soothes the flaming dervish of a broken maverick heart , or whatever word vomit she chooses to caption it with
 
Jack taking thirsty selfies in her garden, showing off her new tat while doing the final final final final edits on the latest book that started over 2 years ago. Meanwhile, over the pond, LJC is slurping champers (with clean nails) and cruising under the Golden Gate Bridge…with friends. LOOK what you’re missing Louisa 🤭
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ChickenPorridge said:
.... lmfaooooo the hair. Just imagine how bonkers she looks IRL without the editing. And why is she threatening to shave it all off, you wore 3 metres of STUNT HAIR on your book cover you twit. My eyes have rolled off.
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Didn't she shave it last year. It's not like she hasn't shaved it off before, why the drama this time?!

Seriously how amazing does Louisa look. She really is glowing!
 
Boogs said:
There’s a load of future thread titles to be had aren’t there?
She facetuned the sky
Has she facetuned her nails?
Why is she facetuning the dog?
Why doesn’t she facetune the grass?
Why does she use facetune to make her look like a prepubescent schoolboy?
Why hasn’t someone given her a honorary doctorate for her services to facetune?
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Why doesn’t she FaceTime the pics of her food? 😂
 
Dogmuck said:
Jack taking thirsty selfies in her garden, showing off her new tat while doing the final final final final edits on the latest book that started over 2 years ago. Meanwhile, over the pond, LJC is slurping champers (with clean nails) and cruising under the Golden Gate Bridge…with friends. LOOK what you’re missing Louisa 🤭
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It's amazing what a new lease of life ditching Jack gives people. I wonder if it's a bit like having had a near death experience and makes you determined to enjoy the rest of your life to the full.
 
Amanda Lin said:
I think it’s all a performance to madden and confuse old Harold.

He likes ladies in bikinis, but hates tattoos and the hairstyle of the Ancient Greece.

Thing is though Jack, he is still at his caravan with Maureen and not bothered.
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Ok I know mackie logic is totally bonkers, but, if you are trying to attract the attention of somebody, who isn’t on SM, why plaster yourself all over, SM?
 
Pocahontas said:
Congratulations to @Froggies for the thread title, words by @Vinbisha , which are about Jack’s brand new, incredibly meaningful tattoo of a key with an upside-down tag attached to it (that references a page in the AA book about Acceptance). Your prize is a visually offputting tattoo by an apprentice.

Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

Ooh fellow trained fire warden here, I'm allowed to put a high viz vest on in the event of a fire so the fire fighters know I'm the important one with the clipboard of building plans and personal evacuation plans for each client. Does that mean I have a fire fighting uniform ( not lying, just...
tattle.life

Recap of last thread:

1. Jack said she warned the parliamentary select committee back in January about the shortage of grains imported from Ukraine / Russia. Did they heed her warning? No, those fools! We’re paying for it now!
2. She rose early and baked some wholemeal hybrid chocolate subpar cookies that looked sh — sorry, Acceptance is key.
3. Slopbot’s first album dropped and we appreciated those sick beats.
4. She’s currently lying on a hammock doing her final final final final final final final final final final edits. Her arthritic shoulder is causing her pain but she can put suncream on with her hypermobile left arm and tweet like billyo still.
5. Sun’s out, braids out. Yes, she has braids as she can’t wash her hair and she’s sweaty, she may also be peri menopausal. It’s not cultural appropriation because she’s half Greek. 🤷🏻‍♀️
5. Apparently the puppy is under the hammock out of the heat but there’s no photos of that particular puppy. Geddit?!
6. Sorry, I haven’t done the template but hopefully Lazarus will when she catches up.
7. Wiki if you’re new, ‘thread title’ when nominating one!
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Isn’t it quarter greek? 🤣🤣
 
traumatised sideboard said:
This is the first week in over two months that I've got my appetite back but seeing leathery Jack in a bikini top with a viewing porthole is putting me right off my falafel.
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Is it just me or is the bikini a tad small, I only ask because it seems in the slebs world that wearing ill fitting swim wear is the way forward. I think it looks awful and terribly uncomfortable and it always amazes me the people with so much money cannot afford a bikini that fits.
 
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