Jack Monroe #311 Please consider the environment before printing this thread

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'Shared a car' is HNW parlance which people use for Uber or minicabs now even though traditionally it's about towncars or limos.

My best guess is that a train was cancelled and a taxi replacement provided, either by the train company, or cadged by the smol pixie off someone with deep pockets who was in a rush.

Alternatively, it could be lies to make an 'interesting' story for the main character on Twitter to insert themselves into.
 
Oh Jack this is wonderful news! So well deserved. Praise Beans. You have manifested these marvelous career opportunities just by your very aura (well something needs to explain the pervasive aroma of inexplicable eggs and cooking bacon). I'm so truly, truly delighted for you, you blessed likkle smol, teensy weensy, bench presser of majesties. Does this mean you can stop grifting and begging and accept that you earn actual money?
 
usefullyuseless said:
I wonder what's going on with Louisa lately that has prompted Jack's 'LOOK HOW GREAT THINGS ARE GOING FOR ME!!!1!!!1!'
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She was rubbing shoulders with some very gorgeous and glam people in her team at the BAFTAs a fortnight ago, and is NYC taking her niece there for her 18th birthday (what a nice aunt!)

Meanwhile, Jack pretends to be away with an OH by photographing herself using a tripod in Venice.
 
LennyBriscoe said:
I’m really enjoying the thought that you fraus all visited your local libraries to count the copies! That would be complete dedication and worth it to prove Miss Snarky Pants a liar again.

Someone on another thread I post on mentioned Bo Selecta Mel B and my contribution was “fisting? FISTING? Fists are for punching!” Normally I wouldn’t repeat this kind of vulgarity (😇), you’re a bad influence @Geetbo!
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BlendedSlop said:
Also, given she referred to her 5 minute Lorraine slop slot and the Netflix-sponsored tit pudding as "gigs of a lifetime" I hope none of us are getting carried away imagining what her 5 bucket list jobs were.
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We never got our promised aneurysms. She must have more on her bucket list to thrill us into death.

Isn't it strange how Jack is always going on about the awful trolling she gets, she makes posts implying people want her dead, yet it's her and the devout Squigs that are the ones making such nasty threats?
 
Let's face it, Jack would never be able to manifest anything. Isn't the basic theory behind 'law of attraction' that you maintain positive thoughts, as what you focus attention on, you attract? Jack the eternal victim, wallowing in self pity, unable to acknowledge how privileged she is, motivated by spite - wouldn't manifest a thing. Other than pumbles, slop and bailiffs.
 
LennyBriscoe said:
I’m really enjoying the thought that you fraus all visited your local libraries to count the copies! That would be complete dedication and worth it to prove Miss Snarky Pants a liar again.

Someone on another thread I post on mentioned Bo Selecta Mel B and my contribution was “fisting? FISTING? Fists are for punching!” Normally I wouldn’t repeat this kind of vulgarity (😇), you’re a bad influence @Geetbo!
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THAT WAS ME! I don’t get round many threads I promise 😆
 
Nottonightbabe said:
Let's face it, Jack would never be able to manifest anything. Isn't the basic theory behind 'law of attraction' that you maintain positive thoughts, as what you focus attention on, you attract? Jack the eternal victim, wallowing in self pity, unable to acknowledge how privileged she is, motivated by spite - wouldn't manifest a thing. Other than pumbles, slop and bailiffs.
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And an eggy guff
 
I’m catching up so this has maybe been covered but is this something Jack wrote or did someone send it to her? It’s just the “big mood” comment and that person writes hella better than Jackanory

3C494B90-86DF-4C93-97CB-2B0F382C5BF0.jpeg
 
Nottonightbabe said:
Let's face it, Jack would never be able to manifest anything. Isn't the basic theory behind 'law of attraction' that you maintain positive thoughts, as what you focus attention on, you attract? Jack the eternal victim, wallowing in self pity, unable to acknowledge how privileged she is, motivated by spite - wouldn't manifest a thing. Other than pumbles, slop and bailiffs.
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Screenshot 2022-05-24 16.19.24.png
 
5 once in a lifetime opportunities list:

1. spout absolute twaddle on twitter and get paid for it ✅
2. Spout absolute twaddle on radio and get paid for it ✅
3. Spout absolute twaddle on TV and get paid for it ✅
4. Spout absolute twaddle in the press and get paid for it ✅
5. Look into colab with Uber eats, (uber driver works in the industry)

secret 6. win another libel case
 
Valiofthedolls said:
I was ‘literally’ coming to say the same thing. “About” 10,000 hours (so 9,999) in a year is this many hours a day. #forensic #thanksJackforallthatyoudo

View attachment 1290824 q
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That's how many hours per day she works for free obvs 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also ya big goon, all 5 items of your bucket list ticked off in the space of what? An hour? Jesus even my dog can make up more believable stories than you Jack ffs
 
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Satisfying Click said:
She was rubbing shoulders with some very gorgeous and glam people in her team at the BAFTAs a fortnight ago, and is NYC taking her niece there for her 18th birthday (what a nice aunt!)

Meanwhile, Jack pretends to be away with an OH by photographing herself using a tripod in Venice.
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Aw that's so lovely, she sounds like such a nice aunt. Makes me even sadder that Jack didn't bring SB to Venice with her though.
 
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