Jack Monroe #292 Poet, philosopher, fighter, cook, hero

[colouredlines]

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"Yer box is universal" will be my go-to insult from now on.

Sad times, Frauen - today I was in a hammam. It had big ceramic candle holders with star-shaped cutouts, to make stars of light. And, instead of relaxing, it just made me think of the time Jack Monroe drilled holes in old tin cans (not fully cleaned, complete with bits of tomato) to make tealight holders for her bathroom.

 

[humpty.]

Can anyone tell me if Jack is seeing someone? She's so subtle I can't figure it out

How long has it been now? And not a single person interested There will be an actual photo of the back of them doing household chores in the next 3 days…. SOMEONE SOMEWHERE PLEASE CARE

 

[Powershower]

But most only pay £1

AnD ThEy DoNT eVEn WaNt A ReWaRD !!!!

 

[Captainmouse]

Bleurgh coconut milk in a stroganoff? Why just why. It's not a stroganoff in any way Jack

it's a Slopanoff

 

[Geetbo]

I’m just trying to imagine what a sausage that costs 5p would taste like. I’m guessing like licking a pigs bumhole.

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Five sausages between three adults ( I assume SB is pretty much on adult portions ) and 50g rice as a portion ? Isn’t 70g the recommended portion size ?

 

[Winners_Song]

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Quite surprised she has allowed a NESTLE product to be featured here but her politics are nothing if not inconsistent why has the child still got treats leftover from last weekend anyway? Let him eat them Jack you bastard

 

[maytoseptember]

So she ate that disgusting fried bacon and cheese monstrosity at 2am we know she didn’t and said it was soooo delicious she’d be having it again for lunch.

But no photo evidence of either sandwich so whatever

And now we’re supposed to believe she’s eating double helpings of that oily sausage slop for dinner? Kudos for snapping a photo to prove it exists, I suppose.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Why is it so slimy?

 

[Satisfying Click]

From the woman who brought us sausage toffee, I give you.. sausage juice

 

[FlirtyThirty]

OMFG.

ETA. No one cares about OH Jack. Please, please, please stop.

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Why is it in a dogs bowl…oh

ETA myself and @Boyo are clearly kindred spirits

 

[Smeghead]

how come the sausage bits look like prawns?

I think when she was trying to cut frozen sausages with a pair of scissors she may have inadvertently taken off a chunk of unruly labia

 

[humpty.]

Five sausages between three adults ( I assume SB is pretty much on adult portions ) and 50g rice as a portion ? Isn’t 70g the recommended portion size ?

No wonder she needs to eat “off the plan” at 2am

 

[Geetbo]

From the woman who brought us sausage toffee, I give you.. sausage juice

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Not the only sausage juice being spaffed on Jack of late I’m sure. #haroldtruther

 

[Elastoblast]

Five sausages between three adults ( I assume SB is pretty much on adult portions ) and 50g rice as a portion ? Isn’t 70g the recommended portion size ?

Now, now, they only need a teensy bit of rice as they'll be so stuffed eating the delicious, coconutty, mixed herb flavoured, greeny oily slick of yummy scrummy stroganoff sauce and the absolutely edible and ethically sourced sausage scissored into perfectly pixie sized pieces

 

[Aquamarina]

Five sausages between three adults ( I assume SB is pretty much on adult portions ) and 50g rice as a portion ? Isn’t 70g the recommended portion size ?

I was just about to say something similar. Five probably quite shrivelled bollock sausages in a sea of sludge can in no way feed three people. I don’t understand why more squigs don’t call her out on the very low calorie content of her disgusting recipes.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Toddlers have busier days than Jack

Tooooooo early….

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Posting without comment

 

[GoLando]

OMFG.

ETA. No one cares about OH Jack. Please, please, please stop.

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Why’s she eating it out a bleeping dog bowl?

ETA of course others see this too. Thank you Canal.

 

[jordishaw]

I am fairly confident that I could slice a sausage more effectively with a knife than with kitchen scissors, though will admit that I have zero experience of bollock sausages so may be overlooking the challenges of their texture.