Jack Monroe #288 Only a psychopath separates a bunch of bananas for a photograph.

[Ostapbender]

A squig has written Jack a little poem. It's every bit as abysmal as you'd imagine.

Spoiler: A terrible poem

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Lights OFF

 

[Candytuft]

100%. We've been saying for over two years now that she needs to get off Twitter and the internet in general.

Twitter will be her ultimate undoing.

You would think so but if she left Twitter tomorrow it wouldn’t have a massive impact on her earnings. The patreon for nothing. It’s all relative. She just grifts to get more. I have two pensions not free I paid and pay tax on them that’s with working for 40 years in a professional but lowly paid job. She could step down and disappear and the squigs who are well off enough not to notice an amount of money will continue not to notice. She’s minted guaranteed.

 

[jenny2603]

I don't think the tax thing is going away anytime soon.

Lol. Poverty tourist.

 

[Captainmouse]

I still can’t believe that someone who makes a decent living out of being a food writer can make a bacon sarnie look so grim.

Every single thing she makes, look grim, even toast. Anything she displays that looks possibly edible, is usually shop bought, that she’s trying to pass off.

 

[hollywood]

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Dunno if I'm a maverick but I usually cook my bacon before I make a sandwich with it

That sandwich looks unruly to me

 

[Candytuft]

Every single thing she makes, look grim, even toast. Anything she displays that looks possibly edible, is usually shop bought, that she’s trying to pass off.

Ha ! The little chopped up potatoes that pop up now and again. The ones in the Supermarket. The Greek food shop bought in Edinburgh display . I can’t be doing with someone who can’t make a Yorkshire pudding. Very hot fat with cold mix it can’t go wrong.

 

[moldwarp]

You would think so but if she left Twitter tomorrow it wouldn’t have a massive impact on her earnings. The patreon for nothing. It’s all relative. She just grifts to get more. I have two pensions not free I paid and pay tax on them that’s with working for 40 years in a professional but lowly paid job. She could step down and disappear and the squigs who are well off enough not to notice an amount of money will continue not to notice. She’s minted guaranteed.

I understand what you’re saying but not sure I agree, she uses Twitter to keep up the poverty cosplay and remind them she’s “in need” and that’s why her Patreon subscribers stay, I think. I’m not sure that they get the stuff they’re ostensibly paying for (can’t recall what it is exactly but I think recipes, postcards, pics) with the regularity that they should.

To those saying she should leave Twitter: she can’t. She’s not only addicted to it but I also think it’s become the core of her constructed identity (since TV and radio Jack is drastically different from Twitter Jack). And now more than ever, she has to keep an eye on what all these brand new critics are saying about her.

a certain poetic justice, I guess. Live by the sword…etc

 

[HotesTilaire]

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Dunno if I'm a maverick but I usually cook my bacon before I make a sandwich with it

I was wondering about the raw meat sandwich. Isn’t BLT made of crispy bacon and that’s why it’s nice?
This sandwich looks like bad times.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

That sandwich looks unruly to me

I was about to post that. I don’t like myself for looking at it and thinking “unruly labia” and am off to have a piss, a sandwich (though not this one) and a little talk to myself

 

[trueblue222]

She’s loaded. She’s a grifting twit. There’s no way that Patreon is her only income. She’s a freeloading lazy grifting twit. Lazy as. Wants to sit on twitter talking shite all day and get other people to pay for it.

one of my twitter followers. In fact two who are generally quite astute can’t see past her. I have to grit my teeth every time they tweet how great she is. I certainly don’t wish her dead. I just think she’s nasty.

 

[Orphan_Black]

I was about to post that. I don’t like myself for looking at it and thinking “unruly labia” and am off to have a piss, a sandwich (though not this one) and a little talk to myself
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It really does look bleeping vile. It looks like tongues

And why has only half got the tit bacon?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Are we due another “look at my sobriety token” update soon??

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Here you go @Valiofthedolls

I don't know how she's even able to get out of bed with the weight of her own morals. No wonder her joints are bolloxed.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

She’s loaded. She’s a grifting twit. There’s no way that Patreon is her only income. She’s a freeloading lazy grifting twit. Lazy as. Wants to sit on twitter talking shite all day and get other people to pay for it.

one of my twitter followers. In fact two who are generally quite astute can’t see past her. I have to grit my teeth every time they tweet how great she is. I certainly don’t wish her dead. I just think she’s nasty.

Babes. Same. Had to mute Jack’s name. Most people on my timeline love Jack.

She’s loaded. She’s a grifting twit. There’s no way that Patreon is her only income. She’s a freeloading lazy grifting twit. Lazy as. Wants to sit on twitter talking shite all day and get other people to pay for it.

one of my twitter followers. In fact two who are generally quite astute can’t see past her. I have to grit my teeth every time they tweet how great she is. I certainly don’t wish her dead. I just think she’s nasty.

Babes. Same. Had to mute Jack’s name. Most people on my timeline love Jack.

No idea what it’s doubled up - I’m rubbish at this.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I mean it’s pretty much a given that the me & SB will be watching the match on her phone was bollocks- sorry @MancBee. But I hope if he is with Jack he at least got to watch the match. Liverpool are in the final .

Actually speaking of where is our favourite Mancunian Bee?

 

[Candytuft]

I understand what you’re saying but not sure I agree, she uses Twitter to keep up the poverty cosplay and remind them she’s “in need” and that’s why her Patreon subscribers stay, I think. I’m not sure that they get the stuff they’re ostensibly paying for (can’t recall what it is exactly but I think recipes, postcards, pics) with the regularity that they should.

To those saying she should leave Twitter: she can’t. She’s not only addicted to it but I also think it’s become the core of her constructed identity (since TV and radio Jack is drastically different from Twitter Jack). And now more than ever, she has to keep an eye on what all these brand new critics are saying about her.

a certain poetic justice, I guess. Live by the sword…etc

I agree with you as well. I know what you mean. It’s difficult to say sometimes. I stand by my my thoughts that she will have a good income for as long as the patrons have an active account. The thing is is that it’s not enough. Nothing ever is.

 

[Adayinthelife]

Fraus… I had cooking bacon for breakfast… am I…. Jack?…,
Why you sob?
Realised I’m a knob…

 

[hollywood]

I was about to post that. I don’t like myself for looking at it and thinking “unruly labia” and am off to have a piss, a sandwich (though not this one) and a little talk to myself
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I did think twice before posting and yes I do feel bit grubby

 

[Shimmering]

Part of me thinks she engineers these twitter dramas so that she has an excuse for her publisher as to why her draft isn't ready yet

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I was wondering about the raw meat sandwich. Isn’t BLT made of crispy bacon and that’s why it’s nice?
This sandwich looks like bad times.

That's how I know it's not cooking bacon it's roast gammon. I know this because it one of my faves, all cooking bacon is raw at source and frying or grilling will not produce that look.