Jack Monroe #277 It's safest to assume that all Jack's tweets are lies unless proven otherwise.

[DinosaurSenior]

Just spent a lovely afternoon with my dear friend who is an actual, current food bank user, living in homeless accommodation with no cooker .

We looked at some of Jack's greatest monstrosities, and he was bent double laughing. Then we went to Tesco, where he bought yellow sticker veg to steam in the microwave and have with tuna. He eats healthily and well.

He should be Jack's target audience, but he wouldn't touch any of the horrors she creates .

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

That’ll be another few grand in corporate speaker fees, then, for talking about something she admits she has no recent experience of. Cool.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

She has a lovely big garden to use her camping stove and bbq though doesn’t she?

I think this has been discussed before, but is camping gas or charcoal cheaper than regular gas or electricity? I don’t own either a camping stove or BBQ so I have no clue. I’m wondering if the people referenced in the original tweet are planning on using foraged wood rather than commercially available fuel.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Why is she so bloody keen to start a riot? And then when it happens, rather than getting in balls deep herself, she wants to sit up a tree lording it over people, pelting them with Del Monte stockpile pears, petals and rancid cheese. A true woman of the people is our Jack.

 

[ednaturnblad]

Jack should let someone with more recent experience or knowledge of period poverty do the talk.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Well it’s either Superdrug or Boots isn’t it.

I can’t believe people are still believing her nonsense about poverty despite the squiggle uprising. I would say I can’t believe she’s crowdsourcing stories but that’s a lie, she doesn’t have a single original thought in her tiny little brain. Why are they paying someone who has just admitted in several tweets they have no recent knowledge of the subject?

Shame on the organisation paying her money when it could be going to charities who help with these things, rather than a secret Tory rent-a-story-and-pass-it-off-as-her-own

Get to duck Jack you odious little runt.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I hope she pays people who contribute to this, she shouldn't profit from other people's poverty

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Wasn't the camping cooking gear robbed in the first burglary?

 

[Lazarus]

View attachment 1160807 qView attachment 1160808 qView attachment 1160810 q

She’s turning down 2000 interviews a day and chooses to accept one she has no understanding of, and is having to harvest other peoples experiences to share as anecdotal evidence?
Surely this would have been an ideal one to turn down on the basis of having no relevant experience?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

i’m pretty sure she marinated yellow sticker fish in lemon juice all afternoon then cooked it on a low heat for 2 hours…curiously it seems to have disappeared off the grid

Yeah, she deleted that one.

Here it is

 

[Veronicaaa]

Why is she so bloody keen to start a riot? And then when it happens, rather than getting in balls deep herself, she wants to sit up a tree lording it over people, pelting them with Del Monte stockpile pears, petals and rancid cheese. A true woman of the people is our Jack.

You just know if any riot did start in Southend she's actually be too busy boarding up her dad's various properties so that the peasants couldn't trash them. Before sending a crying selfie to Boris begging him to send in the tanks.

 

[ednaturnblad]

Why is she so bloody keen to start a riot? And then when it happens, rather than getting in balls deep herself, she wants to sit up a tree lording it over people, pelting them with Del Monte stockpile pears, petals and rancid cheese. A true woman of the people is our Jack.

She wouldn’t even do that if an actual riot started. She’d be safely holed up in the crappy bungalow, ‘partaking’ via Twitter.

 

[Feck]

Ceviche relies on acid. Jack tells people to use pineapple + lemon or lime juice, but doesn't know which ingredient is actually doing the work.

Ceviche also requires very fresh, good quality fish, as the acid will cure it, rather than cook it. It won't kill bacteria; the inside of a piece of ceviche should be similar to sashimi.

Spending £££ to buy suitable fish that lets you save money on your electricity bill is not the wisest move. #JacksHacks

Considering that she's previously raved about stacking her freezer with frozen Lord-only-knows-what fish I can just imagine. No. Actually. I can't even finish typing that. Soggy defrosted pineapple fish on limp lettuce. Excuse me, I think I need to hurl.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I like a tattoo, but I couldn't bear to see those ghastly inkings on my flesh day after day

 

[Ninch55]

View attachment 1160807 qView attachment 1160808 qView attachment 1160810 q

View attachment 1160822 q

does she know how many girls are already doing this in their schools? She’s got to be the big one with her important talks - has she even tried to approach the lasses who have been helping their schoolmates out for the past few years? No, because it’s not about her. And may I just give a massive round of applause to the Calderdale Crew including my niece and all her mates. They think you’re a twit, Jack, and so do most of their parents

 

[Silver Linings]

Yeah, she deleted that one.

Here it is

View attachment 1160852 q

“Jiggle my own tits”. I’d forgotten that. Actual lol.

 

[Jelly Bean]

That fish was not only sat in lime juice or whatever in the Edinburgh aparthotel fridge for a while, it was then baked for like AN HOUR (in its own juices ) so it was really a piece of smelly cardboard by the end of the process.

A joy of fresh fish is surely it takes minutes to cook so doesn't need wierd complicated methods of cooking it. Vegetables take longer.

And why is Jack even being asked about hygiene poverty? There are so many people out there who have direct and personal experience of it now.

 

[Elastoblast]

Ceviche relies on acid. Jack tells people to use pineapple + lemon or lime juice, but doesn't know which ingredient is actually doing the work.

Ceviche also requires very fresh, good quality fish, as the acid will cure it, rather than cook it. It won't kill bacteria; the inside of a piece of ceviche should be similar to sashimi.

Spending £££ to buy suitable fish that lets you save money on your electricity bill is not the wisest move. #JacksHacks

Exactly. Can't see this working with smart price tilapia and a dented tin of delmonte pineapple rings

 

[Captainmouse]

She has a lovely big garden to use her camping stove and bbq though doesn’t she?

I have never understood why with her huge garden she doesn’t grow stuff to eat, veg, herbs, salad etc

 

[HotesTilaire]

*files the tweet that says nobody else has access to Fack’s twitter account for future court case*