Jack Monroe #276 Breakfast at Griftany’s

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Jack has been awfully quiet since Saturday. I mean, I know she's there lurking like the malevolent presence she is and I shouldn't complain about this outbreak of peace but it feels ominous.

Anyway I meant to inform you all that I visited Edinburgh at the weekend. As I am capable of moving freely around Edinburgh I did not get a make a pilgrimage to Sainsburys as I was in one of the No Jack areas, however I do hope to return in the near future and take the opportunity to sidle up people whispering "do you remember when Jack visited Edinburgh?"
 
Retweed by Jack.

Screenshot_20220328-173639_Fenix.jpg
 
traumatised sideboard said:
They can't do that! Smart Price is her life's work!! TEN YEARS of campaigning!!! The Velux Blind Index!!!! If she was marauding around Asda crying at the sight of the Smart Price range returned to the shelves from which it had never actually left, imagine what she's going to do when she finds out it LEFT for realsies.
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Feels like they’ve definitely pulled the 90 percent vegan wool over her eyes. She said every branch of Asda would have the full Smart Price range by end of February, so her big reveal lasted around three weeks until they changed strategy. Asda are one of the good ones, she said. But she will turn this into something earth shattering I’m sure (when she reads the press release). Although didn’t Sainsbury’s say they were meeting her this week, so maybe the new Just Essentials Smarter Price Range will move there?
 
I'm bringing sexyjack (yeah)
Them other squigs don't know how to act (yeah)
you think you're special, what's inside that pot? (Yeah)
So turn around and I'll eat up the slop (yeah)
Take 'em to the bridge ANFIELD
Dirty babe (uh-huh)
You see these earrings, baby, I'm your slave (uh-huh)
I'll let you charge me if I misbehave (uh-huh)
It's just that no one makes me feel this way (uh-huh)
Take 'em to the chorus
Come here, girl (go 'head, be gone with it)
Come show me the hat (go 'head, be gone with it)
S.L.O.P. (go 'head, be gone with it)
No drinks on me (go 'head, be gone with it)
Let me see what you're twerking with (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Look at those Mediterranean hips (go 'henry, be gone with it)
You make me smile (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Go 'head child (go 'henry, be gone with it), and
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on (go 'henry, be gone with it)
Get your sexy on….
 
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Lol ten years of 'campaigning', Jack all smug that people think she single handedly brought back smart price. Mere weeks later- Asda "yeah we're scrapping all of that now" 😂

No doubt she'll hint that she had something to do with it/knew all about it/was consulted etc. Then she'll sit back and let the squigs draw that conclusion and won't correct them, and behold - another Jack Myth is born.
 
Into_the_tunnel said:
Are they forever? What if phones become obsolete?

What if the sun becomes a red giant and eats all the phones?

What if the universe collapses?

Sorry Hotes. Being a twit as per. When I don’t understand words (cognitive impairment because of LC/too many giant buttons)I resort to being a child.
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Sorry tunelly-in, have I swallowed a dictionary again?
After forever I should have put /s because, nothing is forever.
Life is just a fleeting rise from the slop into solid form, then back to slop again. Ashes to ashes, slop to sloppy, we know Captain Sir Tom’s a grift flunky.

Also there is the veryreal risk that someone might break the internet by typing “google” into google


I hate that carrot 🥕
 
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