Jack Monroe #261 Serial loser

Does Jack eat the slop?

  • Yes, absolutely x

    Votes: 34 12.8%

  • Nah, pal

    Votes: 232 87.2%
  • Total voters
    266
Status
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1
Pocahontas said:
Are those double Mr Raas perched on top of an unmade bed her heavy-handed hint that she enjoyed some jiggy jiggy with the owner of Mr Raa’s bro?
Now, who else on this fair earth would own such a soft toy?
The boy done good 🤢

caveat: I really don’t give two black pudding nuggets what she’s up to, but her hints are très pathétique.
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It actually wouldn’t surprise me if she had another baby.
SB is of an age now where he’s going to need her less and less. (Not that she does any actual parenting anyway) and there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t get off her enormous Mediterranean arse and get a job.
I think pregnant Jack would actually finish me off completely 😩. Can you imagine?
 
ednaturnblad said:
Wait wait wait, I can charge my boss for the time I spend recovering from work?? They should be teaching this is schools. Did anyone else not know this? Thank goodness Jack is here to educate us all.
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They’re not teaching it in schools yet, but she’s on it. It will be known as the 1-2 jackonomics working week and hailed throughout the land for its ingenuity. 1 day of work = two days off and all squeezed into an exhausting 60 hour working week 🥴
 
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Orphan_Black said:
That's nice of Jack to explain her booking fees, could we see how you pay your taxes, love?!

I went to a exhibition years ago about food production. One item was veggie black pudding. In the video, you got to see these really happy piggies, living a great life, and once a week they gave blood. You could see in the video the pigs were fine with all this. The blood was then made into black puddings. The creators claim it's vegetarian, which technically yeah, it is. It's effectively no different to milk or eggs at this point. However, my head just can't even.

I saw this about 4 years ago, and still the idea of veggie black pudding haunts me with it's technicalities. It is but it isn't! (Needed to share as I find the concept so bizarre!)
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She clearly charges a lot for her liespertise. Also, wtf veggie black pudding??
 
Cactusflower said:
It actually wouldn’t surprise me if she had another baby.
SB is of an age now where he’s going to need her less and less. (Not that she does any actual parenting anyway) and there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t get off her enormous Mediterranean arse and get a job.
I think pregnant Jack would actually finish me off completely 😩. Can you imagine?
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Pregnant Jack would be something to behold. She’d simultaneously be having the worst pregnancy anyone ever had, her doctors would undoubtedly tell her she had the worstest case ever of whatever pregnancy symptom she was experiencing that week, while puppishly, scrappily carrying on her good works of working twenty five hours a day to create recipes to feed the poors and tweeting to bring down the evil price increases of big rice.
 
Cactusflower said:
It actually wouldn’t surprise me if she had another baby.
SB is of an age now where he’s going to need her less and less. (Not that she does any actual parenting anyway) and there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t get off her enormous Mediterranean arse and get a job.
I think pregnant Jack would actually finish me off completely 😩. Can you imagine?
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Earth mama breastfeeding Jack with lots of "no judgement" judgey comments about formula feeding or militant "fed is best" Jack feeling shamed by others breastfeeding.
Vegetable slop in place of (recommended) pregnancy vitamins.
Expensive baby gear found in puddles and/or gifted (mummy influencers get a lot of stuff)
Lots of interaction with healthcare teams, blood tests etc. so breadcrumbing issues
Reprise of trans Jack as it makes her feel things about her body image ...
Tin rattles galore as her shitty bungalow can't possibly be big enough.

The opportunities are endless!
 
Orphan_Black said:
That's nice of Jack to explain her booking fees, could we see how you pay your taxes, love?!

I went to a exhibition years ago about food production. One item was veggie black pudding. In the video, you got to see these really happy piggies, living a great life, and once a week they gave blood. You could see in the video the pigs were fine with all this. The blood was then made into black puddings. The creators claim it's vegetarian, which technically yeah, it is. It's effectively no different to milk or eggs at this point. However, my head just can't even.

I saw this about 4 years ago, and still the idea of veggie black pudding haunts me with it's technicalities. It is but it isn't! (Needed to share as I find the concept so bizarre!)
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I love you OB but that is going to haunt me.

In return....

Some German officers almost got done for cannibalism after making it out of their own blood, and a frankly worrying amount of attention seekers have tried it.
 
Wooh said:
OMG! This is fantastic. Jack, you're such a liar, and I know it's out of a desperation to be something, but listen to yourself lying!
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I'm using it in my company* to demonstrate the importance of appropriate clothing for the task at hand.

*WFH, just made an omelette for lunch without my bra on show or any danger of hot fat meeting bare skin.
 
Cookiecookie said:
How is grating easier on arthritic hands than chopping? You still have to grip the item and push repetitively, both of which are difficult if having a flair up, I'd imagine.
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Also why not just say fucking grated in the first place!! YOU'RE GRATING MY TITS JACK.

I think this is why she has moved a man/baby daddy in. She’d never use a donor because then she would have to do all the work herself. She wants another SBs dad…
 
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