Jack Monroe #232 Griftmas time, rattle tin and whine

[Shesaidwhat?]

I'm still using one I bought in America in 1999 so I am probably not their core audience. (Yes, I know, am dirtier than Monroe's cutlery drawer).

I, the woman who used to set her make up with hairspray can not and will not judge anyones* makeup choices.


*aside from Jack

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Jack Monroe - finally reveals that she really does own a lot of Urban Decay eyeshadow in a full spectrum of colours.

The cabal -

 

[HotesTilaire]

I, the woman who used to set her make up with hairspray can not and will not judge anyones* makeup choices.


*aside from Jack

Still do, not paying urban decay £26 for setting spray, the eyeshadow was over thirty quid for starters!
Can’t say applying eyeshadow is something I’ve done when depressed. I struggle to wash and moisturise.

 

[Boyo]

Jack Aid 2021

[Jack (Young)]

It's Griftmastime
There's no need to be afraid
At Griftmastime
We let in light and we throw our shade

[Boy Jack]
And in my world of plenty
You can spread a gummy smile of joy
Throw your alms towards my world
At Griftmastime

[Jack Michael - after all, you gotta have faith]
But say a prayer
Pray for the worthy one
At Griftmastime it's hard

[Jack LeBonBons Through Airmail shoves her constantly sniffing nose in where it's not wanted)
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
[Allergic Jack] And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only cash that's flowing is

[Rish mate Jack elbows her way to the front]
Drowned out by the sting of tears
And the Griftmasbells that are ringing
Are clanging chimes of doom
Well, tonight thank Slop it's me instead of you.


[All the Jacks]
And there won't be butter in Southend now this Griftmastime.
The greatest gift they'll get this year is slop
Where nothing ever grows (because Jack rents! OK?)
No cash or postcards flow
Do you know it's Griftmastime at all?

Feed Jack praise
Let her know it's Griftmastime
Feed Jack's ego
Don't you know it's Griftmastime at all?

[Jack Young]
Here's to me
Raise a glass and pay me, this ain't for free
Here's to them
Underneath that burning big light
Don't you know it's Griftmastime at all?

[Chorus (All the Jacks)]
Feed the slop
Feed the slop
Feed the slop
Let Jack know it's Griftmastime again

Feed the pov
Let Jack know it's Griftmastime again
Feed the pov
Let Jack know it's Griftmastime again

Repeat

“Throw your alms towards my world” Je suis mort

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I won't be happy until I see a black eye that encompasses the entire spectrum of colours on that palette, finished with the ubiquitous and apparently self-replenishing Asda gold glitter spray. If it's good enough for a threatening pudding, it's good enough for Jack.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Still do, not paying urban decay £26 for setting spray, the eyeshadow was over thirty quid for starters!
Can’t say applying eyeshadow is something I’ve done when depressed. I struggle to wash and moisturise.

You put hairspray on top of your makeup?

 

[SlopAmbsase]

J1g-le Bells

 

[YenE]

View attachment 939240 q

No how dare you assume I’m trying to be positive. I AM DEPRESSED!
She really is a melt, why not reply with “Thanks! It’s only a small thing popping on some make up. It makes me feel good even if it’s only on for an hour. #celebratethesmalleins.”
Her mindset is just awful.

 

[HotesTilaire]

You put hairspray on top of your makeup?

It’s called lacquer....Yes and we used to iron our hair straight. Good times back in the 90s

 

[Sideboard Bob]

It’s a slopmas miracle. @kachoochoo there‘s an item you can tick!

 

[HotesTilaire]

I won't be happy until I see a black eye that encompasses the entire spectrum of colours on that palette, finished with the ubiquitous and apparently self-replenishing Asda gold glitter spray. If it's good enough for a threatening pudding, it's good enough for Jack.

Glitter spray might work as it’s likely glycerine based, just like these overpriced “make up setting sprays” they rip you off with these days, when a good blast of boots own hairspray does the same job #tilaireflair

 

[kachoochoo]

I wish my brain wasn't so much mush I couldn't get to do my own carol and well done to dragonny flaggony for keeping it up amongst the madness this evening!

love that her featured palette this eve was urban decay, after everything!

 

[EllaEm87]

It’s called lacquer....Yes and we used to iron our hair straight. Good times back in the 90s

The 90s?! I was doing the hairspray thing less than 10 years ago!

 

[SquiggleWiggle]

The 90s?! I was doing the hairspray thing less than 10 years ago!

I still do it, make up doesn’t move a inch!

 

[EllaEm87]

It’s a slopmas miracle. @kachoochoo there‘s an item you can tick!

View attachment 939401 q

Foolproof

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I’m loving this hairspray as setting spray support group we’ve got going on . It also doubles up as Botox for a good couple of minutes as you can’t move your face. There’s a #JackHack for ya Jack .

 

[Sideboard Bob]

These were “liked” by Jack (about the brioche thing), and it made me laugh because they’re basically like our reactions to various slops but in a different tone of voice!

Also, I love the make up nostalgia chat and have loads to mither about, so if anyone wants to join me, https://tattle.life/threads/food-and-drink-21.25534/page-3#post-7593736 (I’m sure there’s even more hairspray FACTS to shock Tunnel with too!)

 

[Raver_Bear]

To the tune of good king wenceslas

Little Jackie took to Twitter
On feast of griftmas
Where squiggles flounded round
To hear tales of pov-mas

Brightly shone the Tip jar button
Though it was quite cruel
To rob the poor sad squ-iggles
Of their winter fu-uel

 

[Mr Krabs]

I hate coloured eyeshadow

Maybe she was reading the posts in the last thread where people were saying she couldn’t pull off the Pat Butcher look and she was like I’ll bleeping show you.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I still do it, make up doesn’t move a inch!

I still do it!
Don’t need to iron hair since straighteners were invented at the turn of the century

Waiting for the slop goblin to mention this tip in a future tweet