Jack Monroe #223 Butter. Buttery buttery butter

[Geetbo]

Perhaps we could have a whip around and get you a homemade mix tape of us one finger banging the panio and singing in quivering voices to play for your first dance? Will that improve the odds.

Pay for Jack to conduct the ceremony and we can talk.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Pay for Jack to conduct the ceremony and we can talk.

I’d be asking her to sing Landslide acapella as you walk down the aisle. Along with the accompanying intro. Then again, you’d probably get to France walking in the amount of time it lasts.

 

[JuliaGulia]

Ooh The Sloppies, something wonderful to look forward too. Does my Sloppies red carpet uniform require side tit and spicy pringles?

Yes absolutely x

 

[Geetbo]

I’d be asking her to sing Landslide acapella as you walk down the aisle. Along with the accompanying intro. Then again, you’d probably get to France walking in the amount of time it lasts.

I wonder if it’s possible for my future husband to divorce me before we marry.

 

[Captainmouse]

Thank(space)you for doing this! Some very difficult choices had to be made. I’d love to know what Jack has voted for

I wonder what LJC has voted for

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I wonder what LJC has voted for

Nothing. Louisa Crompton was banned from Tattle.

 

[Boyo]

Pay for Jack to conduct the ceremony and we can talk.

Oh god, can you imagine? Opening with “Hi everyone, I’m Jack Monroe, blogger, single mum, cook, activist, word wrangler, slop goblin, accidental conquerer of my own fears, Nigella stan, room re-arranger, communal skip enthusiast, ivory thwacker, milf hunter, facetune enthusiast, zeitgeist chaser, 19th most important le……oh, where did everyone go?”

 

[Captainmouse]

No one. Louisa Crompton was banned from Tattle.

But I bet she has

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’ve made one of those avatar filters like you get on Facebook to say I’ve voted, but I’ve used Jack levels of skill to make it

 

[Captainmouse]

I’ve made one of those avatar filters like you get on Facebook to say I’ve voted, but I’ve used Jack levels of skill to make it

What a fab idea

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Oh god, can you imagine? Opening with “Hi everyone, I’m Jack Monroe, blogger, single mum, cook, activist, word wrangler, slop goblin, accidental conquerer of my own fears, Nigella stan, room re-arranger, communal skip enthusiast, ivory thwacker, milf hunter, facetune enthusiast, zeitgeist chaser, 19th most important le……oh, where did everyone go?”

Read "ivory thwacker" and thought, hmmm, I don't remember Unkind-to-Elephants Jack...
Then my smol brain realised what you meant.
It's been a long day...

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Perhaps we could have a whip around and get you a homemade mix tape of us one finger banging the panio and singing in quivering voices to play for your first dance? Will that improve the odds.

 

[EllaEm87]

We better get hats

I think we should all get kumquats, personally.

 

[Hollaaa]

If it's good enough for a lasagne it's good enough for a piano.

I’ve made one of those avatar filters like you get on Facebook to say I’ve voted, but I’ve used Jack levels of skill to make it

I love this, I have given Roger a knock-off statement necklace to match.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I went for the lens-flare-fingers-pointing-at-child's-sweatshirt selfie because not only did it cause my intestines to start attempting to constrict my lungs like a python with sheer cringe but the resultant in-thread chaos was second only to a mole.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

It's a tough choice between shock factor Vs hilarity in every category

 

[Lanie]

Pay for Jack to conduct the ceremony and we can talk.

Don't think I could afford a forever home?! Sorry

How her outrage at a man in politics going?

 

[JuliaGulia]

I went for the lens-flare-fingers-pointing-at-child's-sweatshirt selfie because not only did it cause my intestines to start attempting to constrict my lungs like a python with sheer cringe but the resultant in-thread chaos was second only to a mole.

Babe, same.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Ooh The Sloppies, something wonderful to look forward too. Does my Sloppies red carpet uniform require side tit and spicy pringles?

I'm going with spicy tits and side Pringles..

 

[L3moning]

That meaning aside, it reminded me (because a lot does) of the opening to this Conor Oberst song, although I suspect the opening chord took a bit more than one finger:



The song is kind of irrelevant here, but it does set the tone for an album when the opening line is It's a mass grave / a dollar fifty resting place...