Jack Monroe #201 Queen of Sharts

[secretsu]

"All of my spoons tell stories"
That has to be the next thread title surely?!

 

[Tabitha D]

So I guess we can add “drawing” to the never-ending list of things that Jack is crap at (but thinks she’s brilliant at).

 

[Pocahontas]

So I guess we can add “drawing” to the never-ending list of things that Jack is crap at (but thinks she’s brilliant at).

Good job she never did Nigella’s garden then.

 

[Lanie]

Jack Monroe #202 - All of my spoons tell stories


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Thats like a drawing you do for gcse practice.

"All of my spoons feel stress" No wonder when you're holding them love!

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What is she mixing her own homemade cat food?!

 

[Hollaaa]

I wish I had the skillz to do a Bob Ross beardy makeover on a Jack pic

I wish I had the skillz to put a Jimmy Nail face on a spoon.

 

[Pocahontas]

I wish I had the skillz to put a Jimmy Nail face on a spoon.

 

[colouredlines]

Ooh, I hope she does one of her cutlery drawer next...more stories than Scheherazade in there!

ETA: do we think each spoon tells a different story or, like their mistress, do they all circle back to a single weetabix and no jam?

 

[Lanie]

Was feeling kooky and was sorting out some "google stock" photos.

These spoons tell my story but with a jaunty Mary poppins vibe. "A spoonful of sugar helps the slop slip down, in the most repulsive way"

 

[HotesTilaire]

Bit tone deaf to those of us in the spoonie community, showing off like that ETA Jack showing off so many spoons!

Spoiler: Spoonie

for anyone who doesn’t know “the Spoon Theory” is a tale which explains the daily struggles for someone with a low-energy condition like ME and loads of other conditions

 

[Lanie]

Bit tone deaf to those of us in the spoonie community, showing off like that

Spoiler: Spoonie

for anyone who doesn’t know “the Spoon Theory” is a tale which explains the daily struggles for someone with a low-energy condition like ME and loads of other conditions

Apologies. I didnt know.

 

[kachoochoo]

all of my spoons tell stories... to each other, in the middle of the night, over a pint or seven of dish water, to try to alleviate their stress

"man, it's been a rough day"

"eggs again was it?"

"aye, with fish"

"did you see what she did to steve tho?"

"aye, that must've been hard on him"

"where is he, come to think of it? I don't recall seeing him in the sink under tray"

"tit, has she taken him up to bed again? with that pan?"

"duck"

"duck"

(faintly, from a distance) "heeeeelp meeee..."

 

[Hollaaa]

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Thank you very Poca much, Poca.

I suppose an animated 12-part series of the spoons delivering The Complete Monroe on Monroe by Jack Monroe is out of the question? Jude Law gives good narrator, I'm sure he'd be up for an episode. Maybe David Walliams? I reckon Eamonn Holmes would do a brilliant job on the old voicework as well.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Apologies. I didnt know.

Oh cripes that was a joke aimed at Jack, no shade on you @Lanie

 

[traumatised sideboard]

All q my spoons fell stoves. Mousse. Tel (Terry the Sparrow, is that you??) W.

Are we in the Drawing Jack epoch? This is the only circumstances under which I will say this but pleaaaaase get in my niche Jack. I was unfairly cheated out of Guitar Jack but this will make up for it, please LJC if you're listening

 

[Lanie]

all of my spoons tell stories... to each other, in the middle of the night, over a pint or seven of dish water, to try to alleviate their stress

"man, it's been a rough day"

"eggs again was it?"

"aye, with fish"

"did you see what she did to steve tho?"

"aye, that must've been hard on him"

"where is he, come to think of it? I don't recall seeing him in the sink under tray"

"tit, has she taken him up to bed again? with that pan?"

"duck"

"duck"

(faintly, from a distance) "heeeeelp meeee..."

Are you writing your own fifty shades of grey style book.

As she lovingly caressed steve( the well worn wooden spoon) she shuddered at the hardness of his handle, as she gently dipped his head teasingly into the steaming, achoiade. She let the juices drip from him down her quivering chin and cried out with undue excitement.

 

[L3moning]

So I guess we can add “drawing” to the never-ending list of things that Jack is crap at (but thinks she’s brilliant at).

Eh, it's not the worst drawing ever, honestly. I'm not convinced I (GCSE in Art, grade E) could do much better, but I also don't think I'd be that much worse (since Still Life was one of the things I could just about do).

 

[EllaEm87]

Woah, she thought she was being really profound there, didn’t she?

I hope she’s not bloody sorting paperwork in a caravan on SBs holidays! Also stop sorting crappy ould drawings and sort something important like your accounts or your VERY late book draft.

 

[BantzMonkey]

All her last two Instagram posts prove is that she is very, very easily impressed... and pretty delusional. Just where does all her misplaced self confidence come from?

 

[Lanie]

Seemed to have made quite a few of you feel sick with my last post. ( Not sorry)

Still must be nice for her that someone else posts are making people feel ill.

 

[kachoochoo]

Are you writing your own fifty shades of grey style book.

As she lovingly caressed steve( the well worn wooden spoon) she shuddered at the hardness of his handle, as she gently dipped his head teasingly into the steaming, achoiade. She let the juices drip from him down her quivering chin and cried out with undue excitement.

looks like you've got that sub genre of fanfic covered already