Jack Monroe #198 Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!

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Lanie said:
:oops: i have none of these things
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Do you have a giant curly wig? A viv (RIP) dress? A grey Calvin Klein sports bra? A stripy suit? A stripy skirt? Hammer pants? A floral crown? All are clothing of the true jackolyte.

There’s that awkward moment when we try to pass around the homemade kombucha and slimy slow cooker bread and everyone says ‘ah no thanks - I ate before I left’
No sacrament will be made.

(my fake cults go very catholic - other fake cults are available)
 
exile came on my spotify just now and i remembered the swiftie jack episode, which was very offensive to me.

can't find the screenshots where she said she was "picking out exile on the piano" tho

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bowiethesdmn said:
...have we started a cult?
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On nights when the moon is full, we show our devotion by working a 20 hour day, then sitting inside a circle of beans whilst clawing and howling at the moon. The Goddess' divine messages are interpreted through Slopmancy (an ancient method of divination which involves cupping a bowl of brown ephemera in dirty hands and reading the patterns of lumps and smears).
 
Vanelope said:
Do you have a giant curly wig? A viv (RIP) dress? A grey Calvin Klein sports bra? A stripy suit? A stripy skirt? Hammer pants? A floral crown? All are clothing of the true jackolyte.

There’s that awkward moment when we try to pass around the homemade kombucha and slimy slow cooker bread and everyone says ‘ah no thanks - I ate before I left’
No sacrament will be made.

(my fake cults go very catholic - other fake cults are available)
Click to expand...

By the light of the moon, a circle of upcycled Del Monte cans are placed in a circle around the garden and filed with tea lights.

We then strip down to our underwear, carefully tucking away our unruly labia, before sliding across a sideboard, one by one, then dropping to the floor howling and clawing in a frenzied state in an attempt to summon ex-girlfriends to our bungalow.

If we manage to accidentally set fire to something then our crops will be fruitful for the next year.
 
BlendedSlop said:
On nights when the moon is full, we show our devotion by working a 20 hour day, then sitting inside a circle of beans whilst clawing and howling at the moon. The Goddess' divine messages are interpreted through Slopmancy (an ancient method of divination which involves cupping a bowl of brown ephemera in dirty hands and reading the patterns of lumps and smears).
Click to expand...
Does Cotswold do an altar?
 
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