Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[Nottonightbabe]

Well you tweet and delete
But we've ALL the receipts
That's a moleeeeee!

 

[Toffee finger]

Fizzing and hooting at these

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

When you cook in your shed
And we can't see your head
That's a moleeee

I must stop.

I'm crying...

 

[schmetterling]

When potatoes make you cry,
Sentient coat racks, how they lie!
(all together now) FACK'S A MORON!

 

[Carmina-Piranha]

When you piss off your fans,
With your thousands of cans,
That's amoleeee...

 

[indigomoon]

When R Jack is a bleep
That’s all folks, she’s a bleep
That’s amooollleeeee!

 

[NP]

Jackfruit pineapple hats,
No thanks very Matt much Matt
That’s a moleeee

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I love how the cabal entertains itself when Jack is being inconsiderately quiet

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

When R Jack is a bleep
That’s all folks, she’s a bleep
That’s amooollleeeee!

This one

 

[HotesTilaire]

When you
Pull yourself up by your bootstrap
But your output and backstory is crap
That’s a-story

 

[Hollaaa]

When you can't sing or dance
But have grey bra and pants
That's a moleeee!

What a luvverly knees-up for a Friday afternoon.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

When you really can't cook
But you still write a book
That's amore

When you pretend to be poor
But own many sideboards
That's a Tory

this is fun can we do haiku next time?

 

[Mr Krabs]

This photo puts me in mind of hugging the toilet bowl and trying to stop the dry heaves after a night of heavy everythinging.

There's also probably a toilet-talent analogy to be made here but I'm too tired so just pretend I did.

eta: oh god i ruined the singalong

Where the slop ends up, eventually.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I knew I could rely on one of you guys

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Jackfruit pineapple hats,
No thanks very Matt much Matt
That’s a moleeee

'No thanks very Matt much Matt' has killed me!
Thank(space)You!

 

[PortiaControl]

When your GIFs are all cursed
And your cooking's the worst
That's a mole

 

[Emmapism]

Raising my Friday night glass of wine to you all and apologies for the ear worm

 

[Switchstreetz]

When you
Pull yourself up by your bootstrap
But your output and backstory is crap
That’s a-story

More like...That's a TORYyyyy

edit: I see @bowiethesdmn beat me to it

 

[traumatised sideboard]

When your cat's half Maine Coon
And you own eighty spoons
That's a mole

When you say you're AWAY
And your béchamel neighs
That's a mole

When you jump in a skip
And sell pics of your nips
That's a mole

By the way @HotesTilaire thank you so Hotes much Hotes but I would like for it to go on the record that Jack appears to have only referenced herself as 'mama' and never her mother. I hereby submit to the court the evidence upon which I based my original wording:

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Her use of the word 'pop' irritates me to such a degree that I had to take a second and check myself before I responded when my wife said it this morning