Jack Monroe #193 Mama, pass the UNICEF statistics and the Hansards!

[MancBee]

When your pasta's all hard
And is covered in lard
That's a moleeee

When linguini is green
It should never be seen
That's a moleeee

 

[Nottonightbabe]

When you join thread 31
Fraus be like "are you done?"
That's a mole

Well you threatened the fraus
But it's #193 now
That's a moleeeee!

 

[MancBee]

When you're on his show
Eamonn sniggers, we know
That's a moleeee

When you're on TV
The cabal's full of glee
That's a moleee

When you're covering your arse
You cut your toe on some glass
That's a mole

(The last one only works if you've got a middle class Southend accent)

 

[Pixieboots]

The moray version of the song has reminded me of one of my other all time fave memes:

 

[Captainmouse]

With your shark like eyes
and constant porkie pies
that’s a molee

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I am laughing so much!!! I love love love these!!!!!!! ❤❤❤

 

[Captainmouse]

When you take off your hat
and you’re sporting kumquat
that’s a molee

 

[Dogmuck]

When your dirty cutlery
messes with our Manc Bee that’s a moleeee

 

[MancBee]

When you grate your corned beef
It puts on edge all my teeth
That's a moleeee

When your cake's like a brick
And your stews look like sick
That's a moleeee

(There were so many options with that last one, I decided to keep it clean)

 

[Mitzymooface]

When you grate your corned beef
It puts on edge all my teeth
That's a moleeee

When your cake's like a brick
And your stews look like sick
That's a moleeee

(There were so many options with that last one, I decided to keep it clean)

Paging slopbot...

 

[HotesTilaire]

When you don’t time cooking pasta live in the pot,
It’s “slightly” undercooked, you lose your slot
On this m-ooorning

 

[MancBee]

When your bungalow has stairs
And you've too many chairs
That's a moleeee

When you sleep in a tent
In a garden you rent
That's a moleeee

When you rent a big home
Though you live there alone
That's a moleeee

(Last one was a bit cruel...but accurate)

 

[Captainmouse]

When you piss off the viggles,
you lose lots of squiggles
that’s a molee

 

[MancBee]

When you've a wig on your head
Looks like you're straight out of bed
That's a mole

When the doc's by your bed
Prescribing lipstick, bright red
That's a moleeee

When you cook in your shed
And we can't see your head
That's a moleeee


I must stop.

 

[Captainmouse]

When A 20 pound shop
will only produce slop
thats a molee

 

[Jelly Bean]

When you tweet about your poos
And you wear clumpy shoes
That's a molee

 

[kachoochoo]

when you've got ouchy lip
and a communal skip
that's a mole

 

[bowiethesdmn]

A little ode to piano Jack...

When you call yourself maestro
And put on a trite show
That's amoleee

When you hammer the keys
with a display of unease
that's amoleeeee

When your musical binge
makes everyone cringe
that's amoleeeee

View attachment 602718 q

Thanks for the new thread Hotes!

This photo puts me in mind of hugging the toilet bowl and trying to stop the dry heaves after a night of heavy everythinging.

There's also probably a toilet-talent analogy to be made here but I'm too tired so just pretend I did.

eta: oh god i ruined the singalong

 

[indigomoon]

When your labia escape
Stick some slop on a crepe
That’s amoleeee

 

[Captainmouse]

When your labia escape
maybe try tit tape
thats a molee