Jack Monroe #181 Time flies when you’re judging slop

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I’ve been on a permanent grunk but I’ve just about caught up now. I feel like I’m some sort of reverse talisman because all of the good chaos’ seem to happen when I am BUSY.
The failed experiment tweet had me in a heightened state of cringey grimace, I never realised that you could feel secondhand embarrassment in quite such a visceral way. I think my chin and jawline are markedly more toned since I joined the cabal, purely from the amount of clenching and cringing that I do on behalf of our dear heart.
 
Don’t get me wrong, influencers are all a bit vommy and the “friend that markets you tit” schtick is gross, but just browsing Insta stories and seen the attached. Each slide is animated & transitions well, they’re ~aesthetic, you actually understand what you’re being sold, it’s all legally declared as #ad, just the difference in quality of this single #ad versus Jack Monroe’s 6 month campaign with Del Monte is massive.

How does Jack get away with it time & time again? Imagine if we saw anything 25% as well presented as this on Jack’s feed, we’d die of shock
 

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Spotted this piece in Private Eye about who has been making claims for furlough money. They’ve been doing some digging. Anyone know how to access the list?

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It’s been found and posted on the thread before & confirms bootstrap ltd have furloughed one employee. So Jack’s claims that Jack’s paying Caroline out of Jack’s own pocket isn’t quite true, however it is likely Jack’s doing Jack maths and where Jack’s paid so much in VAT on Cotswolds co and John Lewis goodies that the money has come back to Jack therefore is and always was Jack’s very own?

Jackedy Jack Jack
 
Dearest cabal, I awoke this morning feeling like making granola. I have shunned my usual choices of cocao/sea salt and other maple syrup based delicacies &, in a quest to prove once and for all that I’m not Jack Monroe, tested a Jack Monroe recipe.

The choice: peanut butter granola. I immediately regretted this when I had to skim through some guff about her liking peanut butter but not owning a toaster.

The recipe calls for 30ml of unspecified oil (I used rapeseed as I only had that or olive), 4 tablespoons of peanut butter (again unspecified but I used Wholeearth crunchy as that was what I had in-fancy but no palm oil 🦧), 4 tbsp of golden syrup and (here’s the issue) 300g of rolled porridge oats.

Were the oats supposed to be rolled or porridge? I had no idea. But conveniently I only had around 150g (164 to be precise) of rolled oats so made the rest up with porridge oats <insert Tom Cruise gif>.

Followed process to the letter as follows.

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From here the recipe was no longer a success. 300g was simply too many oats. Had I been making this myself without doing a recipe test I would have stopped at 200g and had reasonable clusters of granola. As it was I persisted.
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I placed it in the oven for 15 minutes at 180 degrees. The recipe did not allow me to check on the granola or turn it so I did not (whilst this felt like stupidity I imagined I was a poor squiggle with no coolinary experience).

When it came out I can confirm that there were still too many oats in the recipe.
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I consumed a little with milk (oat) as the recipe suggests and it was incredibly bland with an odd aftertaste but the odd bit that had taken up enough peanut butter was okay. It certainly wasn’t inedible. The flavour was, unsurprisingly, better when served with a banana and some vanilla Alpro yoghurt.

If you make it (I recommend you don’t), put in fewer oats and only use rolled oats (perhaps remove the porridge bit from the recipe, Jack?) & it would be better.

To those waiting for the cinnamon granola...don’t.
That looks very different from Jack's picture where you have lovely large chunks of granola! It would have been the cheapest smart price oats she used (not a criticism as that's what someone who is an extreme budget cook would do) and they are pretty tiny.
 
Going slightly tangentially (sorry, Poca!), reading that Mom feature -

Did nobody think to google what happened to Nigella and her family twenty years ago before sending the first email?

Those replies could have been said absolutely nicely and without any concern - or they could just as easily have been sent through gritted teeth at another idiot not doing their research or, as I think she hints in one of her Twitter replies - through tears.
 
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Going slightly tangentially (sorry, Poca!), reading that Mom feature -

Did nobody think to google what happened to Nigella and her family twenty years ago before sending the first email?

Those replies could have been said absolutely nicely and without any concern - or they could just as easily have been sent through gritted teeth at another idiot not doing their research or, as I think she hints in one of her replies - through tears.

It’s part of a celebration of 20 years of the Observer food monthly so I assume she had some warning about it/knew it was coming when she agreed to do the interview, but it still must have been a punch to the gut for her. I thought her answer was lovely, and really just that she was brave to agree to do it at all when there was the overlap.
 
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